SRL Archive - Blogs and Writing

Debt

To you my dear I am always in debt,
I owe many a kiss and an embrace.
For these I hope no repay date is set,
Else I would hastily head to your place.

I would quickly begin reparations,
As I hold you with my loving heart.
To replenish your owed sensations,
This is how the refund to you would start.

If you were to only give me a day,
I don’t think it could be completed.
It would take at least a week for me to pay,
For my debt to be truly depleted.

So until you demand final payment,
I will love every little sentiment.

Holy shit fuck. You just wrote a sonnet.

It's really good. Those are so hard. I wrote one once, hated it, scrapped it. Very impressed. Very deep. The message is almost humourous because of the wording and the metaphors of payment, but the poem itself is loving. Man. I love it. :)

I keep re-reading it and the metaphors just blow my mind. Thank you for posting this. It's great. If it is about real life, the girl is very lucky.

i shall read to you my favorite Hiaku -

I once Killed a man.
He had a wife and two kids.
I slept peacefully

It's not a perfect sonnet since it lacks the iambic pentameter, but I usually only write poems in sonnets as I feel that if I can't give them a strict structure then I just write a story with bad grammar.

Glad to see you like it so much though, love you

From: mixster
It's not a perfect sonnet since it lacks the iambic pentameter, but I usually only write poems in sonnets as I feel that if I can't give them a strict structure then I just write a story with bad grammar.

Glad to see you like it so much though, love you

But is there really a difference between writing a sonnet without iambic and writing with iambic? Not really. You could still say the sonnet with iambic, it would just sound more awkward than if you used words more suited to the meter.