goider
2007-12-02 12:15:25
I LOST THE GAME
Therefore, so did you.
“I lost!”
~ Captain Obvious on The Game
The Game, first played around the 111th century BC in North Western Europe and originally a serious event in which nations would play against each other in serious competition, is widely acknowledged to fuck people off.
Contents
[hide]
* 1 The Rules
* 2 The History of The Game(s)
o 2.1 The First Records
o 2.2 The Middle Ages
o 2.3 The World War II Game
o 2.4 The United Nations and Banning of The Game
o 2.5 The Revival of The Game
o 2.6 The Game 2 Released
o 2.7 The Game 2 House Party
o 2.8 The Songs written about the game
* 3 The Future of The Game(s)
o 3.1 The Game 2 "Killin' Large" Expansion Pack
o 3.2 The Predictions of The Game 2
o 3.3 The Guitar Hero
* 4 The Saying The Game
* 5 The More info
* 6 The Variations on The Game
* 7 The perpetual Losing The Game state theory
o 7.1 The Exceptions
* 8 The Winning of The Game
o 8.1 The Not Way To Not Win The Game
* 9 The Other-Other Game
* 10 The How to lose less
* 11 The Addictions
o 11.1 The Withdrawal Symptoms
* 12 The Additional notes
* 13 Definition of Irony
* 14 What Happens When You Say "I lost" in a Crowded Space
* 15 The External Links
* 16 See Also the…
The Rules
* Chuck Norris always win the game… ALWAYS.
* You do not talk about The Game.
* If you think about The Game, you lose The Game (so those of you who are reading this right now, you are just bunch of losers! Unless you don't think when you read, which makes you a loser anyway.)
* When you lose, tell everyone near you that you've just lost, making them lose.
* You can not stop playing The Game once informed of the rules.
* The only way to win The Game is if the Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland goes on international television and *bloody hell!* loses the game.
* You can only explain The Game when asked the right questions. eg. What are the rules of The Game? How do you play The Game? What is The Game?
* If you are asked about The Game, you HAVE to explain the rules. Jerk.
* Once you know about The Game, you have to play The Game. Not playing The Game is against the rules of The Game. You just lost The Game.
* If you die while not having lost The Game, you get a patch. If you die while losing The Game (See the World War II section), you are a loser forever.
* If you die in The Game, you die for real.
* When you die, you see your high score.
* Since The Game resets as soon as you forget about it (or 30 minutes for some. This has been widely disputed, and those who are mis-informed tend to make up their own time limit), you can technically NOT lose The Game just by always thinking about it; because it hasn't reset because you haven't forgot about it yet. Um . . . yeah . . . but then you'd be a total loser. And yes, you just lost. Unless, of course, you got here from an article like 'You'. So stop thinking about it if you want to win, or you're screwed.
* If this is your first time playing The Game, you have to lose.
* In only some places, it is possible to temporarily win the game by uttering "moo" or some independent combination of the letters M-O-O. However this only lasts until you realize you have said that, and then you lose, fool! D'oh I lost.
* If nOObs edit this they will be destroyed by the troll
(A n00b just edited this and got destroyed by a troll. He also lost.)
In conclusion, the only way out of The Game is to forget about The Game but if you do that you're winning The Game, which means you can't be out of it, since you're winning it. Ergo, there is no escape!
The History of The Game(s)
The only known people known to have won The Game are Willbeans, Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee and Pixie.
The First Records
The First Records of The Game were giant bass reliefs of Cthulhu playing it deep in the dark reaches of time.
The Middle Ages
After being so popular it was forgotten altogether, famous historian Oscar Wilde reintroduced The Game into the world around 1520. The Spanish and British famously used The Game to their advantage to conquer small, unexplored nations. The Spanish most famously used The Game to conquer the Aztecs. The Aztec version of The Game was when someone remembered, they won The Game, instead of losing it. The Spanish famously imposed their version of The Game upon Montezuma and this led to a rebellion that led to the destruction of the Aztec nations.
The World War II Game
Prime Minister Khrushchev famously protesting against unbanning The Game at the 73rd United Nations Conference
Prime Minister Khrushchev famously protesting against unbanning The Game at the 73rd United Nations Conference
The largest Game ever recorded was between the British and the Germans, most commonly called World War II. The stand off between Winston Churchill and Adolf Hitler lasted for 6 years. In both countries, the word "game" was banned and no person was allowed to say the word "fag". The Game ended in 1945 when Soviet leader Josef Stalin whispered "Remember the Game" in Adolf Hitler's ear during trade talks. Adolf Hitler retired to his chambers and committed suicide.
The United Nations and Banning of The Game
When the United Nations first met in 1945, the first bill passed was "Bill 001 - The Banning of The Game". This led to everyone winning the game and the game never to be played again. The bill passed by 5 votes, leading to riots in Cambodia, leaders in The Game at that point in time.
The Revival of The Game
In 1993, The Game was revived as a non-serious, fun pastime. Although there was some controversy at first (see the argument at the 73rd United Nations Conference), the United Nations officially changed "Bill 001" to allow friendly versions of The Game. The Game is still prohibited for any member of parliament worldwide.
The Game 2 Released
Just before the start of the second millennium (2000) there were lots of rumors that The Game 2 was about to be released. Due to the millennium bug, "Bill 001" was corrupted and coincidentally formed into "Bill 101 - The Return of The Game". So The Game 2 was released introducing more and powerful nuclear weapons, vehicles, spacecrafts, biological weapons, etc. Osama bin Laden hacked into the Game secretly using the "MS Regedit" (Registry Editor) just before Russia and USA did. Without George W. Bush knowing, command 9/11 was executed. Making USA lose a lot of points.
The Expansion pack 'The Game 2: House Party; is said to be in the pre-production stages as of yesterday.
Another name for the Game 2 would be The Matrix, who went into the past to tell us about the Matrix so we would make the Game 2 so we could make The Matrix. This is called a time-space Paradox. No johns.
You will only win and finish the campaign of the game once you forget The Game.
The Game 2 House Party
You got eaten by an Eurg.
The Songs written about the game
Many people throughout time have been inspired to write songs about the game through their sheer fustration at losing. Some famous examples include:
Kyle Minogue - "I Just Can't get it out of My Head"
Queen - "I Want to Break Free"
ABBA - "What's the Name of The Game"
Lacuna Coil - "The Game"
David Bowie - "It's No Game"
The BeeGees - "I Started a Joke" (Think about it.)
Maaike - "Ugly Anus-Born Kids"
Crispy - "The Game" (As ironically presented in the exciting 4-panel dance game, In The Groove. Even if you quad star, you still lost The Game.)
Chris Issac - "Wicked Game" (This is can be regarded as our modern experince of the depressing quality of The Game.)
Disturbed - "The Game" (A psychotic unintelligible rant about The Game.)
The Cardigans - "(I'm Losing) My Favourite Game"
The Game - "Hate it or Love it"
Bruce Dickenson - "Golden Plated Diapers"
Motorhead - "The Game"
Samuel L. Jackson - "I won The Motherfucking Game!"
The Future of The Game(s)
The Game 2 "Killin' Large" Expansion Pack
Although it is not yet released to the market and stores, some say that there are Beta and prototype versions of The Game 2 Expansion Pack. The Expansion Pack might include extra WMD (Weapons of Mass Destruction) strategies, 20x sniper zoom, professionally made political bullshit rules and the fix to the bug of when the game goes BSOD when Bush started earning points. There were no known association or corporation running this brand new project.
The Predictions of The Game 2
The prediction of The Game 2 might not be so pleasant. According to the Newton's law, an apple a day keeps the gravity away. Well, this simply means The End of the World. Refer to End of the World article.
The Guitar Hero
The Guitar hero is thought by modern scholars as the physical incarnate of the game. This is believed to be true by the subjective thought that there is no way to win either game. You can only play it a little better everytime you lose.
The Saying The Game
Remember The Game is always called "The Game" and it will always be "The Game". If you say "the Game" or just "Game" you are talking about something else. It will always be "The Game" and it will stay being "The Game", unless you are talking about "The Game 2" and remember not to spell it "The Game Two". The "The Game 2" cannot be typed " "The Game 2" " because it includes speech marks. So always type "The Game" or "The Game 2" without the " " " (speech marks). "The Game" is not to be confused with "The Game 2" because they are spelt totally differently.
The most important thing according to the rule is not to say "The Game" or "The Game" with the 2 at the end, and remember not two or Two but 2.
The More info
“I'M NOT FUCKING KIDDING!!! I WON THE DAMN GAME!!! JESUS SHIT!!!”
~ Oscar Wilde on The Game
* The Game created the universe as a means of being played.
* Contrary to popular opinion, hating the game is not okay. You should hate the player.
* The only known way to beat The Game is to use God(frey) Mode.
* Also, to announce that you have lost, popular phrases are:
o "I lose."
o "I lost my seagull."
o "I lost."
o "You lose."
o "You sons of bitches need to realize that you just mother fucking lost mother fucker!"
o "Dammit The Game!"
o "You won… But oh wait, you just lost!"
o "D'oh!"
o "You sunk my battle ship"
o "Bananaphone"
* The Game is notable for being the one game that Ender is incapable of winning. This is odd, as he can win the You Lose game, which is even more difficult to win than The Game.
* Pixie is the only person in recorded history to have won the game. Nobody but Pixie can win, period.
* Bryan Andrew Hoffmann can not lose the game.
* Whilst in the little known Alabamian town of Bessemer, you cannot lose the game, even if you do remember it. The reason for this is unknown but is currently the subject of much scientific research, the hope being to one day develop a cure for The Game.
* Harvard grads need not win the game.
* Everybody is banned from winning The Game.
* How are you gentlemen!! All The Game are been lost to you.
* Chimpanzees are really good at The Game, though you can usually distract them by showing them internet articles about how Bruce Lee can beat them up.
* On 24 September 2007, while speaking at Columbia University, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said, in answer to the question "Iranian women are now denied basic human rights and your government has imposed draconian punishments including execution on Iranian citizens who have lost The Game. Why are you doing those things?", "We don't have The Game, like in your country. I don't know who told you that."
The Variations on The Game
* (UK/Australia only) Should the current prime minister declare that he or she has lost The Game, all other players win the game and scores are reset. In many variations, this is the only way of winning.
* If you die within 30 minutes of someone else losing The Game, you're awarded an iron-on patch in the afterlife to recognize this game-winning accomplishment.
* Although this isn't a strategy or rule of The Game per se, the phrase "I just lost The Game" is a highly effective pick-up line. For more highly effective pick-up lines, consult Uncyclopedia.
* Many people say, "I lost the game- 1…2…3.." and then hit the nearest object, but this is usually done by stupid teenagers who are not worthy of The Game.
* In Hell, some people win The Game, but most will lose, and lose frequently. This offsets the winnings of Heaven as well as the few others who do actually win whilst in Hell.
* If a player sees another player lose on live TV, in a forum on the Internet, or hear them losing on live radio, then they win the game, until they realise they've lost.
* In Soviet Russia, The Game loses YOU!!
* At The Forum, a message board on GameFAQs, one loses the game by remembering that the user "Mr. Green" is black.
* The 534th greatest man alive, Gordon Lightfoot, mentioned the feeling of losing in his song "Sundown". The line "Sometimes, I think it's a sin when I feel like I'm winning when I'm losing again" is a clear reference to The Game, and helped Gordon to achieve ranking on the Greatest Man Alive Richter Scale.
* The first person to clap after some one else says "I lost The Game"i i i cant win the game wins The Game until they realize that they thought about The Game and therefore lose.
* If you lose the game and there is no person within earshot to announce it to, you must text/email at least one person telling them, in this way you transfer your losing making you win until you realize that you have won, when you lose again, etc.
* To win The Game, enter the hidden code in this article into the search bar.
The perpetual Losing The Game state theory
That guy, expert Game-ologist, stated that winning The Game is theoretically only possible in a few ways. The coolest and most accepted way: to ENSLAVE the HUMAN RACE in a perpetual "Losing the Game state". This is accomplished as thus:
Person A loses The Game, and stands up to announce it. Person B hears and thus loses The Game as well. Person B announces it, and person C, who is within earshot, also hears. This continues until everyone in the world loses The Game. By now, the 30 minute rule or whatever for Person A and B has expired. Person A, being the one who must win, is now somehow avoiding losing The Game. Person ZZZZZZZZ has lost the game, and stands up to announce it. Person B hears, and thus the entire process starts all over again. It will never end. The Game has enslaved EVERYONE, who now must constantly lose the game. Person A wins The Game.
The Exceptions
As with any enslaving the human race theory, there are some possible exceptions. People who can't hear, see, communicate, or be useful to society in any way. They cannot lose the game by conventional means. Thus, they must have 500 volts of electricity zapped through their heads in Morse Code for "I (stop) J-U-S-T (stop) L-O-S-T (stop) T-H-E (stop) G-A-M-E (stop)". They're either wondering "What's 'The Game'?" or "WHY THE FUCK DID I JUST GET 500 VOLTS OF ELECTRICITY THROUGH MY HEAD 50 TIMES?!?!" or they're not thinking at all. Assuming the first, you use the same Morse Code of Voltage to explain the Game to them. If the perpetual Losing the Game state works, a single 1000-volt shock will remind them about The Game, and that society hates them. :)
* Babies are engaged in The Game via telepathy, a very common skill
The Winning of The Game
“If man play Game, man bound to lose, or wait to lose, or lose weight.”
~ Confucius on The Game
You will win The Game when you finish your life you are living in right now without thinking about The Game. The trick to this is not to kill yourself because you know you are killing yourself because of The Game, so stay away from Uncyclopedia, stay away from the people who knows The Game and wait till you die without knowing you have just won.
Also, you can win if you don't give two shits about The Game (giving two shits is just the same as giving one). This doesn't work, because the only way to win is to not know about the game. Even if you don't care, you're still playing, and still losing. YOU JUST LOST THE GAME.
One way as retarded and suicidal as it may be will allow you to win The Game. Win you must give your self complete amnesia of The Game by sending thousands of volts of electricity through your brain and if that doesn't kill you lock your self in a room with no way to find out what The Game is or how its played. This method is not highly recommended.
Jean Paul Sartre, the existential philosopher mentions The Game in his novel "Nausea". The passage goes as follows:
"Three years ago I came solemnly to Bouville. I had lost the first round. I wanted to play the second and I lost again:
I lost the whole game. At the same time, I learned that you always lose. I mean, shit, only the rascals think they win." (pg. 157)
This disproves all theories of winning The Game. The "winners" are all fools.
Alas, despite this, there is but one secret way to never lose the game…
The Not Way To Not Win The Game
There is another Game. It is called The Other Game. Once you think about it, you win The Other Game. Then you lose The Game, but they both cancel each other out… And as long as you always keep a peice of metal within a ten feet radius of your dick (Or if you're a girl, then your pussy), then it will be automatic. Therefore even if you think about the game, the winning and losing will cancel each other out and you will never lose the game. Unless you say I Quit, because it is much easier to quit The Other Game than it is The Game. But if you decide to play both games, even though you will never lose, you will also never win. :O
The Other-Other Game
The rules of this are actually quite simple. Do not think about The Game or The Other Game, although in doing so you'd win The Other Game but lose The Game and The Other-Other Game. It is a highly debated issue, but it is also widely accepted by Africans everywhere.
The How to lose less
Winning the game is impossible, as has already been established. The only thing that you can do in order to save your soul from eternal damnation is to make other people lose more. The most obvious way to do this is to say something gay like, "I lost the Game"; but thats boring, dull and soon gets repetetetetetive. The best players are the ones who can think of the most imaginative way of making other lose, like:
* "I regret to inform you that you have just lost the game."
* "Your playing status has changed from winning to losing."
* [tap on shoulder] "I'm very sorry, did I just make you lose the game?"
* "Your winning streak has just been terminated."
* Make your 'friend' associate random things (like cats, or pens) with the game?
* Put notes saying on the the above in pages inside your friend's books.
* "I'm thinkin' Arby's"
There are unconfirmed reports of there being a special patch for the one who has come up with the most immaginative way of making someone else lose.
For veterans the game has begun to be less about yourself losing but more of the sad soul who you are making lose and the best way to do this is by puns.
* "I hear you have a chemistry exam! Will your magnesium being losing electrons?"
* "Actually I'm reading John Milton's Paradise Lost right now"
* "You read computer sciences at Cambridge? Much on game theory?"
The simplicity of the loss on the losers part is often more infuriating in this way.
The Addictions
The Game is highly addictive. Even more so than nicotine, heroin and stupid gay europop. The moment you have heard about it, it is far, far, far, far, far, (this goes on forever) too late. The only known cure for The Game addictions is Alzheimer's disease. You can increase your chances of developing Alzheimer's by having high blood pressure, being old, limiting vitamin E, C and Omega 3 fatty acid intakes, smoking, stopping all exercise, exposure to high levels of aluminum (UK: "aluminium"), binge drinking and sustaining severe head injuries frequently.
The Withdrawal Symptoms
(read more in the warranty and coverage of The Game)
If you are one of the lucky few who have managed to break free of The Game addiction somehow, there is a 99% chance you will experience at least 3 of the following withdrawal symptoms… Unfortunately, upon realizing you have these withdrawal symptons, you will remember The Game, and thus the positive effects will be lost forever…
* Eternal Happiness
* Improved Relationship with Game playing peers
* Calmer Temperament
* Purchaseing additional Guitar Hero controlers and assembling a double neck guitar similiar to the in game guitar. This is to manifest a desire to play multiplayer lose-lose situation by yourself.
* The Knowledge of the Meaning of Existence
* Improved Concentration Rate
* The ability to blow shit up with your mind
* Invisibility
* Euphoria
* Double jointedness
* A much larger penis (or if you are one of the two or three women on the internet that isn't really an elderly gentlemen pretending to be a woman, a sexier figure)
* Ability to make a really delicious baked dessert from scratch with no effort, and still not being gay
* Death - the most common of all the withdrawal symptoms, as you really do have to be dead to forget.
* Resistance to pain
* Turning into a Vega Clone
* Mind Bullets!!!
* The feeling that something important is missing in your life /cry
* Heroine
* X-Ray vision
The Additional notes
It is strongly rumoured that DHL deliver The Game.
The only known person to win the game was a certain George Forsbrook from stourbridge (England) he invented a time machine and went back to the point where he asked his friend how to play the game, at this point he jumped on his past self and knifed him repeatedly. Unfortunately when he went forward in time he was in an alternate future where he ceased to exist
Definition of Irony
"You just Won't win the game. Guy does Willbeans mother and is gay"
What Happens When You Say "I lost" in a Crowded Space
"I lost."
"Shit, I lost."
"Damn, I lost."
"I lost."
"Your mom lost!"
"Crap, I lost."
"Damn… I lost."
"I just lost."
"What the hell are you all talking about?!?!?!" (Fat kid in corner.)
"We lost."
"Lost what?!?!?"
"The Game."
"What Game?!?!?"
"The Game."
"What fucking game?!?!?!"
(Explains rules.)
(Fat Kid) "Damn….I lost."
(not my words, copied from: The Game)
YOU JUST LOST!:stirthepot:
Therefore, so did you.
“I lost!”
~ Captain Obvious on The Game
The Game, first played around the 111th century BC in North Western Europe and originally a serious event in which nations would play against each other in serious competition, is widely acknowledged to fuck people off.
Contents
[hide]
* 1 The Rules
* 2 The History of The Game(s)
o 2.1 The First Records
o 2.2 The Middle Ages
o 2.3 The World War II Game
o 2.4 The United Nations and Banning of The Game
o 2.5 The Revival of The Game
o 2.6 The Game 2 Released
o 2.7 The Game 2 House Party
o 2.8 The Songs written about the game
* 3 The Future of The Game(s)
o 3.1 The Game 2 "Killin' Large" Expansion Pack
o 3.2 The Predictions of The Game 2
o 3.3 The Guitar Hero
* 4 The Saying The Game
* 5 The More info
* 6 The Variations on The Game
* 7 The perpetual Losing The Game state theory
o 7.1 The Exceptions
* 8 The Winning of The Game
o 8.1 The Not Way To Not Win The Game
* 9 The Other-Other Game
* 10 The How to lose less
* 11 The Addictions
o 11.1 The Withdrawal Symptoms
* 12 The Additional notes
* 13 Definition of Irony
* 14 What Happens When You Say "I lost" in a Crowded Space
* 15 The External Links
* 16 See Also the…
The Rules
* Chuck Norris always win the game… ALWAYS.
* You do not talk about The Game.
* If you think about The Game, you lose The Game (so those of you who are reading this right now, you are just bunch of losers! Unless you don't think when you read, which makes you a loser anyway.)
* When you lose, tell everyone near you that you've just lost, making them lose.
* You can not stop playing The Game once informed of the rules.
* The only way to win The Game is if the Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland goes on international television and *bloody hell!* loses the game.
* You can only explain The Game when asked the right questions. eg. What are the rules of The Game? How do you play The Game? What is The Game?
* If you are asked about The Game, you HAVE to explain the rules. Jerk.
* Once you know about The Game, you have to play The Game. Not playing The Game is against the rules of The Game. You just lost The Game.
* If you die while not having lost The Game, you get a patch. If you die while losing The Game (See the World War II section), you are a loser forever.
* If you die in The Game, you die for real.
* When you die, you see your high score.
* Since The Game resets as soon as you forget about it (or 30 minutes for some. This has been widely disputed, and those who are mis-informed tend to make up their own time limit), you can technically NOT lose The Game just by always thinking about it; because it hasn't reset because you haven't forgot about it yet. Um . . . yeah . . . but then you'd be a total loser. And yes, you just lost. Unless, of course, you got here from an article like 'You'. So stop thinking about it if you want to win, or you're screwed.
* If this is your first time playing The Game, you have to lose.
* In only some places, it is possible to temporarily win the game by uttering "moo" or some independent combination of the letters M-O-O. However this only lasts until you realize you have said that, and then you lose, fool! D'oh I lost.
* If nOObs edit this they will be destroyed by the troll
(A n00b just edited this and got destroyed by a troll. He also lost.)
In conclusion, the only way out of The Game is to forget about The Game but if you do that you're winning The Game, which means you can't be out of it, since you're winning it. Ergo, there is no escape!
The History of The Game(s)
The only known people known to have won The Game are Willbeans, Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee and Pixie.
The First Records
The First Records of The Game were giant bass reliefs of Cthulhu playing it deep in the dark reaches of time.
The Middle Ages
After being so popular it was forgotten altogether, famous historian Oscar Wilde reintroduced The Game into the world around 1520. The Spanish and British famously used The Game to their advantage to conquer small, unexplored nations. The Spanish most famously used The Game to conquer the Aztecs. The Aztec version of The Game was when someone remembered, they won The Game, instead of losing it. The Spanish famously imposed their version of The Game upon Montezuma and this led to a rebellion that led to the destruction of the Aztec nations.
The World War II Game
Prime Minister Khrushchev famously protesting against unbanning The Game at the 73rd United Nations Conference
Prime Minister Khrushchev famously protesting against unbanning The Game at the 73rd United Nations Conference
The largest Game ever recorded was between the British and the Germans, most commonly called World War II. The stand off between Winston Churchill and Adolf Hitler lasted for 6 years. In both countries, the word "game" was banned and no person was allowed to say the word "fag". The Game ended in 1945 when Soviet leader Josef Stalin whispered "Remember the Game" in Adolf Hitler's ear during trade talks. Adolf Hitler retired to his chambers and committed suicide.
The United Nations and Banning of The Game
When the United Nations first met in 1945, the first bill passed was "Bill 001 - The Banning of The Game". This led to everyone winning the game and the game never to be played again. The bill passed by 5 votes, leading to riots in Cambodia, leaders in The Game at that point in time.
The Revival of The Game
In 1993, The Game was revived as a non-serious, fun pastime. Although there was some controversy at first (see the argument at the 73rd United Nations Conference), the United Nations officially changed "Bill 001" to allow friendly versions of The Game. The Game is still prohibited for any member of parliament worldwide.
The Game 2 Released
Just before the start of the second millennium (2000) there were lots of rumors that The Game 2 was about to be released. Due to the millennium bug, "Bill 001" was corrupted and coincidentally formed into "Bill 101 - The Return of The Game". So The Game 2 was released introducing more and powerful nuclear weapons, vehicles, spacecrafts, biological weapons, etc. Osama bin Laden hacked into the Game secretly using the "MS Regedit" (Registry Editor) just before Russia and USA did. Without George W. Bush knowing, command 9/11 was executed. Making USA lose a lot of points.
The Expansion pack 'The Game 2: House Party; is said to be in the pre-production stages as of yesterday.
Another name for the Game 2 would be The Matrix, who went into the past to tell us about the Matrix so we would make the Game 2 so we could make The Matrix. This is called a time-space Paradox. No johns.
You will only win and finish the campaign of the game once you forget The Game.
The Game 2 House Party
You got eaten by an Eurg.
The Songs written about the game
Many people throughout time have been inspired to write songs about the game through their sheer fustration at losing. Some famous examples include:
Kyle Minogue - "I Just Can't get it out of My Head"
Queen - "I Want to Break Free"
ABBA - "What's the Name of The Game"
Lacuna Coil - "The Game"
David Bowie - "It's No Game"
The BeeGees - "I Started a Joke" (Think about it.)
Maaike - "Ugly Anus-Born Kids"
Crispy - "The Game" (As ironically presented in the exciting 4-panel dance game, In The Groove. Even if you quad star, you still lost The Game.)
Chris Issac - "Wicked Game" (This is can be regarded as our modern experince of the depressing quality of The Game.)
Disturbed - "The Game" (A psychotic unintelligible rant about The Game.)
The Cardigans - "(I'm Losing) My Favourite Game"
The Game - "Hate it or Love it"
Bruce Dickenson - "Golden Plated Diapers"
Motorhead - "The Game"
Samuel L. Jackson - "I won The Motherfucking Game!"
The Future of The Game(s)
The Game 2 "Killin' Large" Expansion Pack
Although it is not yet released to the market and stores, some say that there are Beta and prototype versions of The Game 2 Expansion Pack. The Expansion Pack might include extra WMD (Weapons of Mass Destruction) strategies, 20x sniper zoom, professionally made political bullshit rules and the fix to the bug of when the game goes BSOD when Bush started earning points. There were no known association or corporation running this brand new project.
The Predictions of The Game 2
The prediction of The Game 2 might not be so pleasant. According to the Newton's law, an apple a day keeps the gravity away. Well, this simply means The End of the World. Refer to End of the World article.
The Guitar Hero
The Guitar hero is thought by modern scholars as the physical incarnate of the game. This is believed to be true by the subjective thought that there is no way to win either game. You can only play it a little better everytime you lose.
The Saying The Game
Remember The Game is always called "The Game" and it will always be "The Game". If you say "the Game" or just "Game" you are talking about something else. It will always be "The Game" and it will stay being "The Game", unless you are talking about "The Game 2" and remember not to spell it "The Game Two". The "The Game 2" cannot be typed " "The Game 2" " because it includes speech marks. So always type "The Game" or "The Game 2" without the " " " (speech marks). "The Game" is not to be confused with "The Game 2" because they are spelt totally differently.
The most important thing according to the rule is not to say "The Game" or "The Game" with the 2 at the end, and remember not two or Two but 2.
The More info
“I'M NOT FUCKING KIDDING!!! I WON THE DAMN GAME!!! JESUS SHIT!!!”
~ Oscar Wilde on The Game
* The Game created the universe as a means of being played.
* Contrary to popular opinion, hating the game is not okay. You should hate the player.
* The only known way to beat The Game is to use God(frey) Mode.
* Also, to announce that you have lost, popular phrases are:
o "I lose."
o "I lost my seagull."
o "I lost."
o "You lose."
o "You sons of bitches need to realize that you just mother fucking lost mother fucker!"
o "Dammit The Game!"
o "You won… But oh wait, you just lost!"
o "D'oh!"
o "You sunk my battle ship"
o "Bananaphone"
* The Game is notable for being the one game that Ender is incapable of winning. This is odd, as he can win the You Lose game, which is even more difficult to win than The Game.
* Pixie is the only person in recorded history to have won the game. Nobody but Pixie can win, period.
* Bryan Andrew Hoffmann can not lose the game.
* Whilst in the little known Alabamian town of Bessemer, you cannot lose the game, even if you do remember it. The reason for this is unknown but is currently the subject of much scientific research, the hope being to one day develop a cure for The Game.
* Harvard grads need not win the game.
* Everybody is banned from winning The Game.
* How are you gentlemen!! All The Game are been lost to you.
* Chimpanzees are really good at The Game, though you can usually distract them by showing them internet articles about how Bruce Lee can beat them up.
* On 24 September 2007, while speaking at Columbia University, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said, in answer to the question "Iranian women are now denied basic human rights and your government has imposed draconian punishments including execution on Iranian citizens who have lost The Game. Why are you doing those things?", "We don't have The Game, like in your country. I don't know who told you that."
The Variations on The Game
* (UK/Australia only) Should the current prime minister declare that he or she has lost The Game, all other players win the game and scores are reset. In many variations, this is the only way of winning.
* If you die within 30 minutes of someone else losing The Game, you're awarded an iron-on patch in the afterlife to recognize this game-winning accomplishment.
* Although this isn't a strategy or rule of The Game per se, the phrase "I just lost The Game" is a highly effective pick-up line. For more highly effective pick-up lines, consult Uncyclopedia.
* Many people say, "I lost the game- 1…2…3.." and then hit the nearest object, but this is usually done by stupid teenagers who are not worthy of The Game.
* In Hell, some people win The Game, but most will lose, and lose frequently. This offsets the winnings of Heaven as well as the few others who do actually win whilst in Hell.
* If a player sees another player lose on live TV, in a forum on the Internet, or hear them losing on live radio, then they win the game, until they realise they've lost.
* In Soviet Russia, The Game loses YOU!!
* At The Forum, a message board on GameFAQs, one loses the game by remembering that the user "Mr. Green" is black.
* The 534th greatest man alive, Gordon Lightfoot, mentioned the feeling of losing in his song "Sundown". The line "Sometimes, I think it's a sin when I feel like I'm winning when I'm losing again" is a clear reference to The Game, and helped Gordon to achieve ranking on the Greatest Man Alive Richter Scale.
* The first person to clap after some one else says "I lost The Game"i i i cant win the game wins The Game until they realize that they thought about The Game and therefore lose.
* If you lose the game and there is no person within earshot to announce it to, you must text/email at least one person telling them, in this way you transfer your losing making you win until you realize that you have won, when you lose again, etc.
* To win The Game, enter the hidden code in this article into the search bar.
The perpetual Losing The Game state theory
That guy, expert Game-ologist, stated that winning The Game is theoretically only possible in a few ways. The coolest and most accepted way: to ENSLAVE the HUMAN RACE in a perpetual "Losing the Game state". This is accomplished as thus:
Person A loses The Game, and stands up to announce it. Person B hears and thus loses The Game as well. Person B announces it, and person C, who is within earshot, also hears. This continues until everyone in the world loses The Game. By now, the 30 minute rule or whatever for Person A and B has expired. Person A, being the one who must win, is now somehow avoiding losing The Game. Person ZZZZZZZZ has lost the game, and stands up to announce it. Person B hears, and thus the entire process starts all over again. It will never end. The Game has enslaved EVERYONE, who now must constantly lose the game. Person A wins The Game.
The Exceptions
As with any enslaving the human race theory, there are some possible exceptions. People who can't hear, see, communicate, or be useful to society in any way. They cannot lose the game by conventional means. Thus, they must have 500 volts of electricity zapped through their heads in Morse Code for "I (stop) J-U-S-T (stop) L-O-S-T (stop) T-H-E (stop) G-A-M-E (stop)". They're either wondering "What's 'The Game'?" or "WHY THE FUCK DID I JUST GET 500 VOLTS OF ELECTRICITY THROUGH MY HEAD 50 TIMES?!?!" or they're not thinking at all. Assuming the first, you use the same Morse Code of Voltage to explain the Game to them. If the perpetual Losing the Game state works, a single 1000-volt shock will remind them about The Game, and that society hates them. :)
* Babies are engaged in The Game via telepathy, a very common skill
The Winning of The Game
“If man play Game, man bound to lose, or wait to lose, or lose weight.”
~ Confucius on The Game
You will win The Game when you finish your life you are living in right now without thinking about The Game. The trick to this is not to kill yourself because you know you are killing yourself because of The Game, so stay away from Uncyclopedia, stay away from the people who knows The Game and wait till you die without knowing you have just won.
Also, you can win if you don't give two shits about The Game (giving two shits is just the same as giving one). This doesn't work, because the only way to win is to not know about the game. Even if you don't care, you're still playing, and still losing. YOU JUST LOST THE GAME.
One way as retarded and suicidal as it may be will allow you to win The Game. Win you must give your self complete amnesia of The Game by sending thousands of volts of electricity through your brain and if that doesn't kill you lock your self in a room with no way to find out what The Game is or how its played. This method is not highly recommended.
Jean Paul Sartre, the existential philosopher mentions The Game in his novel "Nausea". The passage goes as follows:
"Three years ago I came solemnly to Bouville. I had lost the first round. I wanted to play the second and I lost again:
I lost the whole game. At the same time, I learned that you always lose. I mean, shit, only the rascals think they win." (pg. 157)
This disproves all theories of winning The Game. The "winners" are all fools.
Alas, despite this, there is but one secret way to never lose the game…
The Not Way To Not Win The Game
There is another Game. It is called The Other Game. Once you think about it, you win The Other Game. Then you lose The Game, but they both cancel each other out… And as long as you always keep a peice of metal within a ten feet radius of your dick (Or if you're a girl, then your pussy), then it will be automatic. Therefore even if you think about the game, the winning and losing will cancel each other out and you will never lose the game. Unless you say I Quit, because it is much easier to quit The Other Game than it is The Game. But if you decide to play both games, even though you will never lose, you will also never win. :O
The Other-Other Game
The rules of this are actually quite simple. Do not think about The Game or The Other Game, although in doing so you'd win The Other Game but lose The Game and The Other-Other Game. It is a highly debated issue, but it is also widely accepted by Africans everywhere.
The How to lose less
Winning the game is impossible, as has already been established. The only thing that you can do in order to save your soul from eternal damnation is to make other people lose more. The most obvious way to do this is to say something gay like, "I lost the Game"; but thats boring, dull and soon gets repetetetetetive. The best players are the ones who can think of the most imaginative way of making other lose, like:
* "I regret to inform you that you have just lost the game."
* "Your playing status has changed from winning to losing."
* [tap on shoulder] "I'm very sorry, did I just make you lose the game?"
* "Your winning streak has just been terminated."
* Make your 'friend' associate random things (like cats, or pens) with the game?
* Put notes saying on the the above in pages inside your friend's books.
* "I'm thinkin' Arby's"
There are unconfirmed reports of there being a special patch for the one who has come up with the most immaginative way of making someone else lose.
For veterans the game has begun to be less about yourself losing but more of the sad soul who you are making lose and the best way to do this is by puns.
* "I hear you have a chemistry exam! Will your magnesium being losing electrons?"
* "Actually I'm reading John Milton's Paradise Lost right now"
* "You read computer sciences at Cambridge? Much on game theory?"
The simplicity of the loss on the losers part is often more infuriating in this way.
The Addictions
The Game is highly addictive. Even more so than nicotine, heroin and stupid gay europop. The moment you have heard about it, it is far, far, far, far, far, (this goes on forever) too late. The only known cure for The Game addictions is Alzheimer's disease. You can increase your chances of developing Alzheimer's by having high blood pressure, being old, limiting vitamin E, C and Omega 3 fatty acid intakes, smoking, stopping all exercise, exposure to high levels of aluminum (UK: "aluminium"), binge drinking and sustaining severe head injuries frequently.
The Withdrawal Symptoms
(read more in the warranty and coverage of The Game)
If you are one of the lucky few who have managed to break free of The Game addiction somehow, there is a 99% chance you will experience at least 3 of the following withdrawal symptoms… Unfortunately, upon realizing you have these withdrawal symptons, you will remember The Game, and thus the positive effects will be lost forever…
* Eternal Happiness
* Improved Relationship with Game playing peers
* Calmer Temperament
* Purchaseing additional Guitar Hero controlers and assembling a double neck guitar similiar to the in game guitar. This is to manifest a desire to play multiplayer lose-lose situation by yourself.
* The Knowledge of the Meaning of Existence
* Improved Concentration Rate
* The ability to blow shit up with your mind
* Invisibility
* Euphoria
* Double jointedness
* A much larger penis (or if you are one of the two or three women on the internet that isn't really an elderly gentlemen pretending to be a woman, a sexier figure)
* Ability to make a really delicious baked dessert from scratch with no effort, and still not being gay
* Death - the most common of all the withdrawal symptoms, as you really do have to be dead to forget.
* Resistance to pain
* Turning into a Vega Clone
* Mind Bullets!!!
* The feeling that something important is missing in your life /cry
* Heroine
* X-Ray vision
The Additional notes
It is strongly rumoured that DHL deliver The Game.
The only known person to win the game was a certain George Forsbrook from stourbridge (England) he invented a time machine and went back to the point where he asked his friend how to play the game, at this point he jumped on his past self and knifed him repeatedly. Unfortunately when he went forward in time he was in an alternate future where he ceased to exist
Definition of Irony
"You just Won't win the game. Guy does Willbeans mother and is gay"
What Happens When You Say "I lost" in a Crowded Space
"I lost."
"Shit, I lost."
"Damn, I lost."
"I lost."
"Your mom lost!"
"Crap, I lost."
"Damn… I lost."
"I just lost."
"What the hell are you all talking about?!?!?!" (Fat kid in corner.)
"We lost."
"Lost what?!?!?"
"The Game."
"What Game?!?!?"
"The Game."
"What fucking game?!?!?!"
(Explains rules.)
(Fat Kid) "Damn….I lost."
(not my words, copied from: The Game)
YOU JUST LOST!:stirthepot: