SRL Archive - Discussions & Debates

Note to Mods: sorry for posting this message on two forms but I think this is a better place for it. Delete the other one if need be.

ok so here is the story:

Tonight, a friend of mine is grounded.

And I feel guilty because i was involved.

Ok so the story goes,
I was hanging out at my friend's house and it got late. (around ~9:30pm playing Runescape, etc.)
I took the bus so I didn't have a ride home.
Since it got late, the bus was no longer available. (The bus' last visit to the stop is at 6:00pm since its on the weekend).

I asked if my friend could send me home.
He says O.K.
During this time, his parents were both asleep from work and only we were up.
He sent me home and I said we can continue our game once he gets home.

When he didn't log in, I called him and asked why he wasn't on?
He told me he was grounded because his parents said he was being disobedient. I guess his parents "caught him going out late at night". By not telling his parents where he was going, he broke one of their (unofficial) rules of the house. (Always tell parents where you are going before you make the trip. Basically asking permission…)

Now this is the controversial part, was it an act of kindness and politeness? Or was it a deliberate act of disobedience and rebellion?

My friend and I assumed it was best to let his parents sleep since it was late at night and it would be considered rude to wake them up just to ask them for permission to send me home. (By the way, its his car, he pays for it, so its not like he's taking his parents' car and not telling them.)

I tried explaining to his mother but she says the decision is final and I should not be telling her how to raise her son. Needless to say, my perspective of her changed greatly from that point onward. I will never see her as the nice, and hospital person she used to be. No matter how I would present the argument, she would always lace it to not asking for permission.

So I ask you all this SRL community.
Is it fair for my friend to receive such punishment?
In my eyes, it seemed as though asking for this so called permission seemed almost absurd. He and I are both 17 and 18 years of age respectively. Is his parents' being far too controlling? Or is he really breaking the unofficial rules of the house and disobeying his parents by doing something independently without permission?

I really want your guy's opinion on this. I know to you guys it may just seem like another boring blog story but I truly wish to have your guys' honest opinion on this.

If not anything, this would at least put my soul at ease as to who is right and who is wrong.

And it IS down to the mother, you cannot look down on her because of this. If her son had crashed when he was out, she would have felt guilty wouldnt she? She wouldn't have known where he was if he didn't come home.. You CAN see it from the mothers point of view here. If your friend is 17, the parents can do as they please, because he is still not considered an adult until he is 18, or 21 in America, so they can still ground him if they please. If he doesnt like it, he can move house, that is the way my parents see it. Their house, their rules.

If he's grounded for just a day or two and he's a good friend of yours, it's ok, misunderstandings etc happen, so it doesn't matter so much…

he could write written where he was going on a piece of paper, so if his parents woke up they could read it.

obviously it still wouldnt be asking for permissiong, but at least you can then say you didnt want to wake them

They treat him like a 12 year old?

From: n3ss3s
If he's grounded for just a day or two and he's a good friend of yours, it's ok, misunderstandings etc happen, so it doesn't matter so much…

Its not a just a day or two.
We are talking 3 weeks or more here. (since only the weekends matter anyway)

@ToF:
And yes i still look down on the mother for this. I thought, if anything, she would understand and trust her son more. I mean, the guy has a job, hes doing well at school, and has a car. Just those 3 things only should already prove he's has some sense of responsibility.

@yakman:
We didn't know they would randomly wake up during the middle of the night. Usually we only leave a note if we were going to go out late or something. But we didn't…

IS the middle of the night 9:30 ?