SRL Archive - Outdated Tutorials

How to NOT get answer to your question in forum…

• DO NOT use search button before posting
• DO NOT read rules, they are for weak persons!
• For god sake, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT read tutorials!
• Use big-big moving gif as your avatar.
• Post to wrong subforum
• For backup, do same post to 2-3 more subforums.
• Name your post like "Problem" or "Question"
• Don't forget to add lots of "!" to your thread subject, you'll get answer faster if you do that
• If you use red letters in your post, then peoples can understand how important your problem is.
• Make all words shorter, even short words, example "you" must be "u", if you write correctly then potiental answerers may think your post is worth to answer
• Commas, dots and such are for geeks!
• Writing correctly shows you are total geek!
• Write your post in all one line or better, one big sentence.
• In any case, DO NOT give full description about your problem, thinkreaders can understand you, desktop pictures and technical details are crap!
• If you want to up file somewhere else, then up it there where download speed is lower than 10kb/sec.
• Add lots of smiles into your post, they make reading your post easyer and funnier!
• DO NOT post as usual post, post it as poll!
• If someone hasn't answered to your post in 10 mins make new post - "doesn't anybody really know?".
• If someone will answer then be sure to flame him/her. shithead! how dare you!
• When answering then be sure to quote all the post what you are answering to, if it quoted another quote then quote it aswell!
• DO not agree any link what redirects you to some help site, ask them to make guide in your language if yours isn't english.
• Do not never ever thank anyone, in that way you would show your weekness!
• If you get your problem fixed then for god sake do not tell others you got, or worse don't tell them how you got it, that would make impossible to others to post same problem like yours!

Most of it written by 2fast4you.
Edited and translated by Negaal

i like the reverse psychology :P do not love spaz !!

~Spaz

EDIT btw nice tut :P lol i wonder how many people will regard these are rules and not see the sarcasm…

From: Negaal
How to NOT get answer to your question in forum…

DO NOT use search button before posting
DO NOT read rules, they are for weak persons!
For god sake, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT read tutorials!
Use big-big moving gif as your avatar.
Post to wrong subforum
For backup, do same post to 2-3 more subforums.
Name your post like "Problem" or "Question"
Don't forget to add lots of "!" to your thread subject, you'll get answer faster if you do that
If you use red letters in your post, then peoples can understand how important your problem is.
Make all words shorter, even short words, example "you" must be "u", if you write correctly then potiental answerers may think your post is worth to answer
Commas, dots and such are for geeks!
Writing correctly shows you are total geek!
Write your post in all one line or better, one big sentence.
In any case, DO NOT give full description about your problem, thinkreaders can understand you, desktop pictures and technical details are crap!
If you want to up file somewhere else, then up it there where download speed is lower than 10kb/sec.
Add lots of smiles into your post, they make reading your post easyer and funnier!
DO NOT post as usual post, post it as poll!
If someone hasn't answered to your post in 10 mins make new post - "doesn't anybody really know?".
If someone will answer then be sure to flame him/her. shithead! how dare you!
When answering then be sure to quote all the post what you are answering to, if it quoted another quote then quote it aswell!
DO not agree any link what redirects you to some help site, ask them to make guide in your language if yours isn't english.
Do not never ever thank anyone, in that way you would show your weekness!
If you get your problem fixed then for god sake do not tell others you got, or worse don't tell them how you got it, that would make impossible to others to post same problem like yours!

Most of it written by 2fast4you.
Edited and translated by Negaal

You posted in the wrong forum. Too bad your post wasn't a question ;)

How to NOT get answer to your question in forum…

DO NOT use search button before posting
DO NOT read rules, they are for weak persons!
For god sake, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT read tutorials!
Use big-big moving gif as your avatar.
Post to wrong subforum
For backup, do same post to 2-3 more subforums.
Name your post like "Problem" or "Question"
Don't forget to add lots of "!" to your thread subject, you'll get answer faster if you do that
If you use red letters in your post, then peoples can understand how important your problem is.
Make all words shorter, even short words, example "you" must be "u", if you write correctly then potiental answerers may think your post is worth to answer
Commas, dots and such are for geeks!
Writing correctly shows you are total geek!
Write your post in all one line or better, one big sentence.
In any case, DO NOT give full description about your problem, thinkreaders can understand you, desktop pictures and technical details are crap!
If you want to up file somewhere else, then up it there where download speed is lower than 10kb/sec.
Add lots of smiles into your post, they make reading your post easyer and funnier!
DO NOT post as usual post, post it as poll!
If someone hasn't answered to your post in 10 mins make new post - "doesn't anybody really know?".
If someone will answer then be sure to flame him/her. shithead! how dare you!
When answering then be sure to quote all the post what you are answering to, if it quoted another quote then quote it aswell!
DO not agree any link what redirects you to some help site, ask them to make guide in your language if yours isn't english.
Do not never ever thank anyone, in that way you would show your weekness!
If you get your problem fixed then for god sake do not tell others you got, or worse don't tell them how you got it, that would make impossible to others to post same problem like yours!

Most of it written by 2fast4you.
Edited and translated by Negaal

From: Santa_Clause
You posted in the wrong forum. Too bad your post wasn't a question ;)

Yeah, because I didn't want it to be answered and I wanted to make help needers think a bit before posting

Moved ;)

DO NOT read rules, they are for weak persons!

They become weak after they get a shitload of flaming from me :rolleyes:

2fast4you had to do some real work gathering those lol.

Well, nice, eh, thing/guide/whatever.


What language did you translate it from?

From: EvilChicken

What language did you translate it from?

From estonian to english

EDIT: If you wish, I may post original source?
Want?

Well maybe they'll get it :D

I like it :)
Rep++

Best guide ever. We should make everywith a stupied question read this. Seriously. Like ban them to only this read for a few hours. Nice guide.

From: Negaal
From estonian to english

EDIT: If you wish, I may post original source?
Want?

I want the original source :D :P

From: hvitekrist
I want the original source :D :P

Uhmm…
Here you go:

Ära mitte mingil juhul kasuta otsingut enne postitamist
Ära loe reegleid! Need on nõrkadele
Kasuta liikuvat suurt GIF’i oma avatarina
Postita valesse alafoorumisse
Tee igaks juhuks täpselt samasugune post paari-kolme alafoorumisse
Pane oma postituse pealkirjaks “Probleem” või “Küsimus”
Ära unusta pealkirjale hüüumärke lisada. Mida rohkem, seda kiiremini sulle vastatakse
Kui sa kasutad postituses punaseid tähti, siis inimesed saavad aru kui tähtis su probleem on
Kirjuta ainult suur- või väiketähtedes
Lühenda kõik sõnad, isegi lühikesed nagu “või”, kasutades seejuures slängi - “w”. Kui sa korralikult kirjutad, siis võivad potentsiaalsed vastajad mõelda, et su post on vastust väärt
Kirjavahemärgid on nohikutele!
Õigekiri on veel hullematele nohikutele!
Kirjuta kogu post ühe reana või, veelgi soovitavam, ühe hiigelpika lausena.
Täpitähed on väga mitte-coolid. Nende asemel saab ju numbreid kasutada.
Ära mingil juhul anna probleemi täpset kirjeldust. Need mõtetelugejad saavad ju isegi aru. Ekraanipildid ja tehnilised detailid on üleliigne pahn!
Kui sa siiski lisad lingi failile või pildile, siis kindlasti oma arvutis olevale failile. Kui sa selle siiski kuhugi serverisse üles paned, siis kindlasti ära kasuta hot.ee teenuseid, vaid pane see kuhugi võimalikult kehvasti ligisaadavasse välismaa serverisse
Lisa postitusse hästi palju suvalisi smiley’sid. Need lihtsustavad oluliselt lugemist ja teevad selle lõbusamaks
Ära mingil juhul postita tavapostina. Palju parem on ju teha küsitlus - “Kas sa oskad seda? Jah/Ei”
Kui sulle ei ole kümne minuti jooksul vastatud, siis tee uus post sisuga “no kas keegi tõesti ei tea we!”
Kui keegi vastab, siis kindlasti sõima teda. Kuidas ta, raisk, julges!
Vastamisel kindlasti tsiteeri kogu see post millele sa vastad. Ja kui see juhtus midagi tsiteerima, siis kaasa ka see
Ära mingil juhul ole nõus lingiga abi andvale lehele. Nõua, et sulle tehtaks puust ja punaseks, piltide ja lauluga eestikeelne õpetus. Selle eest nad ju palka saavadki!
Mitte mingil juhul ära kunagi täna kedagi. See oleks ju selge märk sinu nõrkusest!
Kui sa asja korda saad, siis jumala pärast, ära mingil juhul ütle et sa said - või veelgi hullem, kirjelda kuidas sa korda said. See võimaldaks teistel sinu tegevust korrata ja seda sa ju ometigi ei taha!

made by:2fast4you

Edit: 700th post :)

Don't forget to add lots of "!" to your thread subject, you'll get answer faster if you do that

I thought we don't want to get an answer? :p

From: Rambozin
I thought we don't want to get an answer? :p

Demit!, I'll fix that
Edit: Lol, on second though, it was meant like that:p

This is a cool guide good for the people who just don't know how to follow the rules. If i got rep i might have given it to you.

three letters—> LOL

Lol reverse physcology. Btw u mispelled weakness.

If you want to up file somewhere else, then up it there where download speed is lower than 10kb/sec.

Haha, it would still only take like 5 seconds to download a script at that speed. that is super ultra fast!

I think you should add:

Don't write in clear, understandable sentences. This makes it easier for people to read.

^^*cough*cough*kelly slater pro surfer*cough*cough*^^

Edited and translated by Negaal

Translated, was it in l33t speak? :O!

We should have this sort of thing, but as a quiz D:! before posting questions, ie, it asks
Did you search formums
Did you check tutorials

And have a radio button D:

you might also want to have a look at this,
How to ask questions the smart way

its essential reading for everyone. (even if you already know how to ask questions)

funny guide…
your sarcasm lol :p
rep++ for making my day