SRL Archive - Blogs and Writing

Tottering down the high school hall, he had no thoughts in his mind. The cold walls seemed to suck him dry of any warmth and emotion. Specks of light oozed from under the large, wooden doors, but failed to exceed the overbearing darkness.

He was heading towards the far end, but was unsure of if he should be thinking. It was a bit late to be thinking now - what had happened had already happened and so trying to change the past would be silly as he didn’t have a time machine. That didn’t stop him wondering and pondering what if he hadn’t taken them as time passed though.

Curving halls came to an abrupt end as he arrived at his destination.

Knock, knock and knock.

They echoed down the stone hall and mimicked the sound of a judge’s gavel sentencing him to his death.

“Enter,” he heard loudly and clearly despite the door in between. With a gulp, he opened the door and cautiously stepped in. “Close the door,” stated the voice. He closed the door behind him.

Peering at the room, it seemed as though he had walked into a previous century. Shaggy books covered whole walls and the wooden furniture seemed to be very aged as well. Quite possibly the only sign of modernisation was the somewhat new telephone that sat on his desk and what looked like an iPod, though it could have very easily been something else.

“Well, Toby?” said the voice. Upon closer inspection, Toby determined that there was a person to the voice. His nose seemed crooked and his whole face covered in wrinkles. Grey hair sparsely covered his head and the glasses sat low on his nose so that his eyes could see Toby without obstruction. His eyes were small and showed so much life experience, but it seemed that this life was a harsh one with scorn radiating from them.

“Erm, Ms Jones asked me to see you Sir,” replied Toby. A spark lit in the eyes of the man as it seemed the puzzle pieces fell into place. His mind whirring, he let out the odd word, like ‘yes’ or ‘indeed’ as he twiddled his pencil and stared up at the wall where a chart of the world stood in it’s ragged beauty.

In silence, Toby stood. He felt somewhat awkward, but was at least relieved that it seemed he was not in trouble. His involvement in the mysterious disappearances of the laptops was still concealed. So, he just stood for numerous minutes until eventually the man behind the desk swirled round.

“Toby, I have good news for you, but first we must answer some questions. Firstly, does anyone know you took the laptops?”

Toby nearly fell over. How could he possibly know? It was hard enough to perform the daring robbery, but to pull it off as perfectly as he had? More importantly, why was the man talking of ‘Good news’ if he has been found out as a criminal?

“Well Toby? Does anyone know you did it apart from myself?”
“I, uhm, don’t think so, but ho-” began Toby.
“Good - that will simplify matters greatly. Now secondly, how do you feel about a certain William Gales?”

William Gales had been bullying Toby for years. Mocking his simple life choices – laces rather than Velcro; sandwich rather than crisps for lunch; even apple juice over orange juice. To be honest, he was just a cruel and spiteful person.

“I, erm, guess he’s ok,” said Toby. In response, the man merely raised his eyebrows and called Toby’s bluff. “I really hate him.”
“How would you like to make him just ‘go away’?”
“Go away? Like, to another class?”
“No, Toby, I mean leave the school and never to return. You would most likely never see him again.”
“What? But, what did he do?!” Toby exclaimed.
“Oh, it’s not what he did, but what you did. Toby, given your clean past, it would be foolish to throw away your life because of one mistake. William has made more than enough mistakes to show that if he doesn’t go now, he will soon enough. The only question is how soon.”

Toby was in shock. What was he suggesting? It was just too much and so he stood there in a daze with those thoughts bubbling through his head,

“Toby, give me back the laptops and I can make William go away.”
“How?”
“Simply, I will make it seem he stole them. I will call in the police and he will be taken away, most likely never to return.”
“What? But he hasn’t done anything!”
“We both know that’s not true – he just hasn’t done any one thing that’s big enough. However, sometimes you must realise that the culmination,” – Toby gave a quizzical look –“ah, total, of all his bad deeds are far greater than this one crime on your behalf”.
“What happens if I don’t want this to happen?”
“Quite simply, nothing will happen. As long as you return the laptops, I’ll turn a blind eye this time. No one will know, no one will find out. They will turn up in one of the old storage cupboards and everyone will put it down to misplacement.”

“This isn’t fair – how can you give me the choice to ruin someone else’s life?”
“Because he has already made the decision to ruin yours.”

Toby stood stunned. He was right – the man behind the desk was right. Nothing good seemed to come from him and only pain occurred because of him. Is it really fair that his life is horrible, simply because William wants it to be?

“Well Toby? What will you decide?”
“I – I don’t know. You can’t expect me to make this decision!”
“I can and will. Now, you can have a bit longer, but I do expect a choice before the end of the hour.”

Turning to the clock the man pointed at, Toby saw he had twenty minutes to make the decision.

“Toby, do take a seat until you are ready. I can see this being a hard decision for you”.

Carelessly walking over to the chair, Toby had nearly completely zoned out of reality.

“How can you give me such a problem? How can you even be allowed to do this?” Toby asked.
“Oh Toby, I can do this because I believe in the welfare of everyone over the welfare of someone. Removing William would make so many children’s lives better that I must take the opportunity. It is in this moral grey area we live our lives and sometimes we must remove a darker shade to make it lighter for everyone else.”

Toby was disgusted, though more by himself. He was leaning towards agreeing, but how could he. He really did wish he had some kind of guidance on this – even a religion would do.

‘What would Jesus do?’ well it was obvious to Toby that he wouldn’t do it. However, as well as Toby knows that Jesus would say no, he knows that he is nothing like Jesus. Moral purity is a hard thing to achieve, especially when it results in pain.

Time ticked by while Toby went over the same thing again and again. His moral compass continued to spin crazily as the man behind the desk sat silently awaiting Toby’s decision. Twiddling thumbs with a fixed gaze at the battered map. Toby only had ten minutes left now, but he felt it wasn’t enough.

Time trickled by. Toby was becoming closer and closer to agreeing. “Ruin William’s life just because I want to” was all that he could think of. Glancing at the wall, he realised the map wasn’t of the earth, but instead something more like a fairytale with small images of dragons and knights and castles dotted around. He wished that maybe he could find himself in the map and use it to reach the right decision.

Time was up.

“Toby, what is your decision?”
“I – I can’t decide…” he muttered.
“No, you will decide and you will decide now Toby.”
“But I can’t – I can’t ruin someone’s life in one afternoon. I just can’t.”
“Are you saying you won’t do it?”
“I’m saying I can’t decide.”
“That’s not an option. Do you really think you will ruin his life by doing this? Do you not think he has already ruined his life and all you’ll be doing is speeding it up a bit?”
“I don’t know…”
“You do know. You have known since the very beginning, but you just can’t let yourself do it. Why shouldn’t you though? If I gave him the same decision, do you think for one second he would spare you?”
“I… I don’t know.”
“You do know. Now, answer before I lose my patience!” A stamp followed as the calm man behind the desk finally stood and hunched over the desk so that he was mere inches from Toby’s face.
“I can’t.” whispered Toby with a tear forming in his eye. “I just can’t decide this!” he screamed. Tears streaming down his face as he cowered.
“You will answer me, Toby. You will answer me and you will do it now,” said the man slowly, calmly and clearly as he then sat down once more. This was it; Toby had to make his decision.

Toby sobbed to himself for a moment before murmuring his answer under his breath.
“Speak up Toby.”
“Y-yes…”
“That’s what I thought. I will contact you later to arrange the transfer. Now, off you go Toby. You still have the last half of your lesson remaining.”
“Yes sir” he grumbled as he rose from his seat, dried his eyes and walked to the door with a look of dread upon his face as though he was just sentenced to death.

They echoed down the stone hall and mimicked the sound of a judge’s gavel sentencing him to his death.

I'm not fantastic at Literature, But I believe that would sound better as

They echoed down the stone hall, mimicking the sound of a judge's gavel.

The last bit about death sounds a bit too long winded for me, and the 'and' breaks it up too much.

Thats the onyl thing I really noticed, but nice :)

Aww, I was expecting a twist right at the end, like Toby would basically confess to stealing the laptops because he wants William gone and then returning the laptops(proving he stole them). Then the principal gets Toby in trouble for stealing them.

Does this make me a bad person?

Newer version - much improved imo.

He was lumbering down the high school hall. The stone, cold walls sucked him dry of all warmth and emotion. A little light oozed from under the woeful wooden doors, but failed to pierce the dreadful darkness - that overbearing blankness.

The far end was his goal. What had happened had already happened, but he was wondering what if he hadn’t taken them.

Haughty halls came to an abrupt end before the ornate oaken-door.

Knock… Knock… Knock…

They echoed down the stone hall as though a judge’s gavel was sentencing him to his death.

“Enter,” he heard loudly and clearly despite the door in between. With a gulp, he opened the door and cautiously stepped in. “Close the door,” stated the voice in its deep, powerful tone. He closed the door behind him.

Peering at the room, it was like he had walked into a previous century. Shaggy books covered all but one of the walls and the furniture was of polished oak that matched the door, but very aged as well. Quite possibly the only sign of modernisation was the somewhat new telephone and what looked a bit like an iPod that sat, out of place, on the large desk that took up the centre of the room with a couple of chairs in front and a man behind.

“Well, Toby?” said the voice. He raised his head to look at Toby - his nose was long and crooked and his whole face was covered in wrinkles. Grey hair sparsely covered his head and spectacles sat low on his nose so that his eyes could see Toby without obstruction. Those eyes were small and showed so much life experience, but it seemed that this life was a harsh one with scorn radiating from them despite his blank look.

“Erm, Ms Jones as’d me to see you, Sir,” replied Toby. A spark lit in his eyes as it seemed the puzzle pieces fell into place. His mind began whirring and his chair drifted until he faced sideways. He let out the odd word, like ‘yes’ or ‘indeed’, as he twiddled his pencil and stared up at the book-free wall where an old chart hung in it’s ragged magnificence next to a dust-covered window.

In silence, Toby stood. He felt somewhat awkward, but was relieved that it seemed he was not in trouble. He started to fidget after numerous minutes until eventually the man behind the desk swirled round to face him, causing straightening up and stillness.

“Toby, we must now answer some questions. Firstly, does anyone know you took the laptops?”

Toby felt like a train had hit him. “How come he knows? It was perfect… What ‘good news’”, he thought to himself.

“Well Toby? Does anyone know that it was you, apart from me?”
“Erm, what are ya talking about, Sir?” Toby cautiously and instinctively responded.
“We have no times for fun and games now, Toby. You’re not in trouble so do not dare lie to me again,” he replied with a distinct air of calm authority Toby could not oppose.
“I, uhm, don’t think so, Sir, but ho-” began Toby.
“Good - that will simplify matters greatly. Secondly, how do you feel about a certain William Gales?”

William, or Bill as everyone else called him, had been bullying Toby for years. Bill mocked his simple life choices – laces rather than Velcro; sandwiches rather than crisps for lunch; even apple juice over orange juice. To be honest, he was just a cruel and spiteful person, especially to Toby it seemed.

“I, uhh, guess he’s,” the man merely raised his eyebrows and narrowed his eyes, calling Toby’s bluff before he said it, “I hate him… Sir.”
“How would you like to make him ‘go away’?”
“‘Go away’? Like, where?”
“He would leave the school and never to return. You would most likely never see him again.”
“What? What’s he done?” Toby exclaimed.
“Oh, it’s not what he did, but what you did, Toby. Given your clean past, it would be foolish to throw away your life because of one mistake. William has made more than enough mistakes to show that if he doesn’t go now, he will soon enough. The only question is how soon.”

Toby was in shock. What was he suggesting? It was just too much and so he was trapped in a daze with those thoughts bubbling through his head.

“Toby, return the laptops and I can make it so William goes away.”
There was a pause then Toby asked, with great reluctance, “How?”
“Simply, I will make it seem he stole them. I will call in the police and he will be taken away, most likely never to return.”
“But he’s done nothin’!”
“We both know that’s not true – he just hasn’t done any one thing that’s big enough. However, sometimes you must realise that the culmination,” Toby gave him a quizzical look, “ah, result, of all his bad deeds are far greater than this one crime on your behalf”.
“What if I don’t?”
“As long as you return the laptops, I’ll turn a blind eye this time and nothing will happen. No one will know; no one will find out. They will turn up in one of the old storage cupboards and everyone will put it down to misplacement.”

“This ain’t fair – you can’t let me wreck his life!”
“Even though he has already made the decision to ruin yours?”

Toby stood stunned. He was right. Nothing good seemed to come from him and only pain occurred because of him. Is it really fair that his life is so horrible, simply because Bill wants it to be?

“Well Toby? What will you decide?”
“I – I dunno. Why do I choose…?”
“Why? Because I am making you and thus you can and will. Now, you can have a while to do so, but I do expect an answer before the end of the hour.”

Turning to the clock the man pointed at, Toby saw he had around twenty minutes to make the decision.

“Toby, do take a seat until you are ready. I can see this being a hard decision for you”.

Toby had nearly completely zoned out of reality as he carelessly walked over to the chair.

“Why are ya makin’ me? How can ya do this?” Toby asked.
“Oh Toby, I can do this because I believe in the welfare of everyone over the welfare of just one person. Removing William would make the lives of so many pupils and teachers better that I must take this opportunity. It is in this moral grey area we live our lives and sometimes we must remove a darker shade to make it lighter for everyone else.”

Toby didn’t really understand what he was saying, but he felt disgusted - though more by himself. He was leaning towards agreeing, but how could he. He really did wish he had some kind of guidance on this – even a religion would do.

‘What would Jesus do?’ Well obviously he wouldn’t do it. However, as much as Toby knows that Jesus would say no, he knows that he is nothing like Jesus - moral purity is a hard thing to achieve, especially when it results in pain.

Time ticked by while Toby went over the same thing again and again. His moral compass continued to spin crazily as though the man behind the desk was playing with a magnet, but he just sat silently awaiting Toby’s decision with twiddling thumbs and a fixed gaze at the battered map. Toby only had ten minutes left now, but he felt it wasn’t enough.

Time trickled by. Toby was becoming closer and closer to agreeing, but the thought ‘mess up Bill’s life, just because’ was stopping him saying yes. Peering at the wall, he realised the map wasn’t of the earth, but instead something more like a fairytale land with small images of dragons and knights and castles dotted around. He wished that maybe he could find himself in the map and use it to reach the right decision.

Time was up.

“Toby, what is your decision?”
“I – I dunno…” he muttered.
“No, you will decide and you will decide now Toby.”
“But I can’t – I can’t trash his life so fast. I just can’t.”
“Are you saying you won’t do it?”
“I can’t choose.”
“That’s not an option. Do you really think you will reduce his life to rubble by doing this? Do you not think he has already devastated his life and all you’ll be doing is speeding it up a bit?”
“I don’t know…”
“You do know. You have known since the very beginning, but you just can’t let yourself do it. Why shouldn’t you though? If I gave him the same decision, do you think for one second he would spare you?”
“I… I dunno…”
“You do know. Now, answer before I lose all my patience!” A stamp followed as the calm man behind the desk finally stood and hunched over the desk so that he was mere inches from Toby’s fearful face.
“I can’t,” whispered Toby with a tear forming in his eye. “I can’t do this!” he screamed. Tears streaming down his face as he cowered.
“You will answer me, Toby. You will answer me and you will do it now,” stated the man slowly, calmly and clearly as he then sat down once more. This was it; Toby had to make his decision. No longer did his moral compass spin as the man behind the desk held the magnet so very still where he wanted it.

Toby sobbed to himself for a moment before murmuring his answer under his breath.
“Speak up Toby.”
“Y-yes…”
“That’s what I thought. I will contact you later to arrange the transfer. Now, off you go, Toby. You still have the last half of your lesson remaining.”
“Yes Sir,” he grumbled as he rose from his seat, dried his eyes and walked to the door with a look of dread upon his face as though he was just sentenced to death.