SRL Archive - NOTA

1) If you clone yourself and have sex with your clone, is it considered masturbating?

2) Can you cry under water?

3) How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

4) Why do you have to "put your two cents in"… but it's only "a penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

5) Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

6)Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

7) What disease did cured ham actually have?

8) How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

9) Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

10) Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

11) Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

12) Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

13) Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

14) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

15) If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about?

16) Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

17) If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

18) Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

19) If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

20) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

21) If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

22) Do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

23)Why did you just try singing the two songs above?!

24) Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

25) Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Found here, except for the first one, that was mine :p

1) It would be sex, but in latin with auto in front - just like how oral sex from yourself is autofellatio.
2) Yes you can - you have obviously not experienced epic belly flop pain.
3) It's assassination if the person doing the killing was a professional killer or not.
4) The US dollar compared to the Pound Sterling when the phrases were coined was roughly 2:1, hence 2 cents being equal to 1 penny.
5) Heaven doesn't exist silly.
6) Round boxes would be hard to produce as would square pizzas, though some places to offer them.
7) Cured ham cured the ham poisoning disease.
8) US was competing with USSR regarding space, not common sense or globally beneficial things such as aiding developing countries.
9) Babies are well known to sleep for many hours during the day. While they may not do it in one go, the cumulative sleeping would be great, hence the phrase.
10) The reason for being on TV is that people were afraid TV's stole peoples souls originally when they did say 'In TV' rather than 'On', so various broadcasting companies set about changing it to 'On'. Being in a movie wasn't a concern as they were often shown through projectors, so the soul would be free to leave if it wished as it wasn't constrained inside a box.
11) Guys do it to stare at epic cleavage without being pestered about it. Girls do it for some other sexist reason, like locating a good shopping store or seeing if they can find where they parked the car.
12) If they didn't then they too would have to get naked.
13) Bra just covers breasts where as panties covers front and back.
14) It's so that you can lay it on its side and use it as a grill for making cheese on toast with minimal effort.
15) It's so we don't forget poor Jimmy and the ordeal he went through even though he knew no praise would come his way for going through it. It is a song to honour his bravery.
16) Only if the corpse is sitting in the passenger seat.
17) He was an electrician, not a shipbuilder.
18) Goofy is a superior being, most likely due to government experiments.
19) The initial scene for the roadrunner vs Wile E. Coyote was cut, where by you see roadrunner killing Wile E.'s wife and kids, thus turning him insane and hell bent on revenge.
20) Baby seals.
21) Electricity is the movement of electrons, therefore morality comes from the movement of morons.
22) Tune is relative to how you sing it - We will rock you could have the same tune as the alphabet song if you wanted.
23) If I didn't then I would have been forced to commit suicide.
24) Same ending does not imply relationship between words. The "Aste" is actually a reference to "Hasta la vista" to show that it is far away. Haemorrhoid has its roots in Welsh, where by Haemo translates into English as home, with the orrh suffix an indicator of "close by", hence close to home.
25) Dogs have a large amount of pride and ego, so they like to feel in control. They will only get wind in their face under their own conditions and with them able to control it directly.

1) If you clone yourself and have sex with your clone, is it considered masturbating?

No.

2) Can you cry under water?

Yes.

3) How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Its not how important, its how they were killed.

4) Why do you have to "put your two cents in"… but it's only "a penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Its a system of you put two cents in, and you take 1 cent out, so theres always 1 left.

5) Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

You are naked in heaven (god bless)

6)Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Because a round box would just be stupid and the flaps wouldnt work.

7) What disease did cured ham actually have?

Trichinosis

8) How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Did we even put a man on the moon?

9) Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

Because babies sleep through anything, and not sure what kind of baby you got lol.

10) Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Because you have to be on to be in.

11) Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Because whats the point of paying to go to the top of the building just to see the sky closer?

12) Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

To have a quick wank?

13) Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Under-pants. Pants being the type.

14) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Because we would only moan if we couldnt do it.

15) If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about?

Because everyone cares!

16) Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

Yes.

17) If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Cause that wouldnt be much of a story.

18) Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Because Goofy is a moose.

19) If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Because that would suck.

20) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Mineral Oil is made from Minerals. No such thing as baby oil its just labed that.

21) If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

No.

22) Do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

No.

23)Why did you just try singing the two songs above?!

Didnt.

24) Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

Because they do.

25) Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Nope, thats some strange dog.

*Waits for Yakman to see #5 and make another God thread*

From: Griff721
*Waits for Yakman to see #5 and make another God thread*

i lol'd

Offtopic but maybe they should have a god sticky in the discussion and debates forum?

Ontopic: i lold at number one and the tune ones.

rogeruk: yes we did send a man on the moon, lots of times

From: Awkwardsaw
rogeruk: yes we did send a man on the moon, lots of times

Who says? Conspiracy Theorys

1) If you clone yourself and have sex with your clone, is it considered masturbating?
No.
2) Can you cry under water?
Yes. Very easily
3) How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Manner of death is all that's important
4) Why do you have to "put your two cents in"… but it's only "a penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Between the sofa cushions
5) Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Don't know, don't care
6)Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Because round boxes just look silly. That, and so it's easier to get the pizza in/out of the box
7) What disease did cured ham actually have?
Life
8) How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Don't know, don't care
9) Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
Because people are idiots
10) Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Because the English language is moronic
11) Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Because people are idiots
12) Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Because people are idiots
13) Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Because the English language is moronic
14) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Because people are idiots
15) If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about?
Because people are idiots
16) Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
Yes, but they'd probably get in trouble for it unless there was another live person in the car as well
17) If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Because people are idiots
18) Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
It's a secret
19) If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
Because that would have made sense
20) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Mineral oil, generally
21) If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
No
22) Do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
They can if you want them to
23)Why did you just try singing the two songs above?!
I didn't
24) Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
Because the English language is moronic
25) Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Because your breath stinks

From: senrath
25) Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Because your breath stinks

That made me laugh, probably cause its actually close to truth :p

From: rogeruk
Who says? Conspiracy Theorys

you have it backwards :p conpiracy(which is pretty much 100% mumbo jumbo) says we havnt landed.

and the fact that there is a flag, + footsteps, along with the video tape of them landing. there are also reflectors on the moon, and when you shine the correct light at the correct position, you can actually see the light coming back at you

From: Awkwardsaw
you have it backwards :p conpiracy(which is pretty much 100% mumbo jumbo) says we havnt landed.

and the fact that there is a flag, + footsteps, along with the video tape of them landing. there are also reflectors on the moon, and when you shine the correct light at the correct position, you can actually see the light coming back at you

Watch mith busters. They totaly own all conspirisists. Apparently a flag DOES wave in a vacuum, and foot prints ARE possible on dry land on the moon because something like it hasn't been worn down, and unlike the dirt/sand on our earth is round and smooth grains, its not that case on the moon, ergo they hold each other in place, keeping the imprint of his boot! :p

Discussed it once with Yakman - the reflectors work so that there is little accuracy needed in placing them, ie could've been done by robots, as could most other things relating to men on the moon.

Excatly. Bollacks to we got to the moon to be honest lol.

How come we can launch into space but cant solve food problems etc..

From: rogeruk
Excatly. Bollacks to we got to the moon to be honest lol.

How come we can launch into space but cant solve food problems etc..

because going into space really doesnt take much scientific technology. just rockets and perfect mathematical accuracy. whereas getting food for every one, is a miracle.

there is still more scientific proof that shows that we did land on the moon, than we did not

There is no proof we didn't land on the moon, but evidence that supports we did is questionable in near all areas.

From: mixster
There is no proof we didn't land on the moon, but evidence that supports we did is questionable in near all areas.

There is no question about the evidence that we landed on the moon. There's no reason to doubt that we did, and all conspiracy theories stating that we didn't have been debunked.
:f:

I'm sorry, have you researched it or are just saying it because the general populace accepts it?

Here is one

If you remove a turtle's shell, is it naked or homeless?

:p

From: FEAR
Here is one

If you remove a turtle's shell, is it naked or homeless?

:p

Easy. It's dead.

there have been wheels on luggage for a long time, who says there hasn't been?

and round boxes are way harder to collapse for storage, square boxes are easy to collapse and easy to assemble.