SRL Archive - English/L.O.T.E

i really need help, the quarter ends next week and she said i will fail if i dont finish this, ive turned it in 3 times, and she keeps saying i need a concluding paragraph, please help, will do almost anything if someone helps.

The Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill








Patrick Rollmann

Mrs. Abbott

English 10

September 29, 2010

An estimated 210,000 gallons spilled into the ocean of the Gulf of Mexico every day. This massive oil spill has cost BP roughly eight billion dollars in clean up and other costs. BP is current in lawsuits from businesses (mostly fishing businesses) where people’s lives were affected greatly. BP also faces a compensation bill from the state of Louisiana for one hundred and forty eight million dollars (“Keep spill on radar”)

Eleven workers died on the rig when the oil spill happened, the biggest spill in U.S history. The oil spill has impacted so much, but also much less then people anticipated. This oil spill has caused many animals to be covered and oil and some have even died from this. The oil from the oil spill got as far as Florida and almost completely ruined Louisiana’s economy. What originally caused this oil spill is for a pipe to bust about 2 miles underwater and because it was so freezing cold the pipe randomly burst because it was so cold.

Out of all of the places that were affected by this oil spill Louisiana was hit the hardest. There whole state lost their whole economy and lost even more jobs because of this oil spill, and they are regaining slowly, to try and ease the pain and suffering of Louisiana. BP has supplied the state with approximately one hundred and forty eight million dollars. Though this will not help out as much as still having there gulf back, this will help compensate for what exactly happened. President Barrack Obama had help from outside countries with this oil spill, and he denied it. The University of Georgia has detected patches of a two-inch layer of oil on the Gulf floor, which is killing off shrimp and other small marine life(“Big Spill, Little Damage?”). The reason why president Barrack Obama did not accept help from outside countries was an honor thing, he has too much pride in his country to let other countries help him with a problem his country did.

To prevent an oil spill like this from happening again I think one solution would to be not to do offshore drilling. This would be a major factor to help stop this because if the same thing happens again and another pipe breaks then the whole ocean can be at stake. What they could do alternatively is when they find an extremely good area out in the ocean is to make land around the spot that they have in mind, so if that there is possibly an oil spill that it would be extremely easier to clean up. What they could alternatively do is just completely rule out offshore drilling, and to help out with that a law should be made against it because of what has happened.










“The BP Well Is Dead. Long Live Lessons from the Gulf Oil Spill.” The Christian Science Monitor.
20 Sept. 2010: n. pag. Global Issues in Context. Web. 23 Sept. 2010.
Grunwald, Michael. “Big Spill, Little Damage?” Time 9 Aug. 2010: n. pag. Global Issues in Context.
Web. 28 Sept. 2010.
“Keep Spill on Radar.” The St. Petersburg Times [St.Petersburg] 21 Sept. 2010: 8A. Web Wall,
Emma. “Macondo Well Is Declared ‘Effectively Dead.’” Daily Telegraph [London] 20
Sept. 2010: 3, Global Issues in Context. Web. 21 Sept. 2010.

What grade are you in? :x

I'd work on it but I'd basically rewrite the whole thing to be about five pages..

10th sir, and all i need is like 2 paragraphs. but most importantly a concluding paragraph. and yes, i am very bad at writing essays and stuff, dont remind me of this.

3rd*

What I like to do for a concluding paragraph is to say,

"Based on my findings, I can say that ———bla blah—-"

Ofcourse your Conlusion should relate to your thesis (introduction)

One generally wants to avoid first person in an essay.

already turned it in, turned it in 4 times, she was actually a really great teacher, she kept on correcting me on what was wrong with it until i got it right, but thanks anyways guys.

From: i luffs yeww
One generally wants to avoid first person in an essay.

That's not true. Second person should be avoided, but first person is perfectly acceptable. However making a statement such as, "I believe…" should generally be avoided. It should be obvious that one is stating his own opinion in a paper. Saying "I believe candy is delicious" is a little redundant and not as confident as writing, "Candy is delicious."

Edit: What I said was in reference to Language Arts/English papers. Sciences and historical essays have less practical use for first person and because of that, it is best to avoid it in those papers.

From: bbri06
That's not true. Second person should be avoided, but first person is perfectly acceptable. However making a statement such as, "I believe…" should generally be avoided. It should be obvious that one is stating his own opinion in a paper. Saying "I believe candy is delicious" is a little redundant and not as confident as writing, "Candy is delicious."

Edit: What I said was in reference to Language Arts/English papers. Sciences and historical essays have less practical use for first person and because of that, it is best to avoid it in those papers.

Also anything that has to do with "IMO or I think that" doesn't really support true affirmative action of a phrase. So it's best to be the most direct and blunt about an item. Don't beat around the bush.

/end engrish hint of day

That's a good general tip. No beating around the bush :P

@OP: One of the best tips I will give you, and something that saved me and will save you:

Use transitions.

So simple, yet such a pain at times.
Read the first sentence:
An estimated 210,000 gallons spilled into the ocean of the Gulf of Mexico every day.
Then on the next sentence it's almost disjointed from the first. I feel like you started a brand new sub topic in the topic itself. Also, make sure your introductions are solid. While this is a complete thing technically, if your intro sucks people will hate reading it.