Sir R. M8gic1an
2009-12-17 07:18:47
Jealousy has been explored and researched through the centuries.
What is it? How does it affect our daily lives? I ask myself…
"Romantic jealousy is here defined as a complex of thoughts, feelings, and actions which follow threats to self-esteemand/or threats to the existence or quality of the relationship, whenthose threats are generated by the perception of a real or potential attraction between one's partner and a (perhaps imaginary) rival."
So is it just during relationships? What is meant by a relationship? A threat to the existence or quality…
The existence of the relationship… what about the existence of the possibility of a relationship? Is it possible to feel jealous over something you don't have? Wouldn't that be envy?
Envy "occurs when a person lacks another's (perceived) superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it."
But human behaviour can get so much more complicated…
What if it is a threat to the existence of the other person's feelings towards you? Or does this estabilish some kind of relationhip? Or the perception of one?
So if you aren't in a relationship, but still do not want the other person to have feelings for someone else, do you love this person? Are you jealous or just envious?
Or is it still a relationship? Although you do not share the physical actions with the person anymore, is it still a relations game where you're still playing? The relationship is still going on, only at a completly different level?
"jealousy is always born with love; it does not always die with it." So what does it mean? You no longer love but still want the other person?
When in love nothing matters, mistakes are forgiven, forgotten and over-looked. When loving all mistakes are a knife to the heart.
So what if you're in love and loving? Does it hurt but you overcome it? Wouldn't you do that if you just loved anyway?
But what is love? No one can be forced or force themselves into being in love, nor getting over it. But to love someone?
Couples have gotten married without ever knowing each other and grown to love. You love your friends. You love your parents, your siblings. So you can grown to love someone.
And if love is one of the strongest emotions ever, it only seems fit that hate be the opposite of love. But is it really?
Is hate not just resentful love? If you hate, you love, because the feeling is too intense to not be a sort of love.
Could you ever hate a complete stranger? No; You might dislike him or her due to your own personal stereotypes; But you can hate a former lover. You can only hate those who were a big part of your life, those who have a place in your heart.
And when someone conquers a place, does it ever really go away? If walking down the street ten years later you bump into one of your ex's how would you feel? Run from them? Be awkward? Immediately kick off with a great conversation?
When you shared something so deep with someone, why would you not share more? You once trusted this person to handle your secrets, your fears. Are you affraid they will mishandle them now, or are you glad to share them as you know this person will only want the best for you as you left them memories to remember?
So what is love? The complete acceptance of another, faults and qualities? And what do you do about the faults? Attempt to help the other person improve them, or just deal with them?
If you attempt to help the other person, are you accepting them? Or trying to change them so they'll suit you? And is this a selfish or a selfless act?
What about being in love? Is it a feeling of extra good? Dizzy thoughts? The complete want of just holding the other person? Is it a bubble? Or does being in love get you into a bubble?
And when this bubble bursts, what do you find yourself with? Love?
And can you be in love with a friend? Love your friend so much you crave for their company?
But if you can be in love and love a friend, what makes it a couple? The exclusivity of emotions is definitely not it, as you share love amongst several people. It is not the sexual acts, as they alone do not make a couple. Is it trust? You trust others as well tho.
So what really is a couple? Is it a mixture of feelings, trust, the sharing?
Or… is it the fact that you know you can rely on the other person. Would this not be the most rewarding thing? You know you have someone to rely on, and so does the other person?
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs estabilishes priorities to achieve in life, and you can not move up to the upper step of the hierarchy without having first fullfilled those below. First comes Breathing, water, food, sex, sleep, homeostasis and excretion. The next level includes security of body, employment, resources, morality, family, health and propriety. Further up come the levels of Love, Esteem and Self-Actualization.
So what is love? The completion to these levels that whomever it may be brings you. The more the other person completes you, the more love you feel towards them. The more you complete them, the more they love you.
And so, love, is the completion of one another.
~RM
What is it? How does it affect our daily lives? I ask myself…
"Romantic jealousy is here defined as a complex of thoughts, feelings, and actions which follow threats to self-esteemand/or threats to the existence or quality of the relationship, whenthose threats are generated by the perception of a real or potential attraction between one's partner and a (perhaps imaginary) rival."
So is it just during relationships? What is meant by a relationship? A threat to the existence or quality…
The existence of the relationship… what about the existence of the possibility of a relationship? Is it possible to feel jealous over something you don't have? Wouldn't that be envy?
Envy "occurs when a person lacks another's (perceived) superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it."
But human behaviour can get so much more complicated…
What if it is a threat to the existence of the other person's feelings towards you? Or does this estabilish some kind of relationhip? Or the perception of one?
So if you aren't in a relationship, but still do not want the other person to have feelings for someone else, do you love this person? Are you jealous or just envious?
Or is it still a relationship? Although you do not share the physical actions with the person anymore, is it still a relations game where you're still playing? The relationship is still going on, only at a completly different level?
"jealousy is always born with love; it does not always die with it." So what does it mean? You no longer love but still want the other person?
When in love nothing matters, mistakes are forgiven, forgotten and over-looked. When loving all mistakes are a knife to the heart.
So what if you're in love and loving? Does it hurt but you overcome it? Wouldn't you do that if you just loved anyway?
But what is love? No one can be forced or force themselves into being in love, nor getting over it. But to love someone?
Couples have gotten married without ever knowing each other and grown to love. You love your friends. You love your parents, your siblings. So you can grown to love someone.
And if love is one of the strongest emotions ever, it only seems fit that hate be the opposite of love. But is it really?
Is hate not just resentful love? If you hate, you love, because the feeling is too intense to not be a sort of love.
Could you ever hate a complete stranger? No; You might dislike him or her due to your own personal stereotypes; But you can hate a former lover. You can only hate those who were a big part of your life, those who have a place in your heart.
And when someone conquers a place, does it ever really go away? If walking down the street ten years later you bump into one of your ex's how would you feel? Run from them? Be awkward? Immediately kick off with a great conversation?
When you shared something so deep with someone, why would you not share more? You once trusted this person to handle your secrets, your fears. Are you affraid they will mishandle them now, or are you glad to share them as you know this person will only want the best for you as you left them memories to remember?
So what is love? The complete acceptance of another, faults and qualities? And what do you do about the faults? Attempt to help the other person improve them, or just deal with them?
If you attempt to help the other person, are you accepting them? Or trying to change them so they'll suit you? And is this a selfish or a selfless act?
What about being in love? Is it a feeling of extra good? Dizzy thoughts? The complete want of just holding the other person? Is it a bubble? Or does being in love get you into a bubble?
And when this bubble bursts, what do you find yourself with? Love?
And can you be in love with a friend? Love your friend so much you crave for their company?
But if you can be in love and love a friend, what makes it a couple? The exclusivity of emotions is definitely not it, as you share love amongst several people. It is not the sexual acts, as they alone do not make a couple. Is it trust? You trust others as well tho.
So what really is a couple? Is it a mixture of feelings, trust, the sharing?
Or… is it the fact that you know you can rely on the other person. Would this not be the most rewarding thing? You know you have someone to rely on, and so does the other person?
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs estabilishes priorities to achieve in life, and you can not move up to the upper step of the hierarchy without having first fullfilled those below. First comes Breathing, water, food, sex, sleep, homeostasis and excretion. The next level includes security of body, employment, resources, morality, family, health and propriety. Further up come the levels of Love, Esteem and Self-Actualization.
So what is love? The completion to these levels that whomever it may be brings you. The more the other person completes you, the more love you feel towards them. The more you complete them, the more they love you.
And so, love, is the completion of one another.
~RM