SRL Archive - Discussions & Debates

So today I went to Quizno's for dinner with my family, my dad ordered our food, and then my mom goes to get out her debit card, and she didn't have it - she left it at home. In the middle of us making our order, these two guys who I'd guess were around 19 or 20 came in. When my mom started to explain to the cashier (he owned the place it looked like) that we didn't have our card, one of the two guys offered to pay our bill. My mom started to refuse and say it wasn't necessary, but my dad told her not to look a gift horse in the mouth and asked the guy for his name and said thanks, etc. etc. It was really embarrassing and at first i didn't want to eat, but my dad told me humility is good for you and to just eat the food.

This wouldn't have happened where i lived until i was 7 or 8. It got me wondering if this only happens in places like Irvine (google it - this city has an amazing safety record, and everyone who lives here has an awesome personality.) where i live, or if things like this happen everywhere. So would this possibly happen to you where you live, and if it did would you allow them to pay for your dinner?

I'm honestly not sure if it would happen where I live. I live in Greenville SC. Personally, I would do this to someone if I had the money. In my opinion, people like this are rare but great. I understand the embarrassment factor but you shouldn't care about others opinions.
There's only one life in the world: Yours.

Ahh, altruism.

Altruism is usually a counterargument for survival of the fittest and a lot of stuff. But to me it's quite silly to say that it's a counterargument.

Here's my argument for why things are altruistic by nature (this is a VERY basic summary; if you care to know more I would love to tell you ;)):

By me being helpful and kind to others, it shows to women that I am helpful and kind (two very important attributes to raising children, which is very important when women look for mates, subconsciously and consciously). That is good for me because my evolutionary goal is to pass on my DNA and my name.

Example: I give $100 to charity and a cute (healthy and young, around my age with well developed breasts, a high pitched voice, blue eyes (it's actually much more common for men to be attracted to blue eyes as it's much more easy to see if pupils are dilated, which happens when humans are excited), etc. etc.) girl sees me giving in my donation. Later she sees me helping an elderly couple with directions. Did I do this specifically for the girl if I never saw her? No. I didn't know even know she existed. However, I subconsciously knew that if I were to be seen doing those things or talked about doing those things or if I brought it up later, I would be slightly more likely to be chosen as a mate.

Hopefully that cute girl would say something to me, is the point of the cute girl. :p

Another quick example is if I help my friend, Ryan, find his Frisbee and he tells someone, and they tell someone, etc. etc. until a girl hears, I will be deemed slightly more caring and helpful, and hopefully I will mate.

I, however, am a very strong believer that life is very simplistic in itself. We have two goals; to survive and to pass on our DNA. Everything men do is specifically to mate. I don't believe that any idea, action, or opinion is our own, either; we are all influenced by everything else besides ourselves.

I'm stating that simply because I don't want you to think that's just how it is. It is quite excepted from what I've read, but it is a theory, and you may oppose it as you wish.

that was an interesting read.
Unless the guy was a cougar hunter, he wasn't going after my mom as it was only my family, the cashier, the cook, and the 2 guys in the place.
but that's besides your point - I've actually read about what you said before, and i must say i do agree with what you said.

It's not just the people there. He may have said something to someone, or his friend may have said something to someone. It's more of a cautious thing, I guess. If you have the chance, you wanna take it. Really no reason not to. If all goes as planned, you mate. If not, you didn't lose anything, really.

Stuff costs to much money to give money away. But I don't mind helping people. I actually like helping people.

As far as random acts of kindness, all you have to do is keep a eye open. As long as you count the little things I am sure you would find there are lots of random acts of kindness.

Random acts of kindness are good, but only when they are indeed random acts of kindness, what I see for the most part these days is like the example stated by 'I luffs yeww', except the guy doing the "random act of kindness" solely because the girl was there, therefore seeking some kind of reward from the act.

I personally believe in karma, what comes around goes around. I personally commit many random acts of kindness, simply because it opens many new opportunities which were unavailable to you before; but some people commit these acts in hopes of receiving some fortune (or something to that extent out of them) and it's something completely wrong.

The reason it's wrong is that because many of the times, something that they expected won't come true, or simply remain invisible or imperceivable to them, which will leave the person being bitter; now on the other hand if the act was indeed random act of kindness the person will think nothing of it, if anyone doesn't notice it will still bring the happiness, and if it does indeed bring them opportunities they won't block them by being bitter although the opportunity was invisible to them until it actually came.

From: i luffs yeww
Ahh, altruism.

Altruism is usually a counterargument for survival of the fittest and a lot of stuff. But to me it's quite silly to say that it's a counterargument.

Here's my argument for why things are altruistic by nature (this is a VERY basic summary; if you care to know more I would love to tell you ;)):

By me being helpful and kind to others, it shows to women that I am helpful and kind (two very important attributes to raising children, which is very important when women look for mates, subconsciously and consciously). That is good for me because my evolutionary goal is to pass on my DNA and my name.

Example: I give $100 to charity and a cute (healthy and young, around my age with well developed breasts, a high pitched voice, blue eyes (it's actually much more common for men to be attracted to blue eyes as it's much more easy to see if pupils are dilated, which happens when humans are excited), etc. etc.) girl sees me giving in my donation. Later she sees me helping an elderly couple with directions. Did I do this specifically for the girl if I never saw her? No. I didn't know even know she existed. However, I subconsciously knew that if I were to be seen doing those things or talked about doing those things or if I brought it up later, I would be slightly more likely to be chosen as a mate.

Hopefully that cute girl would say something to me, is the point of the cute girl. :p

Another quick example is if I help my friend, Ryan, find his Frisbee and he tells someone, and they tell someone, etc. etc. until a girl hears, I will be deemed slightly more caring and helpful, and hopefully I will mate.

I, however, am a very strong believer that life is very simplistic in itself. We have two goals; to survive and to pass on our DNA. Everything men do is specifically to mate. I don't believe that any idea, action, or opinion is our own, either; we are all influenced by everything else besides ourselves.

I'm stating that simply because I don't want you to think that's just how it is. It is quite excepted from what I've read, but it is a theory, and you may oppose it as you wish.

Fun read, and I agree as well.


For further reading from things I've gathered:
In my bio class, we talked about how Altruism may even help someone who may help us down the road, thus benefiting the helper potentially as well.

Some say that it will allow for the species it is helping to survive as well. What I was told is that if there is a few lions chasing some deer, a weak dear may try and stop the lions so that only it dies instead of the other ones (rather than all getting eaten).
Of course I forget the tale of this, sort of a while ago :p

From: cstrike
Fun read, and I agree as well.


For further reading from things I've gathered:
In my bio class, we talked about how Altruism may even help someone who may help us down the road, thus benefiting the helper potentially as well.

Some say that it will allow for the species it is helping to survive as well. What I was told is that if there is a few lions chasing some deer, a weak dear may try and stop the lions so that only it dies instead of the other ones (rather than all getting eaten).
Of course I forget the tale of this, sort of a while ago :p

isn't that martyrdom?

From: lordsaturn
isn't that martyrdom?

It's not martyrdom when it advances society!
;)
jk it's only martyrdom for deers

@Feroc1ty, Karma is essentially altruism. ;)

@cstrike, some birds, when they are alone or separated from others, will make noises when predators come, both to warn the group and to sacrifice itself. If, however, it doesn't die, it will almost 100% mate because of it. Similar to humans.

Gotta gamble sometimes.

The problem around where I live lately is that they invited someone to talk about Columbine at my town. And they talked about that "first" girl who died and how she was supposedly some saint who just wanted everyone to do "random acts of kindness" (which is where I thought you were going with this incidentally). So lately, if you do anything kind to someone else who heard about it or saw it, its like "oh hey! random act of kindness! i get why you are doing that! *wink*". So it defeats the point of random kindness because it's now planned and such.

And as…well whatever my town could be described as…is I doubt any random guy in subway would pay for my sub. I probably wouldn't pay for someone's sub without prompting from those people. You would probably have to directly ask whoever it was and even then it would be hit or miss (not that anyone would actually stoop to ask someone).

Moral of the story - don't quantify random acts of kindness because it loses its point and if you need money to pay for something either quickly run out or ask someone if they could help you out.

From: Feroc1ty
Random acts of kindness are good, but only when they are indeed random acts of kindness, what I see for the most part these days is like the example stated by 'I luffs yeww', except the guy doing the "random act of kindness" solely because the girl was there, therefore seeking some kind of reward from the act.

I personally believe in karma, what comes around goes around. I personally commit many random acts of kindness, simply because it opens many new opportunities which were unavailable to you before; but some people commit these acts in hopes of receiving some fortune (or something to that extent out of them) and it's something completely wrong.

The reason it's wrong is that because many of the times, something that they expected won't come true, or simply remain invisible or imperceivable to them, which will leave the person being bitter; now on the other hand if the act was indeed random act of kindness the person will think nothing of it, if anyone doesn't notice it will still bring the happiness, and if it does indeed bring them opportunities they won't block them by being bitter although the opportunity was invisible to them until it actually came.

Isn't doing good things while believing in karma also a reward system? Only differences are being watched and rewarded by an invisible force instead of a cute girl (or a chain of people leading to a cute girl), and having a longer expectation of reward time frame.

From: Boreas
Isn't doing good things while believing in karma also a reward system? Only differences are being watched and rewarded by an invisible force instead of a cute girl (or a chain of people leading to a cute girl), and having a longer expectation of reward time frame.

To each their own; but most don't expect the random girl to be anything more than a random girl (unless she becomes someone you know at that particular time-frame), who they will most likely never meet again.

Besides, if you're doing that "random" act of kindness because of the presence of the girl, than it's not "random," and she'll believe you to be someone you're not.

From: Feroc1ty
To each their own; but most don't expect the random girl to be anything more than a random girl (unless she becomes someone you know at that particular time-frame), who they will most likely never meet again.

Besides, if you're doing that "random" act of kindness because of the presence of the girl, than it's not "random," and she'll believe you to be someone you're not.

Karma means doing good things will bring good things (in varying degrees of indirectness). Knowing this and believing in karma while doing good things, means you expect good things to happen (you don't know what or even when, but believe the appropriate thing will happen eventually). Because of this expectation, that random act is not so random. Granted, the girl case is expecting/hoping for a much more specific reward, but in the karma case expecting anything at all is still not completely random.

From: Boreas
Karma means doing good things will bring good things (in varying degrees of indirectness). Knowing this and believing in karma while doing good things, means you expect good things to happen (you don't know what or even when, but believe the appropriate thing will happen eventually). Because of this expectation, that random act is not so random. Granted, the girl case is expecting/hoping for a much more specific reward, but in the karma case expecting anything at all is still not completely random.

Touché, but my point was that believing in karma you don't really even think about the rewards it might bring; which builds character rather than a false facade.

From: Feroc1ty
Touché, but my point was that believing in karma you don't really even think about the rewards it might bring; which builds character rather than a false facade.

How is it a false facade if either way your doing good? Do intentions really matter to the ones you help?

From: mormonman
How is it a false facade if either way your doing good? Do intentions really matter to the ones you help?

That's up to you to decide, but my opinion was clearly stated.

From: Feroc1ty
Touché, but my point was that believing in karma you don't really even think about the rewards it might bring; which builds character rather than a false facade.

So actively thinking about rewards affects the 'randomness' but believing in the back of your mind that they will come eventually does not affect it?

Feroc1ty -
As long as the deed is done, why does it matter what you hope for? Why do you think one of the Boy Scouts' things is to "do a good turn daily?" They do this because of the possibility of by helping someone, there will be more good in the community - and eventually, through a chain reaction of small kind deeds, sparked off by a few, the entire community is bettered.

Looking at this in the same terms as the rest of the thread, even if some guy wants to look like a nice person in front of some cute girl, the same effect happens, even if it wasn't their intention.

^^ The Good Earth…


Also, in my hometown I do see the sort sometimes. Although the whole town is strong willed and stubborn. They don't really like to feel like they should owe anyone anything, so sometimes they refuse to accept because they think it is being done for an ulterior motive. Sometimes it is done with a plan in mind. That just is sickening.

What I have seen before, which I find really random act of kindness, is when someone does something without it needing to be done. Example being if you were out eating and somebody you didn't know insisted on paying for you and your mom hadn't left her card at home.

Doing an act of kindness makes the heart feel good no matter who you are. Your father sounds like a smart man Tom :).

I'm always nice to everyone I meet and I help in anyway I can I like the feeling of accomplishment I get when I help somebody out :). I'm from Portland, OR it has a big population you can find a lot of kindness in it.

I'm always nice to everyone I meet

lies.

I try to do nice things. I always pick up trash around campus. Help people out understanding concepts in class whenever I can. I've bought some random strangers meals at the school cafe before. Give a buck or two to the guy in front of me that has seemed to come up short on cash. etc etc.
I know the world sucks, and that it feels great to have a stranger help you out. So I try to do it when I can.

From: Aleks
I'm from Portland, OR it has a big population you can find a lot of kindness in it.

:o I live in Beaverton/Tigard.

From: TomTuff
They do this because of the possibility of by helping someone, there will be more good in the community - and eventually, through a chain reaction of small kind deeds, sparked off by a few, the entire community is bettered.

This is where it goes spiritual/biological ;)

I always wondered if
a) Doing good things feel good because at a spiritual level it aims towards the greater good, assuming there is an afterlife [and hopefully assuming all organized religions are also wrong if there is an afterlife or were done for].

b) Doing good things for others is actually selfish because we assume that it will end up coming back to us, sort of like a debt paid and the reward is coming.

Sometimes I really hope the kindness I do is A) and not B), but sometimes I feel it just is B)

Therefore, makes me wonder if random acts of kindness have an ulterior motive of selfishness?

From: cstrike
Therefore, makes me wonder if random acts of kindness have an ulterior motive of selfishness?

Yes, there's an ulterior motive, and yes, it's a selfish one - but it's selfish for the species, ultimately.

Dude, I live in NYC. The cashier at the bodega across from my school wouldn't sell me a pen because I was a dime short.

Also, no one allows you to use their restroom (stores).

yes, my mom does this.

she randomly pays for a meal for the person behind us or something, she says its good karma.

This is honestly not to uncommon where i come from O.O

From: TomTuff
So today I went to Quizno's for dinner with my family, my dad ordered our food, and then my mom goes to get out her debit card, and she didn't have it - she left it at home. In the middle of us making our order, these two guys who I'd guess were around 19 or 20 came in. When my mom started to explain to the cashier (he owned the place it looked like) that we didn't have our card, one of the two guys offered to pay our bill. My mom started to refuse and say it wasn't necessary, but my dad told her not to look a gift horse in the mouth and asked the guy for his name and said thanks, etc. etc. It was really embarrassing and at first i didn't want to eat, but my dad told me humility is good for you and to just eat the food.

This wouldn't have happened where i lived until i was 7 or 8. It got me wondering if this only happens in places like Irvine (google it - this city has an amazing safety record, and everyone who lives here has an awesome personality.) where i live, or if things like this happen everywhere. So would this possibly happen to you where you live, and if it did would you allow them to pay for your dinner?

Off topic but my goal is to get accepted into UC Irvine =]. I'm applying for most UCs. College apps are due Nov31st too.

From: 1337mining
Off topic but my goal is to get accepted into UC Irvine =]. I'm applying for most UCs. College apps are due Nov31st too.

Where do you live?

From: TomTuff
Where do you live?

Union City, California.
It's norcal =P. 30minutes away from San Francisco

From: 1337mining
Union City, California.
It's norcal =P. 30minutes away from San Francisco

Ohhh ok. so you're a senior as of now? I'm probably gonna go to UCI we should meet up in 3 years x] (I'm a sophomore)

From: TomTuff
Ohhh ok. so you're a senior as of now? I'm probably gonna go to UCI we should meet up in 3 years x] (I'm a sophomore)

Lol nice =]. And you're a pro scripter? Amazinggg. What do you plan on majoring in?

From: 1337mining
Lol nice =]. And you're a pro scripter? Amazinggg. What do you plan on majoring in?

I wouldn't say pro… :blushing:

Computer programming

From: TomTuff
I wouldn't say pro… :blushing:

Computer programming

Ohh, I plan on majoring in Biochemistry to become a pharmacist. We should talk more. Do you use FB or AIM or MSN?

From: 1337mining
Ohh, I plan on majoring in Biochemistry to become a pharmacist. We should talk more. Do you use FB or AIM or MSN?

all of the above :p

[email]tommyk1995@gmail.com[/email] <- msn, add me