SRL Archive - Blogs and Writing

"I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my
puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not
what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried
on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes
to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each
outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair
of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must
have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think
she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop
when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had
this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that
b*tch knows I'm smarter than her.

i didn't name the heading.. Nor did i write the story.. Let me just get that clear :p

You came up with this yourself? And this really happend to ya?
Cause I didn't know you tried to do bitches…

Inholtz, hes said he was 13 in the "How old are you" topic. This obviously isnt his true story :p.

Anyways, funny story. Guys should do that more when girls say that line.

ROFL!!! Thats fucking awesome. But we've always known that men are smarter :p

From: Brown
Inholtz, hes said he was 13 in the "How old are you" topic. This obviously isnt his true story :p.

Why do you assume that? Loads of people have sex at this age.

Spky, heres some things showing its not the story of any 13 year old.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair
of diamond earrings.

"I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

Sounds like 13 to me :p.

K, he's really only 13? Well his voices sounds like 16+ and his pretty face too :)

All of this arguable BrownTelecomSymcard. :D

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her

Holidays, I work in the holidays. my friend works in the holidays, My friend works 40 hours (hes 13) he earns around $500 a week. I dont work much at all, infact i milk cows )

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair
of diamond earrings.

So whats not 13 about that? I bought a $500 Diamond pendant for my gf,
and some diamond earrings go from 100-250.

[qutoe]"I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

LOL

btw kane… ur post count is 1317, in a few more seconds, (spamming post as u usually do ;) ) ull hit 1337

i've seen this posted on myspace before, i don't think kane wrote it at all he copied without giving credit :)

From: Renax
i've seen this posted on myspace before, i don't think kane wrote it at all he copied without giving credit :)

omg, not the all mighty xxKANExx:eek:

*Waits patiently for Jive to come*

Meh, No one really understands her..
*Waits for Bebe*

Thats better..:p

No duh Kane didn't write this *Points at quotation marks, actuly mark, you forgor the ending one :p*

Anyway, that is a funny story, but doesn't prove Men are smarter then Woman…. ;)
Plus the guy still didn't get sex…. MUAHAHA ;)

Sexists. That's bad, very bad.

From: The_Rs_Monkey
LOL

btw kane… ur post count is 1317, in a few more seconds, (spamming post as u usually do ;) ) ull hit 1337

You just spammed there. Atleast my posts actually have a meaning. And also, i've been around here alot longer than you, Just because you havn't seen all my posts dosn't mean i spam. This is your, what, 3rd post that says i spam? I think it's a lil vice versa here.

From: Inholtz
K, he's really only 13? Well his voices sounds like 16+ and his pretty face too

Thankyou. :p

From: Renax
i've seen this posted on myspace before, i don't think kane wrote it at all he copied without giving credit

I found it on another forum, there was no credit there so how was i supposed to know who originally wrote it? You don't see credit needed on Forwarded email chains.

And also, i didn't name the heading.. Nor did i write the story.. Let me just get that clear :p

Hahah thats pretty funny my gf is a pain in the ass.

thats hilarious, and men are smarter than women :)

"Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either….but at least that b*tch knows I'm smarter than her."

Omg, the ending is ALWAYS the best part!!

Apart from in clifhanger :rolleyes:

From: moparisthebest
thats hilarious, and men are smarter than women :)

Homophobe and Sexist.. Now all respect for you has gone.

Lol, I knew it wasn't Kane as soon as I read "You're just not on touch with my emotional needs":p

From: Cheesehunk
Lol, I knew it wasn't Kane as soon as I read "You're just not on touch with my emotional needs":p

You're no-where near my respect needs.

From: XxKanexX
Homophobe and Sexist.. Now all respect for you has gone.

Oh?
That's deserving of even more respect in my book.
:D

BTW, nice story.

From: XxKanexX
You're no-where near my respect needs.

I meant that in a good way, not a bad way..

From: Cheesehunk
I meant that in a good way, not a bad way..

So did i. :)

From: XxKanexX
So did i. :)

Wait, ftw?

Politically incorrect and veerrry sexist… Doesn't really prove anything 'bout smartness. Personally, I'd have dumped that female and gotten another one thats a little more slutty.:f:

Funny thou :D. Nice story!!!