SRL Archive - Other Scripts

using my SRL Ep*nis calculator, it spits out a number realtive to your input to SRL…

program Epenis;
                 ///--How big is your Epenis?--\\\
                ///We all know it's by postcount\\\
               ///------------And Rep------------\\\
                     {.include SRL/SRL.scar}
{-----------------------------------------------------------------------------}

Const
Female = False; //Are you a girl?
Inches = True; //True for Inches, False for Centimeters.
PostCount = 0; //How many posts do you have on srl-forums?
Reputation = 0; //And how about your rep?
Infractions = 0; //How many warnings have you recieved?

    {-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=Optional.=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-}

SrlStats = False; //Are you going to use SRL Stats when calculating?
SrlStatsExp = 0; //How many points does your SRL-Stats account have?
L337 = False; //D0 Y0U W4N7 T3H L337 5P34KZ?

{_____________________________Teh______Calcz___________________________________}
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
{******************************************************************************}

var
EpenisResult, MyPenis: Extended;


Procedure YourEpenis;
 begin
  if (SrlStats=False) then
   begin
     MyPenis:=(Reputation)*15+(PostCount)
     if (Inches) then EpenisResult:=MyPenis/100-(Infractions)
     if (Inches=false) then EpenisResult:=(MyPenis/100)*2.54
    end;
  if (SrlStats) then
   begin
    MyPenis:=(Reputation)*15+(PostCount)
     if (Inches) then EpenisResult:=MyPenis/100-(Infractions)+(SrlStatsExp/10000)
     if (Inches=false) then EpenisResult:=(MyPenis/100)+(SrlStatsExp/10000)-(Infractions)*2.54
    end;
   end;
     
     
Procedure NoPenis;
 begin
  WriteLn('You Most Certainly Do Not Have A Penis!')
 end;

Procedure Results;
 Begin
   YourEpenis;
    WriteLn('Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-')
    WriteLn('.')
    Wait(500)
  ClearDebug;
    WriteLn('Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-')
    WriteLn('...')
    Wait(500)
  ClearDebug
    WriteLn('Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-')
    WriteLn('.....')
    Wait(500)
  ClearDebug
    WriteLn('Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-')
    WriteLn('.......')
    Wait(500)
  ClearDebug
    WriteLn('Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-')
    WriteLn('.........')
    Wait(2000)
    
  If (Inches) then
   begin
    If (L337) then  WriteLn(' 50 BY 1N73RN37 574ND4RD5, Y0UR 3PENIXXX 15: ' +FloatToStr(EpenisResult)+' 1NCH35 L0NG.')
    Else
    WriteLn(' So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: ' +FloatToStr(EpenisResult)+ ' inches long.');
   end;

  If (Inches=False) then
   begin
    If (L337) then  WriteLn(' 50 BY 1N73RN37 574ND4RD5, Y0UR 3PENIXXX 15: ' +FloatToStr(EpenisResult)+' C3N71M37R35 L0NG.')
    Else
    WriteLn(' So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: ' +FloatToStr(EpenisResult)+ ' centimeters long.');
   end;

 If (inches) then
 begin
  if(EpenisResult<4) then
   begin
    WriteLn(' ')
    WriteLn(' ')
    Wait (2000)
    WriteLn(' Wow! I am sorry, you have a tiny SRL Epenis.')
   end;
  if(EpenisResult>12) then
   begin
    WriteLn(' ')
    WriteLn(' ')
    Wait (2000)
    WriteLn(' Wow! Do You pass out when you get an erection?')
   end;
 end;

 If (Inches=false) then
 begin
  if(EpenisResult<10.16) then
   begin
    WriteLn(' ')
    WriteLn(' ')
    Wait (2000)
    WriteLn('Wow! I am sorry, you have a tiny SRL Epenis.')
   end;
  if(EpenisResult>30.48) then
   begin
    WriteLn(' ')
    WriteLn(' ')
    Wait (2000)
    WriteLn('Wow! Do You pass out when you get an erection?')
   end;
  end;

  WriteLn('---------------------------------------------------------------------')
end;

Procedure BadOne;
 Begin
  If (Infractions=1) then
   Begin
    WriteLn('Bad, you have ' +IntToStr(Infractions)+ ' SRL Forums Infraction.')
    Wait (1500)
    WriteLn('That will chop your "SRL Epenis" down a bit.')
    Wait (3000)
   end;
  If (Infractions>1) then
   Begin
    WriteLn('Bad, you have ' +IntToStr(Infractions)+ ' SRL Forums Infractions.')
    Wait (1500)
    WriteLn('That will chop your "SRL Epenis" down a bit.')
    Wait (3000)
   end;
 end;
 
////////////////////--------MAIN LOOP-----------\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
 Begin
  ClearDebug;
   BadOne;
  ClearDebug;
     ClearDebug;
   if (Female) then NoPenis;
   if (Female) then Exit;
   Results;
 end.

EDIT: Updated to include SRL stats, and infractions, you should have a different number this time and SRL stats only make a idfference if you have more then 10k points….

yay im good
So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 8.61 inches long
———————————————————————
id imagine boreas's ——————————————>

So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 37.74 inches long
———————————————————————
Successfully executed
Thats What Boreas Has With No Rep

36.73 inches :)

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
.........
 So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 4,9 inches long
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Successfully executed

How many CM = 1 inch?

2,54 CM = 1 Inch

So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 11,2 inches long

12 CM?!!

Looooooooool.
No, really. Thats offensive.

lol haha! sec posting result in a sec

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
………
So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 20.29 inches long
———————————————————————

haha, thats my first script in qa while, it was fun… santa helped me fix my errors..

sorry for couble, but i just updated script to include CM

Um…just finding out post count for now. brb testing *gets out ruler*

How the heck do I find out my rep?

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
………
So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 14,02 inches long.


Wow! Do You pass out when you get an erection?
———————————————————————

what a useless script :p
its funny tough :)

i think this is hilarious, my little brother found it and went i want 7000 posts!

You Most Certainly Do Not Have A Penis!
Successfully executed

Dang!
Well, I lied ;)

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
………
So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 36.56 inches long.


Wow! Do You pass out when you get an erection?
———————————————————————
Successfully executed

Damn! Why am I so short, compared to RL? :'(

Omigosh, you are sooo mean =/

I got low post count because i usually save up my progress reports and post them in one go

Add the option to put in your Exprience in srl-stats?

So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 1.84 inches long.


Wow! I am sorry, you have a tiny SRL Epenis.
—————————————————

lmfao, sure, i will, but this is to SRL-forums, not only posting proggies but any other feedback adds.. i will add in a SRL stats part though. (maybe)

Nice, I'm about to try it out. But I had to post to check what my post count is =P. Lol nice, mines at like 2.36 (I put 0 rep cause idk if I have any). You should add an infractions thing. Like if you have 1, 2, or 3 points for an infraction your score goes down.

oh, jeez, this is turning inot a real script, heck it'll get me more prectice to be into the swing of things.

LOL.

Be back in a sec. (Gotta see my post count)


EDIT:

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
.........
 So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 19.5 inches long.
 
 
 Wow! Do You pass out when you get an erection?
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Successfully executed

*pained*

I think I'm gonna have to cut some off…

Just over 40" :p

damn smartz, you wanna help me add an infractions feature?

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
.........
 So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 1.12 inches long.
 
 
 Wow! I am sorry, you have a tiny SRL Epenis.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Successfully executed

Not much to say…

i entered all thw things you needed to TRUELY so no lie.

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
.........
 So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 22.85 inches long.
 
 
 Wow! Do You pass out when you get an erection?
---------------------------------------------------------------------

yeah, people with crazy high postcount, they need a special belt to keep it from touching the ground

Nah..

I use IT as my belt ;)

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
………
So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 28.9 inches long.


Wow! Do You pass out when you get an erection?
———————————————————————
Successfully executed

I've seen Hobbit's :p

haha, thats crazay\

You don't need SRL, it only slows the script down.

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
………
So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 38.47 inches long.


Wow! Do You pass out when you get an erection?
———————————————————————

With SRL stats

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
.........
 So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 3.03 inches long.
 
 
 Wow! I am sorry, you have a tiny SRL Epenis.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Well I am getting there. How do you tell blackmarks and rep?

haha, i will reg it for SRL stats, thanks for the idea, then you can check on everyone's Epenis….. and its such a basic script no slowing down really occurs (that i notice) on any of my computers.

Funny script :) Good work.

5 cm. :/

HAHA! For once my penis is bigger than my e-penis!

no need for SRL stats, taken out.

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
………
So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 15,494 centimeters long.
———————————————————————

WRONG! so wrong…:p

lol, did you fill out everything, inlcuding your SRL points? and change your rep…. cuz you shouldnt have that high a number

From: yanix
Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
………
So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 15,494 centimeters long.
———————————————————————

WRONG! so wrong…:p

Lol yanix here's ur real one =p

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
.........
 So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 3.62 inches long.
 
 
 Wow! I am sorry, you have a tiny SRL Epenis.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

hehe. YES go hobbit… i enjoy making pointless scripts…

From: aran armath

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
.........
 So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 3.03 inches long.
 
 
 Wow! I am sorry, you have a tiny SRL Epenis.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Well I am getting there. How do you tell blackmarks and rep?

Freaking god I had a growth spurt

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
.........
 So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 6.56 inches long.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Successfully executed

Added in rep.

Shame Shame why all this lieing..??

aran ur real size…

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
………
So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 4.56 inches long.
———————————————————————
Successfully executed

Don't forget I can check rep amounts ;)

I'm always watching muahahahahahaa

hobbit, you're just the secret police of this topic aren't you.

i could see a lil hobbit running aorund through garbages and seeing how far unrolled used condoms are and yelling at people for lying about real penis size. lmfao…. :)

but your choppin cock in this topic. ima post my size now.

i have an infraction that comes up at the end of the week so i didnt include it….

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
this includes rep, SRL-Stats Exp, and Postcount
Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
………
So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 4.24 inches long.
———————————————————————
Successfully executed

From: goider

i could see a lil hobbit running aorund through garbages and seeing how far unrolled used condoms are and yelling at people for lying about real penis size. lmfao…. :)

That made me laugh harder then anything ive ever read on this forum. This is going in my sig lol

lmfao, you do know im going to make a photoshopped image of that and post it for you lmfao

i think its funny you thought it was so funny….. rwar IM IN SOMONES SIGGY!

here you go hobbit. and you gave me the infraction that gets removed soon :]

So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 0.59 inches long.

:o

I feel affended, oh its okay lol!!!!:D

From: Hobbit
Shame Shame why all this lieing..??

aran ur real size…



Don't forget I can check rep amounts ;)

I'm always watching muahahahahahaa

I wasnt lieing. The only thing that I dont know about is whether using 3.13 instead of 3.12 would make a difference doubt it. Did you include my srl stats?

From: goider
lmfao, you do know im going to make a photoshopped image of that and post it for you lmfao

i think its funny you thought it was so funny….. rwar IM IN SOMONES SIGGY!

here you go hobbit. and you gave me the infraction that gets removed soon :]

ROFL!!

From: Hy71194
ROFL!!

hehe, hobbit still hasnt seen it.

ROFL THAT'S AMAZING!!!

Thanks for sendin me a copy :p

Hobbit… I still want to know how you got 4inches and I got 6 inches. What all did you include?

I Filled out everything possible in the script

hobbit is the sex, okay do you want him to go through your trash and report the real info…. i swear he will!

From: Hobbit The Condom Caper
ROFL THAT'S AMAZING!!!

Thanks for sendin me a copy

your welcome….. Hobbit The Condom Caper!

You need to add a const AreYouDev = True/False; and then in procedure YourEPenis; add if AreYouADev then
MyPenis := Pow(MyPenis, 1.2);

that makes it mroe realistic

From: Lorax
MyPenis := Pow(MyPenis, 1.2);

I think you mean MyPenis:= Pow(MyPenis, 0.2); :p ?

If you're going to add the AreYouDev-thing, Goider, you might aswell include something like "DoYouHaveAnSRLStatsAccount". If you don't, your penis size is dramatically decreased. (Hint: Negative number?) :D

I posted my EPenis length a page or 2 back :p I should already be a bit longer, rauw (euw?) :p

Edit: SMILEY-OVERUSE!

-Knives

From: King of Knives
(Hint: Negative number?) :D

Only Here has a negative number so far ;)

lol, i will make it so srl stats if its false, you it will open up SRL- stats page…. :)

lol i suck
i think it was 2.97…

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
.........
 So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 9.13 inches long.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Add in # of referrals, too. I have the second most on the forums behind Starblaster :p

OOOOOOOH I was always wondering what that ment….

lol I thought it was like rep, but someone referred me to someone :confused:

:duh:

You've never noticed when you register on a forum and it says, "Who referred you to these forums (if anyone) _______"?

My account was created for me by Benland. Thats how it went in the private days, you go ahold of the "Secret" email and sent in why you think you should be let in, it gets polled, you your accepted he emailed you back and asked what you account name wanted to be and password.

So I didn't have that, and I think I've only ever registered on one forum that had that…well of what i remember atleast…

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
.........
 So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 32.43 inches long.
 
 
 Wow! Do You pass out when you get an erection?
---------------------------------------------------------------------

I claim longer….

haha, man that was me too.

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
………
So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 0.13 inches long.


Wow! I am sorry, you have a tiny SRL Epenis.
———————————————————————

:[
Guess I haven't been in the game long enough.

So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 0,889 centimeters long.


Wow! I am sorry, you have a tiny SRL Epenis.

Oh dear……
——————————————————————–

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
………
So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 1.41 inches long.


Wow! I am sorry, you have a tiny SRL Epenis.
———————————————————————
Successfully executed

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
………
50 BY 1N73RN37 574ND4RD5, Y0UR 3PENIXXX 15: 9,525 C3N71M37R35 L0NG.


Wow! I am sorry, you have a tiny SRL Epenis.
———————————————————————
Successfully executed

That tells everything, ;)
Eerik.

Rofl I get that even with 10 rep and 110 post count =[

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
………
So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 3.6 inches long.


Wow! I am sorry, you have a tiny SRL Epenis.
———————————————————————
Successfully executed

From: FEAR
Rofl I get that even with 10 rep and 110 post count =[

Lol, my stats were same(10 rep and 250 posts.) put it into centimeters, so u will get bigger number(it's only a calculation though, but makes u feel better. :D)
Eerik.

From: heavenzeyez1
Lol, my stats were same(10 rep and 250 posts.) put it into centimeters, so u will get bigger number(it's only a calculation though, but makes u feel better. :D)
Eerik.

Lol wtf I got the same thing

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
………
So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 3.61 centimeters long.


Wow! I am sorry, you have a tiny SRL Epenis.
———————————————————————
Successfully executed

:p

Funny script lol, lemmie check post count

EDIT

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
………
So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 0,9906 centimeters long.


Wow! I am sorry, you have a tiny SRL Epenis.
———————————————————————
Successfully executed

Live is not worth it, I might as well throw myself of a bridge, I mean what am I suppossed to do with a 2,51" Penis? The meaning of live is no longer a meaning to me. :( :( :(



XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
.........
 So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 1784 inches long.
 
 
 Wow! Do You pass out when you get an erection?
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Successfully executed

lmao 1784 inches!!!!!!!!11thats with 9999999 srl stats xp and 5000 rep aand 3.5k posts.

Wait a second, you don't have 3.5k posts! And definately not 5k rep and 999999999 SRL stats exp!

Hmmmmmmmm, We Will Calculate The Size of Your SRL Epenis-
.........
 So by Internet standards, your SRL Epenis is: 4.96 inches long.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Not quite life size - need to times it by 10.

i haven't been here in a while :( glad to see this joke of a script is still being used it sure as hell gave me some laughs