SRL Archive - Discussions & Debates

Long wall of text, but please please do take a few minutes of your day to read it all, I'm just really bummed and sucking at life and any feedback or anything would really mean a lot to me…:(.


It's 2:36AM right now so I don't think I'll be able to get into as much detail as I've wanted to make this post really convey how I'm feeling and what I'm (not) doing but I just really need to get stuff of my chest.

For quite a while I've thought my life was blah, especially since moving out of my house and into an apartment for college. This was supposed to be some the best few years of my life.
After being home with strict parents this was supposed to be absolute freedom!!! Yeah, I had to focus on tough classes, but besides that, car, own place, living with best friends, living very close to girlfriend, drinking (which I barely do :p but it's nice that I can), clubs, and the awesome college atmosphere! So many people, opportunities, and freedom!

……and what have I done? Well… nothing…..
As the quarters have passed, I've become more and more of a … deadbeat?

Stay up late, wake up late, hardly study, miss class often due to oversleeping, and sometimes when I do wake up on time I say to myself 'eh I can miss another day' and sleep more, sit on my ass on my computer doing absolutely NOTHING all day, I go out to class, I leave room to eat, and besides that…. not much… My grades are not very impressive at all and I just settle for C's (70-79%) in my classes….

I can tell the past month it has gotten SO MUCH worse, and the worst part about it is although I notice it, and hate it, and feel useless…. I barely even care….. It's just so hard to care/change my habits

I know WHAT to do, study daily, eat healthier, go out, mingle, do things, write my resume so I can get a job in this city instead of having to go home for summer (3 months) meaning not seeing my girlfriend very often (which she keeps bugging me to do, and I know she will hate me and I will hate it being home all summer and away from her) but I just can't do anything! Sleep, Eat, Computer, not care about school or job or anything…..

I guess my life has never been too interesting, a lot is spend on the computer, and the time I do have with friends is often video games, but sometimes we actually do more social things like board games, and go places… but usually I feel like weather I'm by myself or with friends, all I do is just unimportant and wasted time. It's hard to find fun and affordable and 'good' things to do with friends besides sitting around, being board, playing games etc. I want to DO SOMETHING with my friends we can have fun with and remember….

I just feel like almost every aspect of my life is going to shit, I'm settling for less and just going with the flow, and I hate HATE HATE that I just don't care to fix it….

So um, what the heck do I do to fix this?

I want to care about school more, I want to STUDY DAILY instead of cramming for 1 or 2 days and getting crappy grades…

I want to wake up at a decent hour.

I want to DO SOMETHING with my life besides computer and sitting in my apartment all day (But I feel like to do this, my grades must be better first, so I stay inside to 'study' (which I hardly do) and end up wasting time).

I want to finish my resume and actively apply for many jobs in the area to assure I get one in Davis(My Uni City) and not Tracy(my home City) so I can have a great summer with my girlfriend and MONEY which I need.

I just want to CARE and do better…..

Yeah yeah you can say to suck it up and just DO IT get of your ass and just flipping do all of those things every day little by little; and that essentially is the right/only answer to all of my problems, but I feel it's just not that easy D:


So yeah just free-wrote all of that, sorry for lack of organization and stuff just really wanted to get it out before I go to bed.

Goodnight SRL!

Hey amigo,

Turn off the computer. Call some friends. Go out on friday. Recover saturday and PLOW THE HELL ON WITH YOUR WORK for the next few months. I'm kinda in the same position… so go on… push yourself. Your a great guy.

You can do it :)

That's how my life been the past two years aswell :( So I guess is kind of "Good" to see some one that is going through the same thing.

Many of my professors says procrastination is the numebr 1 reason of flunking college, and its true! We get soo much more freedom and we all start to go lazy. Although its always easy to say "I will do this" or even making plans of what you are going to do, it is VERY hard and am sure you and i both know this quite well :(


So in the last month of school, I began to see a guidance counsellor at my school. What they would do is start setting up goals for me, and arrange meeting with me quite frequently, and gradually decrease in frequency. Thanks to that, I was able to follow most of my study schedule and cram passed 3 out of 5 class. But unfortunately I am still very near edge of flunking out.

SO thats my story, and I HIGHLY encourage you to do the same, if you have a guidance counsellor or course aid (as they called it in my uni).

If not, I would actually be happy if you and I (no homo) could counsel each other. Give each other's our own pre planned schedule, and follow up with each other and flame if one doesn't complete their tasks. We can talk more about this on pm or fb.

You're not alone. I graduated last year and was supposed to leave for the military, but I messed up my shoulder and I'm still sitting at home in my parents house sleeping all day and staying up all night while all my buddys are shipping off and starting their lives. All my high school friends have went to college, so I really have nothing to do except play video games and use the computer.

I think the first thing you need to do to change your habits, is to be positive. Even if you don't want to be, think positive. Say in your head, "I'm going to sleep at 10 tonight, tomorrow I'm changing for the better." and do it, like its normal for you. That's the only way you will change your habits. If you want to study daily, to give yourself motivation, look at the people around you that study every single day and say.. "I want to be like them, I WILL be like them." I know that sounds pretty lame, but that's exactly what you have to do. If you want to be more social with your friends, hang out with them more. I wasn't very social during school until I met my best friend last year, I hung out with him everyday this past summer and it really changed the social aspect of my life.

For the first week or two, you will have to do things you don't want to do - theres no avoiding the feeling of "Man, I don't want to do this..", but after a few weeks of doing it you will get used to it and it will become a everyday thing.

So to wrap all that up with a simple suggestion: go do something right now that you've been putting off. Don't think about it, just press the power button on your computer and go do it. Remain positive and push all the thoughts telling you to be lazy or what not out of your head.

Edit: I have a suggestion for your sleeping. If you're constantly getting up and telling yourself you don't want to get up, so you skip school, then try setting your alarm clock for a specific time and then goto sleep WHEN you feel tired. A good way to judge it is to just read a book or watch tv for a few minutes and if you doze off a little, its time to goto sleep. Then wake up when your alarm goes off. Do this every night.. after the second or third night of me trying this, I felt great when I got up. I literally heard the alarm, shut it off, and 30 seconds later I was already out of bed getting dressed and I didn't even feel tired.

If you do this, your body will get the exact amount of sleep it needs as long as you go to bed when your body tells you to.

Aw man YoHoJo I wish you'd have told me about this earlier… I had similar issues somewhere along the line in Highschool, but that's not what you need to hear right now. Hearing more of "Yeah I know how you feel" isn't going to fix anything so I'll come right out with some personal advice to throw your way.

Not many people know this but a part of the reason I left the US was because of a not-so-great situation at a home. I come from a small (5,000-6,000) population town; not much happens or ever will. Some of us, including me, dream of the bigger, better life. You wanna do something incredible with your life, maybe you want to put your name down in history, or maybe you're like me, you want adventure. So to motivate myself to work hard (this was some time after highschool) I just kept the same thought in my head "Just deal with what you have to do now, the chance will come soon for you to get the hell out of Dodge". My friends and everyone I knew who graduated before (and along with) me from highschool & college never left the town. Isn't that depressing to think about? 12, 13 years of school and however many other years of college for what… staying in the same boring town all your life?

Don't accept it man. If you're aware enough to realize exactly what your problem is and how to fix it, than you and I both know you're not the kind of person who wants to just go with the flow. You must feel like you're here for something more, maybe a higher cause. Take an interest in whatever classes you're taking. The harder you work towards them the higher grades you're gonna score. And the higher scores you make, the more opportunities you unveil.

There's a whole world out there, flowing with opportunities, and it's a bloody big world. No one said you have to stay in the US. Other countries are desperate for college grads with even small-time degrees, this is the truth for the part of the world I'm living in now.

Well, I hope it helps.

I don't want to sound harsh in this post but here is my advice to you:

Tell someone real! Tell this to your best friend, your girlfriend or even you parents? People who know you in real life will be much more suited to helping you through this point in your life. They will be able to motivate you to get up in the morning and help you to ensure you actually do something with your day instead of spending time on your computer along.

My second piece of advice is just simply go to bed early. You posted this thread in the dead of night when most sane people would be fast asleep! Going to sleep at more reasonable times will make you feel a lot more energetic. It will also help you to get up at more reasonable times instead of sleeping through most of the day.

My third piece of advice is to find a new hobby, why not join a club that specialises in something you have never tried before. Perhaps a soccer team, swimming team, arts, dance… the possibilities of what you can do are endless. If you enjoy it and stick to it you will easily meet loads of new people who may be just what you need to get you out of this rut and get you excited about your life again.

You will first have think of your purpose in life, like what are your ambitions/aspirations? Almost every one wants (and have the potential) to be special or even an important figure in human history, and what they lack is not talent or intelligence, but rather, determination.

Perhaps you can have something symbolic about what you want to be beside ur bed (eg. a picture of u in astronomical suit) and use it to constantly motivate yourself. Then change your habits INSTANTLY. Most people think that habits are hard to get rid of at once so they try to slowly drop it off. The reality is that they often make little or no progress and give up after a period of time. The best (and surprisingly easiest) way is to totally change all ur eating,sleeping,studying habits at once. Starting from this very moment, tell yourself that you have reborn to Einstein and forget about your past (and never ever seek the old path again), and live every moment (starting from now) in the most meaningful way possible.

You can make a timetable/routine and follow strictly to it, and within few weeks you will get used to it. The good thing about life is that when its getting better, it will only get even better (you are even more motivated to go on). "The journey of a thousand miles begin with a single step", unfortunately the hardest move is often the first step. Once u start it, everything will flow smoothly, just constantly motivate yourself; play hard, work hard!

Do you have a roommate? If not, get one which is active in school, goes to parties in the weekends. I did that, and life has been great!

You need someone to kick some action into you.

Small amount of text, but the essentials are here.

Hey bud,
I go through these stages in my life to, and the way I try and cope with it is to dedicate myself to something. Everyone would love to be able to motivate themselves to do something but we're just human and that means we have flaws, so don' t think your'e alone on this one.
For me the best way to get over this was my dedication to swimming, everytime i feel that I'm unable to work I go hit the pool or the gym and work until i feel bust then i come back and either depending on the time sleep or work.
Doing exercise helps to release endorphins to the brain which helps you to feel better and this allows you to feel better about yourself and the situation you're in. This then leads onto work - once you've exercised you just have to find a piece of work that you have and just start working at it.
Get yourself into that routine and you'll start to enjoy life more, there's no need to feel bummed about it. Who knows if you dedicate yourself to something you may find that you're fabulously good at it and that would go further more into boosting your self-esteem and confidence.
Plus who wouldn't want to feel/look in shape - it would certainly help with your girlfriend ;)


Anyways I'll cut this short as I've got to dash off to a lesson - but if you want any help just respond here or pm me :D

While reading your post I felt like reading my own curriculum vitae. I had huge problems in the last 4 years. It all started by smoking weed as I was 12. I thought i could handle it. Go to school and if I passed the school day I could do whatever I want. But after a few months I started dont caring about school anymore. I had to year 12 always great marks (A-B) then I started doing no homework anymore. I had made 0 homework in 4 years.. After 1 year I started not going to school regulary anymore I started feeling worse without beeing high all the time so I started wasting myself before school. After the second year starting it I began to saw that I could go to my Doctor and getting free school days to weeks. Of course I had not telled it to my parents and I always could handle "drugs" very good so my parents did not notice anything. My exams still were good but I did not sayed anything for the whole day in school to the lesson and if I tryed to say anything productive it was just some freaking stuff no one (except my friends doing the same) understands. I still did not saw that it is getting worser and worser every day. The third year I was not stoned maybe 1 day in 4 months. I started getting annoyed of the world if I was normal. I felt bad and worthless. The problem was that I still my grades were oke so I thought everything was great. Then in year 3 of highlife my parents started noticing it as I started drinking and smoking alone.

I got out of this as I started getting active on this forum. I began for the first time in 4 years getting interested in something except wasting myself, partying the weekends and driving bmx from time to time. I stopped wasting myself all day and began to notice my situation. My lung was that bad that I started "cought mucus?" every few minutes. I was 1 week without any drugs and I started getting interested in things again, I started feeling better myself. The worst problem is that you are starting feeling normal when beeing high, you think you make everything well but if you are no Rockstar or beeing rich from beginning of your life you can´t do this your whole life or you wont reach anything. I began realising it, started studying a bit again but I could not anymore. It was hard to concentrade and I always saw myself if I "studyed" for 5 hours maybe studying for 30 minutes. Then I started getting myself some rules I will never break. I am not drinking or anything like that under the week and make my homework.

Now a few month later my grades are getting better again. I can concentrade on school stuff again and feeling better. I got the these problems with sleeping bad etc too. The most important thing is to organize your day. Get yourself a hobby as playing an instrument or something like that. I started playing guitar and restarted playing piano and making MMA now. You should try to study below the week like 2-3 hours a day straight. The rest of the time meet friends and on the weekends or holidays do crazy things as driving through the country with your girlfriend and a few of your best buds with 200$ each. Try to stay as long as you can with that money. Stuff like that helped me to organize myself again. I would first get the school stuff to what you want to have again then start getting active with "parties" or whatever.

Longest text I ever wrote in a forum…


*Edit

Here is a movie of Steve-O. He was at the worst point of life. And nowadays he is 100% clean. Not even drinking alcohol anymore.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52xA85EJIhY&feature=related

This will be a rather pointless post, but I will just state that I am unable to give any advice, as I have the same problem. =(

I just don't feel like doing anything, even though I know I should. So..same as you.

I got the same thing. Exactly the same, but then worse. In the end grades will fall below a c and you prefer staring too an empty screen above doing anything. In the inside you know it is wrong, but you can't stop doing nothing or less important task above the important once. I found a fix though, sporting. It takes some time, you will quit the first 10 tries, but in the end you might actually sport everyday and you will finally do the important stuff over the other.

Start going for morning runs. You will be more healthy, have more energy, and have a reason to get up. Small bit of advice, do with it what you will.

My honest advice -
Pull out the computer wires, and pre pone the mail to you for a month.
What I mean is, package the wires, and tell the mailmen to deliver it to you in one month, and do whatever you want till then.
Also, it sounds like you have a small case of insomnia, so take some sleeping pills.
As for school, I have no clue haha. Im kinda like an idiotic genius, I do no work/homework in class yet still get 80-90s, so I can't help you on that account.

Anti depression pills, or just take adderall.

Dude you are not alone. In my case however, I live with caring parents who are willing to provide anything for me to do well in school including motivational gifts for me. But I have come to realise that even with gifts and a middle class lifestyle, there isn't much one can do for a person who doesn't want to help themselves.

Another life lesson I have learned is that procrastination is the devil's tool for keeping us dormant. You see the devil really does not want any one of us to get anywhere in life. He likes to keep us doing something but nothing at all. You have to be the one to drag yourself out of that deep (seemingly comfortable) valley and out to the hilltop and really take a look at what you called normal lifestyle. For most of us it works and we start to take initiative, for others it requires a bit more than that.

Me for example like I stated earlier, I was like that for close to 4 years of my life; from grades 10 to first year in college. Always procrastinating, never wanting to put in that extra effort. But seriously though, who wants to put in that extra effort? I realized this now which is why I have decided to find a new motivation which is why I got a girlfriend. I realised that if I cannot motivate myself in school based on the idea that I will be able to get a good job after school, I decided to explore one aspect of my life that I have never explored and believe me man, when you find that motivation, it works.

Have you heard the phrase, "Readers are Leaders"? Another thing that has helped me is that I started reading books; currently I am reading "YES MA'AM, NO SIR - The 12 essential steps for success in life" By Coach Carter (it's also a movie, but I am watching the movie after reading the book). Once you start reading, it becomes a a habit that can help you a lot in the long run. One thing I learned from reading this book so far is the idea of setting goals for yourself, whether it be in the long run or basically planning your day. Setting goals really help in refining you and giving you a purpose for each day. This involves writing down your goals - as easy as this sounds, you'd be surprised as to how hard it is to implement in your life. You say you are always finding yourself staying up late and basically not living your life with purpose; well as you start to set goals, you will find yourself performing better and better each day.

Anyways before this post gets too long, hang in there dude, I have a feeling you are destined for something great in life, heck we all are which is why we must all be proactive in our lives and not let the devil make life uninteresting for us. Life really is interesting once you have a goal/purpose driven life (that is also another book). Best of luck and please try my advice. Believe me it only starts with you doing something different each day of your life, no matter how small and you will start seeing small changes in yourself.

Hey Yoho,

I had this exact same issue after getting out of high school and going into my first year of college. I was really getting sick of it and I felt as though I couldn't control what was happening to me. I told my parents eventually when I had enough of feeling that way and we went to see a psychologist. It turns out that I had ADD symptoms and the lifestyle that I was adapting was learned helplessness (which is essentially depression caused by ADD).

I was prescribed adderall a few weeks ago and I haven't felt better since. What you've described could fit into a few different causes, but this is EXACTLY how I was feeling. The psychologist told me that bright people with ADD will often get by for a while unnoticed since they can compensate, but there's a point where compensation will not work anymore. It sounds like you've hit that point, just as I did a few months ago.

My advice is to tell your parents and see a psychologist/psychiatrist about it. That's their job and most of them are really willing to help. Good luck with whatever you do.

From: Sin

Also, it sounds like you have a small case of insomnia, so take some sleeping pills.
As for school, I have no clue haha. Im kinda like an idiotic genius, I do no work/homework in class yet still get 80-90s, so I can't help you on that account.

I strongly advise against taking sleeping pills, except you have really problems with sleeping.
You would feel dizzy in the morning, even less motivated and with time you couldn't even fall asleep without pills. Most of them are addictive.
Try to use some natural stuff, they helped me a lot.

@S1N, as I read several times you are 15, right?
I don't know your school system, but here, school became more difficult with time. So enjoy the next 2-3 years of chilling :)

@Yohojo
I think your situation is similar to mine. Several people told me, that this is because of the age. (hard to fall asleep, no motivation)
So I can't really give you any advice, just not to take sleeping pills :)

Listen to Flea and Euphemism.. Trust me. Been programming since 9 years old.. Had that problem throughout highschool for about a year until my locker buddy.. a girl decided that if I don't stop I'd go no where and she took my laptop for days.. Trashed all my hacks, cracks, everything.. I used to be all over miniclips and addictings games and all that crap..

Go out and run you'll get more energy and tell someone real like flea said. If you don't do anything but school your going to be depressed and lazy and dependent on the computer to have fun. You can be a little nerdy and be chill at the same time! I say you pick up a sport even if your not good at it.. You'll learn and be active at least. Join a gym.

From: Sin
My honest advice -
Pull out the computer wires, and pre pone the mail to you for a month.
What I mean is, package the wires, and tell the mailmen to deliver it to you in one month, and do whatever you want till then.
Also, it sounds like you have a small case of insomnia, so take some sleeping pills.
As for school, I have no clue haha. Im kinda like an idiotic genius, I do no work/homework in class yet still get 80-90s, so I can't help you on that account.

Not studying or do homework is a really bad habit to get in to even if you can pull off a decent grade on tests. It will really get you at the higher grade levels like JR/Senior year of HS and College. My teacher told me now to get used to the fact that you have to study/do HW so you don't get owned when you DO have to study. If you don't learn now you won't know how to study when you really need to.

@OP You are on the computer a lot right? You should be able to multi-task easily with school work which is exactly what I do. You won't be as focused, but you will get things done eventually. What I do is do something AFKable in RS and I just do my HW or look over some notes. Try to finish all your things EARLY so you can get a great night sleep. All my buddies sleep at awful times, but I am able to sleep at 9-10PM if I wanted to. As for your social life, I can't really help you there. Best of luck to you and hope things go better for you.

Hey dude, totally not gunna help, but my sister is goin up to davis starting this fall :). anyway, i felt a lot like you too last year. you just need to motivate yourself to get out. and thats hard to do. the laziness is only going to get worse if you cant be a man and stop it. know what you need to do, and then do it; no excuses. :)

Maybe its a dumb comparison, but it's like quitting smoking. You need to make a commitment to yourself to stop doing it and make a change in your life. Your life isn't going to magically change one night. Start off small. Say your going to go to sleep at a certain time and stick to it. Set your alarm clock and show up to class on time.

I know for me personally when I finally figured out college and learned how to study, it was like a weight being lifted off my shoulder. Its so much easier studying for classes when you do it over the span of a semester, instead of the week leading up to finals. When I got good grades, it felt great that I had earned them and lived up to my potential.

As for the friends part, your current friends or people you have yet to meet won't break into your apartment and come find you. You have to get out and do that yourself.

I'm not sure how terrible you feel, but if your really low you might consider going to your doctor for a anti-depressant. If your against medication, working out helps out and there are a couple of supplements that I heard can have some of the effects anti-depressants have, but are not as severe.

Yohojo! You are not alone my friend! I too experienced this all school year. I have committed myself to change, with the helpful push of my parents and relatives. As someone already mentioned, tell someone IRL.

Also I heard somewhere that the top 10% most productive people write down their short term, and long term goals.

I think we all have experienced this apart from (Nerds). Its normal, just some people don't know when its time to buck up your ideas, and it seems that you have today. Its just weather you will do something about it or t will continue to get worse.

Hope I helped.

some people said take some pills. But not to be rude to people i don't suggest that you do that cause if u forget to take ur antidepressants / sleeping pills then u will feel really depressed/ wont be able to sleep. Like someone else said, maybe u just need a new hobby.

YoHoJo, I'm gonna talk to you on MSN when I get the chance. I went through a similar situation, I'd rather not post here about it though, don't want to blend in with everyone else's answers. Hope to see you on soon!

PS- You're going to be fine. :)

It seems that you WANT alot of things? But whose stopping you then?
I guess it's you? :)

Changes takes time and you should look deep into you're lifestyle and find out you'r biggest problems.(I see 2 very huge ones. Computer and lack of motivation)
There is a reason why people get wasted and go clubs every weekend. :) you should do the same, with you'r girlfriend or find some friends who love getting wasted.
And NO, getting wasted every weekend does not make you a alcoholic. :)
It's a good way to have fun and drown your problems temporarily.

Your problems.
*) lack of motivation.
*) lack of social life.
*) the last on COMPUTER.

One of the problems you had was strick parents. They problebly didn't allow to smoke and drink? house parties?
I'm 100% sure that you had similar problem at your home town? It easier to sit on computer, sleep all day, skipping the school and do nothing all day, than go out and face the reality that your life sux.

I guess my life has never been too interesting

That's the problem. When you where little younger, you should've hang out and doing "bad" things or skating or whatever guys do at your home town. :) And now you took all your "bad" habits with you to city. Thinking that moving changes anything.

And I know you say you have friends? but i highly doubt about it. Maybe virtual ones, but what you need is social ones.
and I know that you said that you are aware of what you want? But what i think is that, if you wanted all of these thing(job, not skipping school etc.)
you could easily achieve these. Saying I want this and this, you're just aware of that your life sucks and you need to do something to change it, but you don't know how. You are stuck at never ending circle.


Get priorities right? :)
*)Which is more important? Sitting all night on computer and doing nothing useful or sleeping?
To get back on tracks with sleeping try go sleeping late and force you're self up on the early in morning so you would be very tired. Try to avoid naps.
Next night. Because your very tired, try to go sleeping few hour's earlier than last night. Wake up early in the morning and so on. Until you'r back on normal sleeping time. Where you should be. Not 2 AM or 3AM. :)

*)you went to city for what? Sleep all day, eat and be in computer? No, you went there for school and I guess your parents are paying your bills? They are not paying so you could sleep all day. So going to school is the most important thing you should do. :)



PS:I aware of that my English sucks and my English vocabulary is limited.
I know that my post probably won't help you or neither the others.
I just felt that I need to write it.
I hope you understand my English.

Only person who can help you is YOU. It requires a lot of time to work on your own and to change bad habits.

Maybe try to speak with somebody? Mom? Sharing your problems with somebody. It helps always. :)

First year of college, and this is exactly how i feel too…

I am in the same situation 100%, I won't comment on how to fix it because I would just be a hypocrite; I just wanted to thank you for creating a thread I didn't have the courage to create.

Thank you so much everyone, keep them coming.

I also appreciate the posts of people saying they are in/were in the same situation (even if they don't have any advice) it's just nice to see we're all not alone.

Will post more later, but I just wanted to say thank you thank you all so much for being supportive and taking time to give some great advice, some of you wrote some really good stuff!

Please continue!

I also have had the same problem. I have a debilitating liver disease which made me lose my scholarship at ASU and spend the last 2 years at home doing almost nothing. its depressing to feel like a nothing or a deadbeat. Studying is hard, and motivation is even harder to come by.

I don't care what anybody says, the only advice I have found to work in this situation is make a goal and take a step. doesn't matter how you felt in the past, just take a step into the future that you want and let yourself move forward.


I'm rooting for you man, Good luck.

My advice:

Spend less time on your computer, more time outside and doing shit with friends/girlfriend.
Go to sleep as early as possible, I used to go to sleep wayy too late in middle school and when I hit highschool I had to be asleep at like 9:30 to be well rested. About my sophomore year I realized if I went to sleep at 9:00 or earlier and walked/biked to school I felt so much better.

DON'T TAKE PILLS, trust me they don't work. To go to sleep earlier you have to work your way back, sleeping pills don't help at all. If you're having trouble going to sleep I suggest getting off the computer as early as possible, try to relax before you try to go to sleep. If you have a lot on your mind try meditation.

My 2 cents. Just get active, get away from the computer as much as possible, try to go to sleep early. Try picking up a sport, or just getting in shape.

From: YoHoJo
Thank you so much everyone, keep them coming.

I also appreciate the posts of people saying they are in/were in the same situation (even if they don't have any advice) it's just nice to see we're all not alone.

Thought it'd be useless me saying it, but since it helps, I'm pretty much in the same situation. It's probably not as uncommon to have all that stuff get you down as you thought, but it's just the different ways in which it affects people.

Wow, idk what to say but to push urself forward into your future. I used to be in the same situation when I was 13-15 years old. When my friends invited me to the park/party's, I didn't want to go with them cause I wanted to stay home playing runescape. Good thing I found bots and managed to take care of runescape. Now I'm in college and have more time to study, school, family/friends, and in progress of finding that love (which I haven't had luck with that). I have done all of that because I think back and say: I wish I had time to spend with my friends, now it's pretty hard to gather together since they are all in college( including me). The thing I always keep in mind is: I'm going to live to the max cause later the friends I have now, might not have the time they have now. Go out and party/ get drunk/ but be a good boy and stay safe.

I have been there multiple times throughout high school (Actually every year), I know I need good marks to get into engineering and a ridiculous amount of effort in school yet I would always be playing video games or hanging out with friends.

It didn't really affect my sleeping that much but the main problem was that every night I would lay down to sleep and then it would hit me that I haven't done anything productive with my time. I just felt like I was letting this time slip without having accomplished anything.

But of course I came back every time, I couldn't concentrate on studying until I realized I owe it to my family for always being there for me and helping me develop so I could be successful, and to myself to get off my ass and work hard towards achieving something as I knew I would regret it if I messed up my chance to make something of myself and live a life I could enjoy. So now I'm back to studying hard as it's my last semester of high school, accepted into engineering at my cities university.

The main idea I'm portraying is I know it's hard to concentrate on it but you owe it to your self to not waste this time as it will never come again/

EDITED: Too much info

The answer is God. I know this sounds really silly but being in a relationship with him is what he designed us for. I have no clue if you even believe he exists, most people do. Knowing that he might be out there and actually being in community with fellow believers and having someone always there for you (God) is very comforting.
I'm not expecting you to actually take my advise because the "Christian life" might seem very boring and full of rules you have to follow. These rules are to protect us and if you really do walk with God (relying on him daily), your life will be forever changed. Living as a Christian is not easy. People will call you ignorant for not believing in evolution, you will be made fun of sometimes, your old friends want you back with them.
But what you gain is so worth it. You don't need to rely on yourself anymore, God WILL help you get through your struggles by using other people in your life and sometimes by acts that seem like miracles. God created us and only by putting your faith in him you will feel satisfied forever If you have any questions, feel free to drop me a pm :)

the positive is you acknowledge somethings wrong.set yourself goals large or small.
look in the mirror and tell ya self you can do it! repeat.

I can see where you're coming from, and I think you need to dwell on the good that has come out of what you have done so far instead of dwelling on what hasn't come out of it.

From what I can tell, you're a great programmer. You must be majoring in computer science or something. Am I right? This will take you somewhere, believe me. You have the knowledge above or equivalent to a college graduate who has majored in computer engineering and/or computer science I would assume. Dwell on this, not on the fact that you should be out and about more.

However, you said it yourself that you need to change and know how. If that's what you want, then push yourself to do what you want to do. Otherwise, you don't really want to do it in my opinion. If you're looking to meet more people, either start talking to people in your classes more or join a club that you're interested in. I know there's more people just like you in a club somewhere, you just have to find them. You're bound to have a lot in common with a large group of people at your college.

If none of this helps, talk to someone in real life about your problem, preferably at your school, as they are bound to be much more helpful than any of us on here.

Push on with confidence,
Spiker :)

I just finished up my Junior year of college, and I feel almost exactly the same way.

-I have IRL friends, but we never really do anything social. We game and get dinner and stuff together, but we're a pretty reclusive group; in the last three years I've been to five parties, and that was with the one friend in our group who regularly does that sort of thing. I drink, but infrequently; hadn't ever even gotten drunk until this semester.

-I haven't had a girlfriend (or even dated) since high school. I feel like I'm too far out of the game by now to get back into it, and with only one year of college left I'm not sure it's worth the effort at this point.

-I was disappointed by B+'s in high school, but at this point I'm ok with C-'s. I'm double majoring (Engineering Science and Physics), and my GPAs are 2.78 and 2.75 respectively.

-I stay up until 2-3 AM doing jack dick, but I can't really sleep before then. Every semester, my bedtime seems to get later and later.

-I had gained a lot of weight over the last three years. This one I've actually started doing something about. I started working out (with my party-going friend) at the beginning of the semester, and I've gotten back to basically where I was senior year of high school.

-To this day I've never had a real job, and I'm worried at this point no one will hire me. I'm 0/3 on applications for jobs this summer, still have about 5 more to hear back from.

I've been reading through this thread trying to get some tips for myself, actually. For YoHo: Keep on keepin' on, and if you get any useful advice let me know :p

EDIT: I just noticed I made Junior Member with this post :)

I'm kind of going through the same thing man. Glad to know I'm not the only one lol. I did the worst I've ever done in school last semester, I got a 3.00, my gpa was pulled down to a 3.37 because of it. You might want to talk to your parents about it. It may be hard, but depression is hereditary. It's really likely at least one of your parents have gone through this too. You should also talk to a doctor about it. If you live above, I believe it was Atlanta, you are likely to have a low vitamin d count which can lead to pretty much everything you described. It's so easy for people to say get motivated and do all this stuff. And hell, it does work for a little bit. I sometimes get on these self improvement highs for a week or so. Then I just drop back into the same old routine. Try taking it in really small steps.

Though I want to say, it doesn't really sound like your depressed, more so just apathetic. Try going out for a walk or something every day. I actually just started to and it feels really nice. I just walk around my neighborhood for 30 min or so and I'm a lot less stressed when I get back lol.

Oh, and it kind of helps me, idk if it will help you. Always stay organized. Having a calendar and shit helps so much.

I think you should listen to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEitrZU-nCw

I only read your posts and no one else's. I can honestly say that I feel almost exactly the same way as you.

I think one way to stop you from staying up late playing the computer particularly would be to sell your good computer, or take it to your parents, and just buy yourself a slower shitty laptop so you cannot play games, but still be good enough to help you study. You are American, I am Australian. My mate used to live in USA and he says that uni/school life is COMPLETELY different and social aspects are totally different also, as being a lot more people in America, you come across more assholes which bring you down with them.

I am getting a bit lost in what I am saying so I am going to stop. Good luck with your life.

Your Collage/Uni days DEFINE YOUR WHOLE LIFE!

when i went to college i felt the same, weird, but i actually enjoyed the first 2 years of college (im taking a degree in accounting, wtf?) and i did went out quite often, i got drunk plenty of times, gained a few pounds, enjoyed the college girls, and all it has to offer…

but ya know, after the first 2 years i simply lost it, now i never get out at night (almost), but i did change my life, my grades are much better, i went to the gym, lost the fat i gained, although after that i gained 14 pounds of muscle, got much better…

do has i did, change yourself, go to the gym, go out with your buddies, grab some chicks, dont stay at home doing nothing, that will only make you feel worse…

I've been a loner all my life. I've been a pessimist, and I have struggled constantly with suicidal thoughts. The worst time of my life was in high school where I struggled constantly with thoughts of suicide because of a rough childhood and because of bullying and things of that nature.

I guess for me the most important thing was writing something down. It took me three weeks to a month of constantly being depressed to get everything written down, but it helped me cope with my problems. I wrote about each family member individually, each person who was important in my life, individually, and I wrote about my own history. When I finished typing it up on word I ended up with something that was 36 pages long.

Now when I feel as if the walls are closing in, I go open up that document and read one of the parts that makes me happy. I read about me and my brother fighting, or me, my brother, my sister, and my dad all going four wheeler riding.

When I need to snap back to reality, I go and read something a little more depressing. I go and read about how my first love screwed me around for 6 months and made my life miserable. I go and think about how much better off I am not than I was then, even if my mental state says that I am not any better off.

Above all, when I really don't feel anything, I do the one thing I can think of that makes me feel scared and great. I go get on my four wheeler and go race across a field at 70 to 80 MPH just to let myself know, I am alive and I still fear death.

Exercise !
whether you may or may not already, Exercise is a great contribute to any roles during the night and day your body plays.
as far as i've read about all this partying, its probably best to give it a break until springbreak! or any holidays you get.
possibly stay away from computers more often too haha

:) my first post -

From: koo29
The answer is God. I know this sounds really silly but being in a relationship with him is what he designed us for. I have no clue if you even believe he exists, most people do. Knowing that he might be out there and actually being in community with fellow believers and having someone always there for you (God) is very comforting.
I'm not expecting you to actually take my advise because the "Christian life" might seem very boring and full of rules you have to follow. These rules are to protect us and if you really do walk with God (relying on him daily), your life will be forever changed. Living as a Christian is not easy. People will call you ignorant for not believing in evolution, you will be made fun of sometimes, your old friends want you back with them.
But what you gain is so worth it. You don't need to rely on yourself anymore, God WILL help you get through your struggles by using other people in your life and sometimes by acts that seem like miracles. God created us and only by putting your faith in him you will feel satisfied forever If you have any questions, feel free to drop me a pm :)

Wow that might be one of the worsts posts I have ever read on this forum, please keep your opinions to yourself.

From: FifthDimension
Wow that might be one of the worsts posts I have ever read on this forum, please get your nutty christian ass off SRL, or at least keep your opinions to yourself.

Don't be an Mean, if he finds a christian belief to give him a better life and support he needs then that is HIS choice and HIS advice to the OP who clearly is seeking for help. I know many people who find god is the answer to being happy, there's nothing wrong with that. I personally have been in the same position as most are saying here and to keep it short and sweet you gotta find something to do other than computing, whether it be a run in the morning to get you up and out of bed into a routine, or get a dog/puppy.. something to keep you occupied and make you get out for a walk, you'd be amazed how it can change your current lifestyle. All the best!

From: FifthDimension
Wow that might be one of the worsts posts I have ever read on this forum, please get your nutty christian ass off SRL, or at least keep your opinions to yourself.

But for real, THIS is the worst post I've seen for a long time. Your behaviour is ignorant and childish.

@koo27
I would SO like to argue with you about life, God and religion :P
(I am atheist and I laugh about people like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpRbtq2e0S0
But I respect people and their religion :)
Maybe start another thread about it?

@topic
As mentioned, exercise :)

Same here, I have read most of the advices and I am also thankful to them.(also for the others in the same shoo too, always feels warm when you know you are not alone :), even tho you know it's also bad for the other :/)

I have another problem too that I will share because I won't feel judged that I am doing it here in an internet community.
So I am 21, had no girlfriend. But I would like to have one, to talk to her, hugs, etc.
The problem is I never really made myself an opportunity. In high school and now in university too we have(had) non or a very few girls. Then the other thing is that I hate drinking alcohol, and 105% of the parties here are about getting drunk, so I just don't go to "party" because that's not entertaining for me.
Also I am shy.
Oh, it's not about me hijacking the thread, I am not here for seeking answers, it just felt good to write it down even if nobody really cares(maybe that's part of the reason).

Hey man, attitude is everything! If you always stay positive about everything in life, something good is bound to happen :)

Bump.

Went to some counseling thing at school, explained my problems and all, but the lady wasn't really of much help. I mean I know all I can really do is get motivated, and help myself get better, there's not much else someone else can do. But I thought talking to counselor would make me feel better/they could help be get better, but it was just meh :/. She kinda just asked what was wrong, ask me to wonder why they were wrong, was I interested in my studies, why am I not motivated, what motivates me, etc etc and I feel like It didn't go anywhere much and I came out feeling no better. I plan to go back and have an appointment with another one instead.

Still not doing so well.
Final exams this week. Not going well.
I'll be all done with school tomorrow, going to try enjoy my summer break and totally forget about the past quarter.
Going to TRY and work out in the summer, and try to fix myself next quarter.

More advice or kind words or people in same situation etc comments would be nice.
Even if you have already said it/are going to paraphrase, it nice to see the support and everything. (Don't just post to post to make me happy though :p)

Don't listen to me, I'm an ass, but here's what you have to do:

Break the cycle. (And no, suicide isn't an option.) Neither are pills, you don't need to trade 1 addiction for the next, or kill depression with an addiction, FFS. Go talk to people you can be real with, face to face. You gotta be able to share your thoughts and emotions. People who will listen. If your parents, friends etc. aren't real enough, or you are afraid of saying something that will come back to bite you in the ass, try a 12 step group. I wouldn't suggest AA unless alcohol is your main problem. I do Co-dependents Anonymous, those people will take anyone.

You have to find people who will take you no matter how fucked up you are/ feel you are. Also, avoid the hypocrites. Also, here's the big one, gotta find forgiveness. Life is shit sometimes, (a LOT of the time) only way to make it through is find how forgiveness works. And people without issues/ totally fake don't understand forgiveness. Gotta find the people who are screwed up and trying to get better to be encouraged to forgive your own shit.

Sorry if that didn't make sense.

Hmm, similar story. Way worse in this end.

I've been going to see a counselor for a few weeks now. I see him about once sometimes twice a week. I've had many before, but this is the first one I've actually liked, and the first that seems to understand and actually care, unlike the rest that really hate their job and cannot wait for you to finish bitching.

My advice, go to many untill you find one you click with. Dont be shy or feel bad about not continuing with someone you dont like. Take your time.

Wish you the best.

EDIT: If you find someone online that you can talk to, is the same as having a counselor, but sometimes more beneficial. People have been through hell and back and there are always those willing to lend an ear and help. Trust me.

Hey YoHoJo, I came across this thread and found it interesting. If you don't mind, could you tell me what year of college you just finished up?

I find this interesting because just today (I suppose yesterday - I'm slightly nocturnal) one of the paragons of excellence from my high school that I just graduated committed suicide. Needless to say, the whole community from where I'm from is in a bunch of turmoil over the individual. He just finished his freshman year in college.

I didn't read the entire thread, as I was pretty eager to reply, but if you don't mind answering another question, keep reading. I was curious as to what you see as your biggest LACK of motivation?

The guy who committed suicide - I never would have expected it. Nobody knows why. I think understanding WHY is one of the biggest steps in solving these problems.

I'm not suggesting that you're contemplating suicide, but I just want you to know there's always a better, living way out of things. If you're ever in a spot of trouble as severe as that, give anyone a holler. You gotta talk things through with other people.

I guess I'm just a little shocked from my own hometown experiences. Anyway, there's always motivation. I know your dilemma. I'm there. But I have my girlfriend to motivate me. She's the most wonderful person ever! I know my next year in college is going to be difficult because we will be in different places, but I'm willing to work through that.

Come on, there's work to do!

Wow. i feel like i just wrote that myself. Obviously you have plenty support in your life between family and friends which will always make things better in the end. Life is what YOU make it.

Hey YoHo,

I'm not sure how much you actually play RS, but I'd advise to get away from it and take a break from the forums and your computer all-together. You might not realize it, but it really does consume a lot of your life. I basically up and quit my computer "life" cold turkey a few years ago. Just get away for a year or so and find new things to do.

Not that this is great advice, but start drinking more haha. Pregame the football games with friends, go out to the bars, etc. Get a social life, it really is a blast and you'll eventually get just as addicted to hanging out with friends as you are with being on the computer. Eventually RS, SRL, and whatever else you do on the computer will just be a thought in the back of your mind.

As for school and studying. That's just college man, there's people that study every day and there's people that cram 2 days before a final. Personally I cram 2-3 days before and I've managed to keep a ~3.6 GPA with an engineering major. I go out to the bars or something of the sort at least 3-4 nights a week though and have a blast.

Just get out and start being social. Join some clubs, etc… It will be painful and not much fun at first, but just give it a shot and you'll come around to it eventually. College is just as much about the social experience as it is studying.

I'm always a private message away if you need to talk.
Best of luck to you old friend!

Edit: Just curious, what college do you go to?

The word I would attach to how you feel is "uninspired," a lot of people go through that, might I suggest trying something new, anything at all, something just to get you out of this funk. It's all about breaking the routine, so even though school is supposed to be more important at this point, I read one of the comments earlier and agree, go out on a friday night, find something to do, recover saturday, and do your studying sunday. Other than that things like this can have simple solutions, order a book of something you're not familiar with. My suggestion would be the Dhammapada which is essentially the bible to Buddhism, and what's great about it is you can pick out a random page and just ponder whats on that page meaning you don't have to dedicate a large amount of time to it. Another simple solution is just try a new hobby. Go for a bike ride or something to clear head. What might also work (and this might seem counter-intuitive because obviously this is something you love to do) but just take a hiatus from anything dealing with your computer. I'm assuming you're some sort of programming major and I've seen people take a break from something they love and when they come back to it they attack it with 10 times more passion than they had when they quit.

Hope that could help in anyway, I'll be brainstorming more things through-out the day.