SRL Archive - Blogs and Writing

OK so i give an award speech tomm and it has to be about a person and has to be at least a minute

that it


here the speech

http://docs.google.com/View?id=ddtw92sh_174dq26cttb

ok i enjoyed reading it, but it seems rather… random.

in the beginning you talk about how she likes Mac and Cheese, etc. but why? Yes it is nice to know a little bit of facts about the person, but you dont need to know what they will be doing this summer. sounds like ur a stalker or something :) lol. If she was getting the "Mac and Cheese Fan of the Year" award, i would understand why u put that in then :)

there are a few spelling errors and such, just read it out loud and i am sure you will fix a couple of em :)

this speech should be completely about the award (and anything that the winner has that RELATES to the award). I liked how you put the background for the award in there, and how you put the requirements that one must have, but why does she get it? because she likes Mac n Cheese? What about the others that fulfilled those requirements? You need to share WHY she is getting this award -why she was chosen above all else for it.

Good luck with this speech! :)

^^ about the nifo part the teacher said that the facts can be random cause this is just kinda a fun speech

oh ok :) well definitely look at the last paragraph i wrote, because it is unclear as to why she deserves it over others. :) And putting something in that shows why she is getting it would make her feel better about her accomplishment (because you would pretty much gloat about the hard work or awards or w/e that she has) , and it would make the speech sound better.