SRL Archive - Discussions and Debates

Confused. Unbridled. Myopic. In case you can't tell, I'm making a direct reference to Jagex. With this letter, I hope to advocate concrete action and specific quantifiable goals. But first, I would like to make the following introductory remark: Jagex wants to abet ethnic genocide, dictatorships, and unctuous personæ non gratæ. You know what groups have historically wanted to do the same thing? Fascists and Nazis.

Jagex never tires of trying to extinguish fires with gasoline. It presumably hopes that the magic formula will work some day. In the meantime, it seems to have resolved to learn nothing from experience, which tells us that it plans to steal our birthrights. The result will be an amalgam of craven gangsterism and jackbooted oligarchism, if such a monster can be imagined. Not to be rude or anything, but Jagex's surrogates get a thrill out of protesting. They have no idea what causes they're fighting for or against. For them, going down to the local protest, carrying a sign, hanging out with Jagex, and meeting some other silly, froward schmucks is merely a social event. They're not even aware that Jagex keeps saying that it is known for its sound judgment, unerring foresight, and sagacious adaptation of means to ends. For some reason, Jagex's mercenaries actually believe this nonsense. But this is something to be filed away for future letters. At present, I wish to focus on only one thing: the fact that if Jagex had its way, schools would teach students that the media should "create" news rather than report it. This is not education but indoctrination. It prevents students from learning about how Jagex maliciously defames and damagingly misrepresents everyone and everything around it. There's a word for that: libel. Regardless of what Jagex seems to assert, it would be grossly premature for it to claim final victory. It would be impossible, even between the covers of a thousand volumes, to list and describe all of the overweening things that Jagex has done. Now, that last statement is a bit of an oversimplification, an overgeneralization. But it is nevertheless substantially true.

I can't predict the future, but I do know this: If Jagex got its way, it'd be able to rely on the psychological effects of terror to magnify the localized effects of its ideas so that, like a stone hurled into a pool of water, shock waves ripple from the epicenter of Jagex's attacks to the furthest reaches of the Earth. Brrrr! It sends chills down my spine just thinking about that. While there is no evidence that Jagex always sounds like it's reading a prepared speech, it is clear that ignorance is bliss. This may be why Jagex's faithfuls are generally all smiles. If Jagex makes fun of me or insults me, I hear it, and it hurts. But I take solace in the fact that I am still able to avoid the extremes of a pessimistic naturalism and an optimistic humanism by combining the truths of both. We must remove our chains and move towards the light. (In case you didn't understand that analogy, the chains symbolize Jagex's uncouth philippics, and the light represents the goal of getting all of us to overcome the obstacles that people like it establish.)

Jagex's statements such as "Sadism is a viable and vital objective for our nation's educational institutions" indicate that we're not all looking at the same set of facts. Fortunately, these facts are easily verifiable with a trip to the library by any open and honest individual. It's debatable whether I get concerned when I see Jagex break down age-old institutions and customs. However, no one can disagree that money and greed shape Jagex's thinking. In reaching that conclusion, I have made the usual assumption that no one has a higher opinion of it than I, and I think it's a cuckoo toughy. I no longer believe that trends like family breakdown, promiscuity, and violence are random events. Not only are they explicitly glorified and promoted by Jagex's paltry, quixotic précis, but there is no such thing as evil in the abstract. It exists only in the evil deeds of evil organizations like Jagex. Jagex says that violence and prejudice are funny. Yet it also wants to meddle in everyone else's affairs. Am I the only one who sees the irony there? I ask because it may be reasonably cunning with words. However, it is thoroughly vapid with everything else.

Jagex sees itself as a postmodern equivalent of Marx's proletariat, revolutionizing the world by wresting it from its oppressors (viz., those who question its authority). I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that Jagex's premise (that clever one-liners are a valid substitute for actual thinking) is its morality disguised as pretended neutrality. Jagex uses this disguised morality to support its criticisms, thereby making its argument self-refuting.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again, but the best gauge of the value of my attitudes, the sincerity of my convictions, and the force of my will is the hostility I receive from impudent, devious nincompoops. I don't think anyone questions that. But did you know that for all its bombast about freedom, liberty, and tolerance, it still wants to promulgate partisan prejudice against others? Jagex's pals don't represent an ideology. They don't represent a legitimate political group of people. They're just flat uncompanionable.

Jagex should think about how its convictions lead the most crapulous ragamuffins you'll ever see to cause riots in the streets. If Jagex doesn't want to think that hard, perhaps it should just keep quiet. If Jagex truly wanted to be helpful, it wouldn't abuse science by using it as a mechanism of ideology.

I'm willing to accept that wayward, shambolic adolescents have exerted care always to use high-sounding words like "counterrevolutionary" to hide Jagex's plans to create a climate of intimidation. I'm even willing to accept that it, in its hubris, has decided that it has the right to endorse a complete system of leadership by mobocracy. But it's a pity that two thousand years after Christ, the voices of callous flibbertigibbets like it can still be heard, worse still that they're listened to, and worst of all that anyone believes them. Throughout history, there has been a clash between those who wish to reveal some shocking facts about Jagex's vituperations and those who wish to use organized violence to suppress opposition. Naturally, Jagex belongs to the latter category. Jagex's intellectual dishonesty, mismanagement of facts, and outright lies make the worst sorts of headstrong, neurotic publishers of hate literature there are seem ready for sainthood, in comparison, the point being that it is the picture of the insane person on the street, babbling to a tree, a wall, or a cloud, which cannot and does not respond to its catch-phrases.

In order to maintain harmony with my conscience I must convince the government to clamp down hard on Jagex's smear tactics, right? Right. A great many of us don't want Jagex to waste taxpayers' money. But we feel a prodigious societal pressure to smile, to be nice, and not to object to its self-serving platitudes. Jagex has written volumes about how one can understand the elements of a scientific theory only by reference to the social condition and personal histories of the scientists involved. Don't believe a word of it, though. The truth is that its propositions have kept us separated for too long from the love, contributions, and challenges of our brothers and sisters in this wonderful adventure we share together – life! I could tell Jagex that what we are dealing with here is fashion, politics, and money, although it obviously doesn't care. I could tell it that when it is challenged, Jagex either denies everything or claims that its words were taken out of context and that its enemies are plotting against it, but it wouldn't believe me. Jagex probably also doesn't care that it is totally ridiculous that I have to be faced with serpents whose yawping lamentations are constantly treated with apathy. So let me appeal to whatever small semblance of reason Jagex may be capable of when I tell it that it should work with us, not step in at the eleventh hour and hog all the glory.

I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why it is probably safe to assume that Jagex has OD'd on neocolonialism. My peers maintain that Jagex's adages are dangerous to my health. While this is doubtlessly true, I aver we must add that when I observe Jagex's attendants' behavior, I can't help but recall the proverbial expression, "monkey see, monkey do". That's because, like it, they all want to manipulate public understanding of Bonapartism. Also, while a monkey might think that the Queen of England heads up the international drug cartel, the fact remains that once people obtain the critical skills that enable them to think and reflect and speculate independently, they'll realize that Jagex's strictures are not witty satire, as it would have you believe. They're simply the resentful, vitriolic ramblings of something that has no idea or appreciation of what it's mocking. Jagex is an opportunist. That is, it is an ideological chameleon, without any real morality, without a soul. Jagex feels obligated to erect a screen of flatulent verbiage to hide the real world from its victims. It follows from this that the purpose of this letter is far greater than to prove to you how virulent and surly it has become. The purpose of this letter is to get you to start thinking for yourself, to start thinking about how any rational argument must acknowledge this. Its stingy homilies, naturally, do not. When a political condition of greed, massive corruption, and diversity of objective is coupled to a social condition of drugs, violence, and discontent, therein exists the perfect environment for Jagex to base racial definitions on lineage, phrenological characteristics, skin hue, and religion. Summa summarum, I, not being one of the many uppity opportunists of this world, was personally offended – and I don't easily offend – by the value Jagex places on making me go crazy.

Can you give me a summary of that? I am way to lazy to read that all =S

Thats as short as it gets im afraid

hehe nah its generated from here - http://www.pakin.org/complaint/

pretty cool link :p

Why does Jagex resort to underhanded tactics? Anger? Fear? Stupidity? Some deep vitriolic urging of its soul? The answer cannot easily be found, but its double standards are worse than the Black Death of olden times. First off, its refrains are amalgams of popular themes among misguided autocrats, execrable backbiters, and unconscionable agitators. More than that, once one begins thinking about free speech, about conniving devotees of conspiracy theories who use ostracism and public opinion to prevent the airing of views contrary to their own inarticulate beliefs, one realizes that it frequently plays on our emotions. Let me try to explain what I mean by that in a single sentence: Its goal is to hoodoo us. This is abject Jacobinism!

I would like to digress here. I unmistakably do not intend this letter to be in any way misinterpreted as a personal attack on Jagex, but what makes matters totally intolerable is knowing that Jagex sometimes uses the word "homotransplantation" when describing its contrivances. Beware! This is a buzzword designed for emotional response. From what I understand, Jagex weeps crocodile tears for those who suffer as a result of its slurs. That's just a fancy way of saying that we need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with Jagex. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that I have begged Jagex's cat's-paws to step forth and weed out organizations like Jagex that have deceived, betrayed, and exploited us. To date, not a single soul has agreed to help in this fashion. Are they worried about how Jagex might retaliate? Let me give you a hint: There are some slatternly, obstreperous know-nothings who are piteous. There are also some who are drossy. Which category does Jagex fall into? If the question overwhelms you, I suggest you check "both".

Fortunately, the groundswell of quiet opposition to Jagex is getting less quiet and more organized. Still, Jagex loves chauvinism more than life itself. I mean, think about it. One last thing: Jagex has completely stepped off the deep end.

Favoritized link thanks!

Haha…I could use this for debating ;)

Speaking for the SRL community…what I offer here is an involved yet detached look at Jagex's assertions. Perhaps time, further study, and more reflection will either modify or enrich the analysis offered here, but Jagex's hypocrisy has reached a new low. For the sake of review, I honestly seek nothing but justice. Once we realize that, what do we do? The appropriate thing, in my judgment, is to challenge Jagex's hateful assumptions about merit. I say that because after hearing about its pestiferous attempts to convince impressionable young people that we should avoid personal responsibility, I was saddened. I was saddened that it has lowered itself to this level. I wish I could say this nicely, but I don't have much tolerance for malign gasbags: Jagex insists that there's no difference between normal people like you and me and filthy loan sharks. Sorry, Jagex, but, with apologies to Gershwin, "it ain't necessarily so." I am, of course, referring to a recent occurrence which is so well-known, it requires no comment, except to add that if you're the type who dares to think for yourself, then you've probably already determined that if you intend to challenge someone's assertions, you need to present a counterargument. Jagex provides none.

I've never bothered Jagex. Yet Jagex wants to provide financial support to backwards banana republics and their truculent dictators. Whatever happened to "live and let live"? I will never give up. I will never stop trying. And I will use every avenue possible to give the needy a helping hand, as opposed to an elbow in the face.

This is well illustrated in what remains one of the most divisive issues of our day: escapism. Jagex has OD'd on nonrepresentationalism. It follows from this that while it insists that national-security interests can and should be sidestepped whenever its institutional interests are at stake, reality dictates otherwise. Actually, if you want a real dose of reality, look at how if we contradict Jagex, we are labelled sententious bureaucrats. If we capitulate, however, we forfeit our freedoms. A recent series of hearings, lawsuits, and media reports demonstrates that I, speaking as someone who is not a feral deviant, want nothing more – or less – than to cast a gimlet eye on Jagex's teachings. To that task I have consecrated my life, and I invite you to do likewise. In point of fact, Jagex says that its ideas are all sweetness and light. What balderdash! What impudence! What treachery! I know the following is a cheap shot, but I have never been in favor of being gratuitously anal-retentive. I have also never been in favor of sticking my head in the sand or of refusing to disentangle people from the snares set by Jagex and its expositors.

Some people consider Jagex's inclinations a necessary evil, but the truth is that I want to see all of us working together to think outside the box. Yes, this is an idealistic approach to actualizing our restorative goals. Nevertheless, you should realize that we could opt to sit back and let Jagex procure explosive devices, gasoline, and detonators for use in an upcoming campaign of terror. Most people, however, would argue that the cost in people's lives and self-esteem is an extremely high price to pay for such inaction on our part. Here's a specific example of the way in which Jagex will adopt or abandon any principle to obtain power: It wants to use organized violence to suppress opposition. I predict that within a short period of time, people will generally agree that Jagex's simplistic reasoning follows the same fallacies as so many other treatises on similar issues. This is a prediction that will not be true in all cases, but it is expected to become more common as time passes. Sordid chiselers serve as the priests in Jagex's cult of impudent, stolid elitism. These "priests" spend their days basking in Jagex's reflected glory, pausing only when Jagex instructs them to expose and neutralize its enemies rather than sit at the same table and negotiate. What could be more nugatory? I'll tell you what I think the answer is. I can't prove it, but if I'm correct, events soon will prove me right. I think that if it would abandon its name-calling and false dichotomies it would be much easier for me to challenge it to defend its doctrines or else to change them.

I don't know when immoralism became chic, but we must serve on the side of Truth. If we fail in this, we are not failing someone else; we are not disrupting some interest separate from ourselves. Rather, it is we who suffer when we neglect to observe that when I'm through with Jagex, it'll think twice before attempting to shatter other people's lives and dreams. Fortunately, the groundswell of quiet opposition to Jagex is getting less quiet and more organized. Still, it doesn't do us much good to become angry and wave our arms and shout about the evils of Jagex's suggestions in general terms. If we want other people to agree with us and join forces with us, then we must bring the communion of knowledge to all of us. Although Jagex babbles on and on about Maoism, it has no more conception of it than any other disruptive simpleton. There is no place in this country where we are safe from Jagex's flunkies, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack.

Relative to just a few years ago, illogical warmongers are nearly ten times as likely to believe that courtesy and manners don't count for anything. This is neither a coincidence nor simply a sign of the times. Rather, it reflects a sophisticated, psychological warfare program designed by Jagex to plague our minds. I have a plan to examine the warp and woof of Jagex's tirades. I call this plan "Operation embrace the cause of self-determination and recognize the leading role and clearer understanding of those people for whom the quintessential struggle is an encompassing liberation movement against the totality of nihilism". (Granted, I need a shorter, catchier name, but that one will do for now.) My plan's underlying motif is that in order to convince us that "metanarratives" are the root of tyranny, lawlessness, overpopulation, racial hatred, world hunger, disease, and rank stupidity, Jagex often turns to the old propagandist trick of comparing results brought about by entirely dissimilar causes.

At the risk of shocking you further, I shall point out that there must be justice for all of us or there will be peace for none. It's that simple. After being called a macabre extortionist a hundred times or so by Jagex and its allies, I have reached the conclusion that the poisonous wine of incendiarism had been distilled long before Jagex entered the scene. Jagex is merely the agent decanting the poisonous fluid from its bottle into the jug that is world humanity.

Ignorant and highly emotional persons are frequently swayed by Jagex's bombast and fustian. For proof of this fact, I must point out that Jagex somehow manages to maintain a straight face when saying that we can change the truth if we don't like it the way it is. I am greatly grieved by this occurrence of falsehood and fantastic storytelling which is the resultant of layers of social dishevelment and disillusionment amongst the fine citizens of a once organized, motivated, and cognitively enlightened civilization. It frustrates Jagex that it can't shut me up. What's my problem, then? Allow me to present it in the form of a question: Why is Jagex so compelled to complain about situations over which it has no control? One might as well ask, "What exactly is Jagex trying to hide?" That's the big question. If you knew the answer to that then you'd also know why Jagex labels anyone it doesn't like as "distasteful". That might well be a better description of it.

Jagex's claim that its debauches are the result of a high-minded urge to do sociological research is not only an attack on the concept of objectivity, but an assault on the human mind. Jagex ignores a breathtaking number of facts, most notably:

Fact: Jagex favors the idea of a country based on perquisites and privileges.

Fact: The original purpose of misoneism was to spawn a society in which those with the most deviant lifestyle, short-sighted behavior, or personal failures are given the most by the government.

Fact: Jagex drools at the thought of swilling port and sherry at taxpayer expense.

In addition, Jagex keeps saying that it is the one who will lead us to our great shining future. For some reason, Jagex's loyalists actually believe this nonsense. Jagex wonders why everyone hates it. Apparently, it never stopped to think that maybe it's because this is a transparent attempt to paralyze any serious or firm decision and thereby become responsible for the weak and half-hearted execution of even the most necessary measures. We can therefore extrapolate that it is not just petty. It is unbelievably, astronomically petty.

I challenge Jagex to point out any text in this letter that proposes that its fibs are our final line of defense against tyrrany. It isn't there. There's neither a hint nor a suggestion of such a thing. It is never easy to judge what the most appropriate or effective response to Jagex's pharisaical, sleazy demands is, but one unfortunate fact remains clear: If you've never seen Jagex lead an active disinformation campaign, you're either incredibly unobservant or are concealing the truth from yourself. I have now said everything there is to say. So, to summarize it all, it's ludicrous to believe that law and order can be maintained by letting Jagex's acolytes use terms of opprobrium such as "supercilious rabble-rousers" and "headlong, brusque big-labor bosses" to castigate whomever Jagex opposes.

Please tell me what the fuck is going on?!

that it plans to steal our birthrights

Umm, if someone understood the link, tell me how the hell is jagex gonna steal our birthrights?

I checked the link and wtf there wasnt any "text" like claw'z post?

lol.. hillariaus!

From: n3ss3s
I checked the link and wtf there wasnt any "text" like claw'z post?

LOL, if you really checked the link. you would realise it makes up fake complaints XD AHAHAHHAH lol

I checked the link and realized it makes complaints, not fake complaints :D

Oh the thing made the whole thing?? GOsh im st000pid…

EDIT: sry for double post..

How about you merge your posts?

Yea, very cool link.

Also, when posting long things like that, please keep it in quotes…

In all my letters, I try harder than anything else to make myself clear. I try to state things as simply and unambiguously as I can, because I find that that's the best way to convince my readers that I will let Jagex's record speak for itself. Some background is in order: This is not the place to develop that subject. It demands many pages of analysis, which I can't spare in this letter. Instead, I'll just state the key point, which is that Jagex is frightened that we might serve on the side of Truth. That's why it's trying so hard to prevent whistleblowers from reporting that if I am correctly informed, it is unable to use the English language effectively or correctly. In any case, if I seem a bit rebarbative, it's only because I'm trying to communicate with Jagex on its own level. We'd all be in grave danger if Jagex continued to engage in its sententious behavior. Although Jagex has managed to avoid indictment, or even a consensus that it did anything illegal, if it honestly believes that some of my points are not valid, I would love to get some specific feedback from it.

Some critics have called Jagex disorderly. A handful insist it's longiloquent. Its co-conspirators, on the other hand, consider it to be one of the great minds of this century. After all, if Jagex continues to thrust all of us into scenarios rife with personal animosities and petty resentments, I will surely be obliged to do something about it. And you know me: I myself never neglect my obligations.

Although it would be a semantic quibble to deny that Jagex has always favored providing a privileged and protected status for the worst types of subhuman, foolish nutters there are, Jagex pompously claims that we should abandon the institutionalized and revered concept of democracy. That sort of nonsense impresses many people, unfortunately. Is this anything other than featherbrained despotism? The answer is obvious if you happen to notice that if I withheld my feelings on this matter, I'd be no less tendentious than Jagex. Although there are no formal, external validating criteria for Jagex's unambitious, mudslinging claims, I think we can safely say that its memoirs are built on lies and they depend on make-believe for their continuation.

Jagex can't attack my ideas, so it attacks me. It could be worse, I suppose. It could commit all sorts of mortal sins – not to mention an uncountable number of venial ones. Jagex has nothing but contempt for you, and you don't even know it. That's why I feel obligated to inform you that I am not fooled by its mad and eristic rhetoric. I therefore gladly accept the responsibility of notifying others that Jagex thinks I'm trying to say that its values are not worth getting outraged about. Wait! I just heard something. Oh, never mind; it's just the sound of the point zooming way over Jagex's head. Jagex's notions are based on a denial of reality, on the substitution of a deliberately falsified picture of the world in place of reality. And this dishonesty, this refusal to admit the truth, will have some very serious consequences for all of us by next weekend. Jagex seems to have recently added the word "phytopaleontological" to its otherwise simplistic vocabulary. I suppose it intends to use big words like that to obscure the fact that its deeds symbolize lawlessness, violence, and misguided rebellion – extreme liberty for a few, even if the rest of us lose more than a little freedom.

Jagex extricates itself from difficulty by intrigue, by chicanery, by dissimulation, by trimming, by an untruth, by an injustice. I know more about Stalinism than most people. You might even say that I'm an expert on the subject. I can therefore state with confidence that Jagex's expositors fail to recognize that Jagex is apt to respond to this letter in the same emotional way that a devout Christian in the 15th century might have responded to someone who announced publicly that he didn't believe in the virgin birth. That conclusion is not based on some sort of ostentatious philosophy or on Jagex-style mental masturbation, but on widely known and proven principles of science. These principles explain that it's brutal for Jagex to teach the next generation how to hate – and whom to hate. Or perhaps I should say, it's hidebound. Jagex's quasi-immoral tracts cripple its enemies politically, economically, socially, morally, and psychologically. News of this deviousness must spread like wildfire if we are ever to give it condign punishment. Let me go on record as saying that I have a message for Jagex. My message is that, for the good of us all, it should never undermine the intellectual purpose of higher education. It should never even try to do such a stultiloquent thing. To make myself perfectly clear, by "never", I don't mean "maybe", "sometimes", or "it depends". I mean only that I have to laugh when Jagex says that a knowledge of correct diction, even if unused, evinces a superiority that covers cowardice or stupidity. Where in the world did it get that idea? Not only does that idea contain absolutely no substance whatsoever, but it is known for walking into crowded rooms and telling everyone there that it can walk on water. Try, if you can, to concoct a statement better calculated to show how scabrous Jagex is. You can't do it. Not only that, but if it feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing it, then that's just too darn bad. Jagex's arrogance has brought this upon itself.

This should be a chance to examine and bring problems to light, to share and join in understanding, but Jagex's hatchet men think that Jagex is a model organization. This is precisely the non-equation that Jagex is trying to patch together. What it's missing, as usual, is that if it got its way, it'd be able to feed us ever-larger doses of its lies and crackpot assumptions. Brrrr! It sends chills down my spine just thinking about that. Jagex says it's going to make serious dialogue difficult or impossible sooner or later. Is it out of its mind? The answer is fairly obvious when you consider that its lalochezia is downright annoying. I know you're wondering why I just wrote that. I'll explain shortly, but first, I should state that Jagex's loyalists argue that it is the way, the truth, and the light. These are the same amateurish slubberdegullions who condone illegal activities. This is no coincidence; Jagex keeps saying that it is always being misrepresented and/or persecuted. Isn't that claim getting a little shopworn? I mean, everybody is probably familiar with the cliche that it is a sad state of affairs when brutish social outcasts like it create catchy, new terms for boring, old issues. Well, there's a lot of truth in that cliche.

Mutual efforts against misguided, abusive sadism are not just an educational process designed to teach people that we might be able to explain away many of Jagex's presumptuous litanies as being merely the effect of bad drugs. These efforts also serve as a beacon, warning the world of the rapacious consequences of Jagex's biggety practices. Jagex wants us to believe that we can solve all of our problems by giving it lots of money. We might as well toss that money down a well, because we'll never see it again. What we will see, however, is that there is a problem here. A very large, bookish, capricious problem. In order for us to realize more happiness in our lives, we need to understand that if Jagex can one day overthrow the government and eliminate the money system, then the long descent into night is sure to follow. For heaven's sake, if Jagex were paying attention – which it would seem it is not, as I've already gone over this – it'd see that I can no longer get very excited about any revelation of its hypocrisy or crookedness. It's what I've come to expect by now.

Jagex somehow manages to maintain a straight face when saying that the media should "create" news rather than report it. I am greatly grieved by this occurrence of falsehood and fantastic storytelling which is the resultant of layers of social dishevelment and disillusionment amongst the fine citizens of a once organized, motivated, and cognitively enlightened civilization. Jagex uses big words like "internationalization" to make itself sound important. For that matter, benevolent Nature has equipped another puny creature, the skunk, with a means of making itself seem important, too. Although Jagex's catch-phrases may reek like a skunk, I'm willing to accept that the ability to artistically arrange words in an amusing manner does not qualify someone to be the leading social voice of a country. I'm even willing to accept that the success of its views relies upon the average voter not knowing whether our nation has gone communist, socialist, fascist, or merely insane. But it has stated that the best way to make a point is with foaming-at-the-mouth rhetoric and letters filled primarily with exclamation points. One clear inference from that statement – an inference that is never really disavowed – is that profits come before people. Now that's just huffy. If you look back over some of my older letters, you'll see that I predicted that Jagex would destroy everything beautiful and good. And, as I predicted, it did. But you know, that was not a difficult prediction to make. Anyone who has bothered to learn even a little about Jagex could have made the same prediction.

If truth, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder, then I appreciate feedback and other people's views on subjects. I don't, however, appreciate feedback when it's given in an unprofessional manner. Although Jagex won't admit it, I sometimes ask myself whether the struggle to express my views is worth all of the potential consequences. And I consistently answer by saying that idle hands are the devil's tools. That's why Jagex spends its leisure time devising ever more wretched ways to focus too much on one side of the equation and not enough on the broader perspective of things. From this perspective, once people obtain the critical skills that enable them to think and reflect and speculate independently, they'll realize that in the Old Testament, the Book of Kings relates how the priests of Baal were slain for deceiving the people. I'm not suggesting that there be any contemporary parallel involving Jagex, but I plan to name and shame Jagex's cat's-paws for their lewd acts of pessimism. Are you with me – or against me? Whatever you decide, time cannot change Jagex's behavior. Time merely enlarges the field in which Jagex can, with ever-increasing intensity and thoroughness, waste natural resources. Jagex hates it when you say that it is penny wise and pound foolish. It really hates it when you say that. Try saying that to it sometime, if you have a thick skin and don't mind having it shriek insults at you.

Our path is set. By this, I mean that in order to build a better world, a cleaner world, a safer world, and a saner world, we must warn the public against those domineering crumbums whose positive accomplishments are always practically nil, but whose conceit can scarcely be excelled. I, speaking as someone who is not a slovenly paper-pusher, consider that requirement a small price to pay because I frequently wish to tell Jagex that we must assert ourselves as champions of freedom and stop its encroachments on our heritage. But being a generally genteel person, however, I always bite my tongue. Regardless of whether we consider Jagex a lunatic, an evil aggressor, or whatever, I plan to enhance people's curiosity, critical acumen, and aesthetic sensitivity. This is a choice I have made; your choice is up to you. But let me remind you that Jagex's more than censorious. It's mega-censorious. In fact, to understand just how censorious Jagex is, you first need to realize that the choice we face as a nation is whether to run our country ourselves or let boisterous, self-centered fanatics run it for us. But the problems with its jeremiads don't end there. Now that I've said what I had to say, I should remark that this letter may not endear me to some people. Indeed, it may even cost me a friend or two. However, friends do not let friends get trampled by blinkered, nettlesome boneheads like Jagex. The truth is the truth and we pay a steep price whenever we ignore it.

Seems like it's easier to read in quotes

Yea that's what it seems like, although it takes up the same amount of space :p

I was about to praise u on how literate u were but then i had a sudden urge to complain.

I have facts for those who think and arguments for those who reason. By way of introduction, let me just say that Mr. The Claw has no discernible talents. The only things he has sincerely mastered are biological functions. Well, I suppose Claw's also good at convincing people that he is a spokesman for God, but my point is that if Claw doesn't like it here, then perhaps he should go elsewhere. The important point here is not that it looks like I know some rapacious serpents who insist they once overheard him say, "I want to twist the history, sociology, and anthropology disseminated by our mass media and in our children's textbooks as soon as our backs are turned". The vital matter is that he is terrified that there might be an absolute reality outside himself, a reality that is what it is, regardless of his wishes, theories, hopes, daydreams, or decrees. Claw speaks like a true defender of the status quo – a status quo, we should not forget, that enables him to spit on sacred icons. For the most part, sectarianism is the last refuge of the brainless. Still, if he thinks that we ought to worship misguided crumbums as folk heroes, then he's sadly mistaken.

What I call contemptuous, fatuitous administrators are the lowest form of human life. I could write pages on the subject, but the following should suffice. Claw's faithfuls consider his wisecracks a breath of fresh air. I, however, find them more like the fetid odor of priggism. One indication of this is the fact that Claw's methods are much subtler now than ever before. Claw is more adept at hidden mind control and his techniques of social brainwash are much more appealingly streamlined and homogenized. I happen to believe that he says that the only way to expand one's mind is with drugs – or maybe even chocolate. What he means by this, of course, is that he wants free reign to contaminate clear thinking with his meretricious, shambolic orations.

Any meaningful analysis of the situation must allow for the fact that Claw is interpersonally exploitative. That is, he takes advantage of others to achieve his own unrestrained ends. Why does he do that? Well, while you're deliberating over that, let me ask you another question: Where do we go from here? Now, not to bombard you with too many questions, but he thinks that he acts in the name of equality and social justice. However, he and his understrappers are the most self-serving purveyors of malice and hatred you can imagine – and even then, only in your worst nightmares. I mean, really.

You don't have to say anything specifically about Claw for him to start attacking you. All you have to do is dare to imply that we should put to rest sinister and feckless effusions such as Claw's. Strange, isn't it, how spiteful, obnoxious mob bosses are always the first to recruit and encourage young people to prepare the ground for an ever-more vicious and brutal campaign of terror, just as older drug dealers use young kids to push drugs? All he really wants is to hang onto the perks he's getting from the system. That's all he really cares about. (The merits of Claw's strictures won't be discussed here, because they lack merit.) When a friend wants to drive inebriated, you try to stop him. Well, Claw is drunk with power, which is why we must restore the ancient traditions that he has abandoned.

I fear that, over time, Claw's plans for the future will be seen as uncontested fact, because many people are afraid to counteract the subtle, but pervasive, social message that says that 75 million years ago, a galactic tyrant named Xenu solved the overpopulation problem of his 76-planet federation by transporting the excess people to Earth, chaining them to volcanoes, and dropping H-bombs on them. It may not seem to be very important right now, but if Claw feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing him, then that's just too darn bad. His arrogance has brought this upon himself. And now, to end with a clever bit of doggerel: United we stand. Divided we fall. Mr. The Claw's bumptious subliminal psywar campaigns will destroy us all.

From: The Claw
Thats as short as it gets im afraid

hehe nah its generated from here - http://www.pakin.org/complaint/

pretty cool link :p

Hahaha..I'm having such a great time with that link right now :p

Hmm, I wonder what would happen if we'd send that claws first post to jagex? :O

Btw code, what happened to your SRL Sig maker status, since your name is still green?

I would like to clarify some comments I made recently regarding that Mr. TheClaw is a Douche bag. But first, let me pose you a question: Is TheClaw actually concerned about any of us, or does he just want to pit people against each other? After reading this letter, you'll certainly find it's the latter. Even if he is not conscious of the inner reason for his warnings, his spokesmen give him credit for things he hasn't done. That should serve as the final, ultimate, irrefutable proof that some people think it's a bit extreme of me to reveal the constant tension between centripetal and centrifugal forces of dialogized heteroglossia resulting from TheClaw's prophecies – a bit over the top, perhaps. Well, what I ought to remind such people is that TheClaw is like a giant octopus sprawling its slimy length over city, state, and nation. Like the octopus of real life, he operates under cover of self-created screen. TheClaw seizes in his long and powerful tentacles our executive officers, our legislative bodies, our schools, our courts, our newspapers, and every agency created for the public protection. I challenge TheClaw to point out any text in this letter that proposes that those who disagree with him should be cast into the outer darkness, should be shunned, should starve. It isn't there. There's neither a hint nor a suggestion of such a thing.

TheClaw promises that if we give him and his accomplices additional powers, he'll guard us from tasteless twerps. My question, however is, Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? – Who will guard the guards?

I am sorry to have to put this so bluntly, but I, for one, undeniably don't want to have to hear TheClaw's rambling streams of consciousness. I mean, think about it. Look at what's happened since TheClaw first ordered his forces to take control of a nation and suck it dry: Views once considered drossy are now considered ordinary. Views once considered jealous are now considered perfectly normal. And the most libidinous of TheClaw's views are now seen as gospel by legions of self-centered reprobates.

Despite what you may have been taught in school, for those of us who make our living trying to operate on today's real – not tomorrow's ideal – political terrain, it is important to consider that he somehow manages to maintain a straight face when saying that he knows 100% of everything 100% of the time. I am greatly grieved by this occurrence of falsehood and fantastic storytelling which is the resultant of layers of social dishevelment and disillusionment amongst the fine citizens of a once organized, motivated, and cognitively enlightened civilization. The gloss that TheClaw's satraps put on TheClaw's newsgroup postings unfortunately does little to spread the word about his simple-minded revenge fantasies to our friends, our neighbors, our relatives, our co-workers – even to strangers. I am declaring open season on chauvinistic egotists like TheClaw who destroy our youths' ability to relax, reflect, study, and meditate, and I'm not making that up! Sticks and stones may break my bones, but it takes more than a mass of shambolic, illiberal lummoxes to focus on concrete facts, on hard news, on analyzing and interpreting what's happening in the world. It takes a great many thoughtful and semi-thoughtful people who are willing to raise issues, as opposed to guns or knives.

Only the impartial and unimpassioned mind will even consider that TheClaw motivates people to join his gang by using words like "humanity", "compassion", and "unity". This is a great deception. What TheClaw really wants to do is engage in or goad others into engaging in illegal acts. That's why TheClaw is absolutely determined to believe that he is a spokesman for God, and he's not about to let facts or reason get in his way. TheClaw's reasoning is circular and therefore invalid. In other words, he always begins an argument with his conclusion (e.g., that the sun rises just for him) and therefore – not surprisingly – he always arrives at that very conclusion. I have given this issue a great deal of thought, and I now have a strong conviction that the messages contained in TheClaw's "compromises" are a powerful source of illumination on the behavior of stuck-up carpers. Period, finis, and Q.E.D.

As I gaze into my crystal ball, I see that TheClaw's stooges will create a world without history, without philosophy, without science, without reason – a world without beauty of any kind, without art, without literature, without culture – in a matter of days. Take, as an example, the way that TheClaw wants to pass off all sorts of piteous and obviously ghastly stuff on others as a so-called "inner experience". Well, he is careless with data, makes all sorts of causal interpretations of things without any real justification, has a way of combining disparate ideas that don't seem to hang together, seems to show a sort of pride in his own biases, gets into all sorts of aberrant speculation, and then makes no effort to test out his speculations – and that's just the short list!

Some of the facts I'm about to present may seem shocking. This they certainly are. However, my goal is to keep TheClaw's adherents at bay. I might not be successful at achieving that goal, but I really do have to try. How can TheClaw live with himself, knowing that his animadversions are a conduit that funnels perfidious thoughts into the heads of salacious brigands? That's the big question. If you knew the answer to that then you'd also know why if TheClaw is allowed to force me to undergo "treatment" to cure my "problem", the implications can be widespread. Get that straight, please. Any other thinking is blame-shoving or responsibility-dodging. Furthermore, I recently heard TheClaw tell a bunch of people that his hatchet jobs enhance performance standards, productivity, and competitiveness. I can't adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don't know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text. You'd think I'd be pretty well inured by now to the lunacies of his endeavors, but I have to say that he is the embodiment of everything petty in our lives. Every grievance, every envy, every churlish ideology finds expression in TheClaw is ADouchebag. Perhaps he received his information (or rather, misinformation) from late-night television programs and "B" movies.

When I say that I find TheClaw's artifices rather minatory, I don't just mean that he wants to incite pogroms, purges, and other mayhem, that he wants to ruin my entire day, or that he wants to dress up his profit motive in the cloak of selfless altruism. Sure, TheClaw decidedly wants all that, but he also wants much more. He wants to violate his pledge not to spoon-feed us his pabulum. We must ensure that we survive and emerge triumphant out of the coming chaos and destruction. Our children depend on that.

I don't know whether or not you've ever been physically present at a public demonstration by TheClaw's sycophants, but let me tell you, they're pretty obscene. TheClaw's off-the-cuff comments express themselves in thousandfold manifestations, with one of his slaves in despair and hopelessness, with another in ill will, anger, and indignation, with these cheeky dossers in indifference, and with those in furious excesses. The struggle against what I call headstrong drongos must be a struggle against resistentialism, cynicism, and denominationalism, or it is doomed to failure. This is equivalent to saying that I have a message for TheClaw. My message is that, for the good of us all, he should never spit in the face of propriety. He should never even try to do such an uneducated thing. To make myself perfectly clear, by "never", I don't mean "maybe", "sometimes", or "it depends". I mean only that TheClaw's desire to portray beer-guzzling, malicious-to-the-core fruitcakes as clodpolls is the chief sign that he's a harebrained, cantankerous prima donna. (The second sign is that TheClaw feels obliged to enshrine irrational fears and fancies as truth.)

How I pity TheClaw if I were to be his judge. I would start by notifying the jury that it's possible that TheClaw doesn't realize this because he has been ingrained with so much of faddism's propaganda. If that's the case, I recommend that we nourish children with good morals and self-esteem. I challenge you to ponder this subject with the broadest vision possible.

:p this is pretty cool.. and no point keeping it in quotes :p great find tho ;)

awwww cmon guys dont be so harsh on me :(

As a citizen of this country, which I believe in and which I have seen The Claw tear apart, I must reinforce the contentions of all reasonable people and confute those of bleeding-heart nabobs of racialism. There are a number of reasons The Claw isn't telling us as to why he wants to promote the total destruction of individuality in favor of an all-powerful group. In this letter, I will expose those reasons one-by-one, on the principle that by brainwashing his peons with insurrectionism, he makes them easy to lead, easy to program, and easy to enslave. At first, he just wanted to devalue me as a person. Then, he tried to support those for whom hatred has become a way of life. Who knows what he'll do next? Apparently, even know-it-all The Claw doesn't know the answer to that one. It wouldn't even matter if he did, given that his true goal is to encourage the acceptance of scapegoating and demonization. All the statements that his gofers make to justify or downplay that goal are only apologetics; they do nothing to provide a trenchant analysis of The Claw's criticisms. What this underlines, I think, is that by allowing him to palm off our present situation as the compelling ground for worldwide boosterism, we are allowing him to play puppet master. After having read this, you may think that The Claw manipulates public opinion through raw emotion, sexual desire, "family values", comedy, music, entertainment, false religion, social engineering, journalistic propaganda, and junk science. Nevertheless, you should always remember that he has a driving need to bring about a wonderland of paternalism.

#care

While no statement I'm about to make should be construed as suggesting or recommending that any person commit an illegal act of any kind, you should realize that Jagex is the most blatant enemy of peace, stability, and human progress the world has ever seen. Although my approach may appear a bit pedantic, by setting some generative point of view against a structural-taxonomical point of view or vice versa, I intend to argue that Jagex wants nothing less than to slow scientific progress, hence its repeated, almost hypnotic, insistence on the importance of its insensitive agendas. As a bastion of obstructionism, Jagex's obtrusive neocolonialism movement has become a menace – a menace, above all, to those of us who value liberty. In fact, I have said that to Jagex on many occasions and I will keep on saying it until it stops trying to blame our societal problems on handy scapegoats. I know the following is an incredibly cheap shot, but Jagex's opuscula stink of cover-ups, stalls, diversionary tactics, legal maneuverings, and other measures that invade every private corner and force every thought into an obstinate mold, so to speak. Having already explained that Jagex's hypocrisy comes out when it denies that it surrounds itself with footling quiddlers (especially the quasi-snappish type), let me now state that the point at which you discover that Jagex needs a refill of its medication is not only a moment of disenchantment. It is a moment of resolve, a determination that the time is always right to do what is right. That's why we must criticize the obvious incongruities presented by Jagex and its flunkies. The first step in that process is to realize that if my own experience has taught me anything, it's that the worst kinds of macabre franions there are serve as the priests in its cult of irritating fanaticism. These "priests" spend their days basking in Jagex's reflected glory, pausing only when Jagex instructs them to turn over our country to longiloquent dunderheads. What could be more addlepated? People often ask me that question. It's a difficult question to answer, however, because the querist generally wants a simple, concise answer. He doesn't want to hear a long, drawn-out explanation about how Jagex wants to get me thrown in jail. It can't cite a specific statute that I've violated, but it does believe that there must be some statute. This tells me that at no time in the past did the worst types of illiterate dipsomaniacs there are shamble through the streets of cities, demanding rights they imagine some supernatural power has bestowed upon them.

To repeat the mistakes of the past is an injustice. The central paradox of Jagex's expositions, the twist that makes Jagex's Ponzi schemes so irresistible to catty chiselers, is that these people truly believe that Jagex is a model organization. I'm not a cocky person. I'd like nothing more than to extend my hand in friendship to Jagex's satraps and convey my hope that in the days to come we can work together to deal with Jagex appropriately. Unfortunately, knowing them, they'd rather instill a general ennui because that's what Jagex wants.

Do you really think that it is forward-looking, open-minded, and creative, as Jagex claims? Wake up! If one dares to criticize even a single tenet of Jagex's metanarratives, one is promptly condemned as stuck-up, ridiculous, recalcitrant, or whatever epithet Jagex deems most appropriate, usually without much explanation.

The point is that if everyone spent just five minutes a day thinking about ways to tackle the multinational death machine that Jagex is currently constructing, we'd all be a lot better off. Is five minutes a day too much to ask for the promise of a better tomorrow? I sure hope not, but then again, as our society continues to unravel, more and more people will be grasping for straws, grasping for something to hold onto, grasping for something that promises to give them the sense of security and certainty that they so desperately need. These are the classes of people Jagex preys upon. If the past is any indication of the future, Jagex will once again attempt to make a fetish of the virtues of childish voyeurism. When a mistake is made, the smart thing to do is to admit it and reverse course. That takes real courage. The way that Jagex stubbornly refuses to own up to its mistakes serves only to convince me that phallocentrism has served as the justification for the butchering, torture, and enslavement of more people than any other "ism". That's why it's Jagex's favorite; it makes it easy for it to utilize questionable and illegal fund-raising techniques. Whenever Jagex is blamed for conspiring to brandish the word "nondenominationalism" (as it is commonly spelled) to hoodwink people into believing that the sun rises just for it, it blames its cohorts. Doing so reinforces their passivity and obedience and increases their guilt, shame, terror, and conformity, thereby making them far more willing to help Jagex make today's oppressiveness look like grade-school work compared to what it has planned for the future.

For reasons which I will adumbrate presently, Jagex likes credos that place disingenuous, lame-brained egotists at the head of a nationwide kakistocracy. Could there be a conflict of interest there? If you were to ask me, I'd say that it ignores a breathtaking number of facts, most notably:

Fact: Warped marauders have traditionally tried to piggyback on substantive issues to gain legitimacy for themselves.

Fact: According to its logic, it would be beneficial for contemptible, directionless cutthroats to popularize a genre of music whose graphic lyrics explicitly urge short-sighted blowhards to glorify invidious wonks.

Fact: It has an uncanny ability to thoroughly miss the point of any given issue.

In addition, the law is not just a moral stance. It is the consensus of society on our minimum standards of behavior. You can sum up Jagex's editorials in one word: lawless. Lest you think that I'm talking out of my hat here, I should point out that Jagex will inject its lethal poison into our children's minds and souls because it possesses a hatred that defies all logic and understanding, that cannot be quantified or reasoned away, and that savagely possesses morally crippled palookas with disreputable and uncontrollable rage.

We must learn to celebrate our diversity, not because it is the politically correct thing to do, but because its claim that we should be grateful for the precious freedom to be robbed and kicked in the face by such a noble creature as it is not only an attack on the concept of objectivity, but an assault on the human mind. A brief study of sociology will show one inescapable fact: We must upbraid Jagex for being so licentious. Those who claim otherwise do so only to justify their own jaded, sophomoric sentiments. All in all, Jagex's slogans should be labeled like a pack of cigarettes. I'm thinking of something along the lines of, "Warning: It has been determined that Jagex's bons mots are intended to lead a predatory jihad against those who oppose Jagex." Believe it or not, Jagex extricates itself from difficulty by intrigue, by chicanery, by dissimulation, by trimming, by an untruth, by an injustice. I have given this issue a great deal of thought, and I now have a strong conviction that if Jagex is going to talk about higher standards, then it needs to live by those higher standards.

Although Jagex has managed to avoid indictment, or even a consensus that it did anything illegal, its maudlin preoccupation with deconstructionism, usually sicklied over with such nonsense words as "electrotelethermometer", would make sense if a person's honor were determined strictly by his or her ability to make conditions far worse than could ever have been the case without Jagex's wishy-washy efforts. As that's not the case, we can conclude only that I recently informed it that its vassals turn peaceful gatherings into embarrassing scandals. Jagex said it'd "look further into the matter." Well, not too much further; after all, sometime in the future it will influence the attitudes of dominant culture towards any environment or activity that is predominantly unenlightened. Fortunately, that hasn't happened…yet. But it will indeed happen if we don't rub Jagex's nose in its own hypocrisy. Jagex should learn to appreciate what it has instead of feeling so oppressed because it can't do everything it wants, every time it wants to. If pharisaism were an Olympic sport, Jagex would clinch the gold medal. Looking at it on the bright side, in addition to communicating an understanding of the terrible danger we face, I need to think outside the box. Let me recap that for you, because it really is extraordinarily important: Jagex is absolutely determined to believe that hedonism is a viable and vital objective for our nation's educational institutions, and it's not about to let facts or reason get in its way. The next time someone says that there is an international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids, look that person right in the eye and reply, "Jagex's perversions have a devastating effect on the poor, the sick, and the elderly."

Whenever Jagex announces that those of us who oppose it would rather run than fight, its loyalists applaud on cue and the accolades are long and ostentatious. What's funny is that they don't provide similar feedback whenever I tell them that Jagex contends that it is a bearer and agent of the Creator's purpose. Sounds rather besotted, doesn't it? Well, that's Jagex for you. Jagex's scribblings represent a backward step of hundreds of years, a backward step into a chasm with no bottom save the endless darkness of death. Okay, now it's time to offend a few people. Actually, I hope not to offend anyone, although it's my understanding that the best advice I can give to a group is to illustrate the virtues that Jagex lacks – courage, truthfulness, courtesy, honesty, diligence, chivalry, loyalty, and industry. I submit that everyone should stop and mull that assertion. Then, you'll understand why Jagex appears to have found a new tool to use to help it enslave us, suppress our freedom, regiment our lives, confiscate our property, and dictate our values. That tool is animalism, and if you watch it wield it, you'll doubtlessly see why my position is that I can't help it if it can't take a joke. Jagex, in contrast, argues that the few of us who complain regularly about its beliefs (as I would certainly not call them logically reasoned arguments) are simply spoiling the party. This disagreement merely scratches the surface of the ideological chasm festering between me and Jagex. The only rational way to bridge this chasm is for it to admit that if it truly believes that it has the mandate of Heaven to tear down all theoretical frameworks for addressing the issue, then maybe it should enroll in Introduction to Reality 101.

Jagex has only one goal: to apotheosize doctrinaire administrators. At this point in the letter, I had planned to tell you that there's a contradiction between Jagex's simultaneous condemnation of lubricious gutter-dwellers and its imposition of jejune, jackbooted gangsterism. However, one of my colleagues pointed out that it should pay a price for its exploitative, uncouth positions. Hence, I discarded the discourse I had previously prepared and substituted the following discussion, in which I argue that I have begged Jagex's dupes to step forth and challenge Jagex's brutish assumptions about merit. To date, not a single soul has agreed to help in this fashion. Are they worried about how Jagex might retaliate? That's the big question. If you knew the answer to that then you'd also know why I have a dream, a mission, a set path that I would like to travel down. Specifically, my goal is to carve solutions that are neither self-indulgent nor harebrained. Of course, it says that a knowledge of correct diction, even if unused, evinces a superiority that covers cowardice or stupidity. That's its unvarying story, and it's a lie: an extremely balmy and intemperate lie. Unfortunately, it's a lie that is accepted unquestioningly, uncritically, by Jagex's emissaries.

Some people believe that Jagex's jibes are as devoid of meaning as the squawk of an angry bluejay. Others assert that none of Jagex's "progressive" ideas have actually resulted in any progress. In the interest of clearing up the confusion, I'll make the following observation: The real question here is not, "Where is Jagex's integrity?". The real question is rather, "Why doesn't Jagex reveal the truth about itself?" Although I haven't been able to concoct an acceptable answer to that question, I can suggest a tentative hypothesis. My hypothesis is that Jagex's goal is to tear down everything that can possibly be regarded as a support of cultural elevation. How perverted is that? How dissolute? How pathological? Let me mention again that if you can make any sense out Jagex's lazy wheelings and dealings, then you must have gotten higher marks in school than I did. Jagex loves getting up in front of people and telling them that children don't need as much psychological attentiveness, protection, and obedience training as the treasured household pet. It then boasts about how it'll consign most of us to the role of its servants or slaves in a lustrum or two. It's all part of the media spectacle that is Jagex. Of course, it soaks it up and wallows in it like a pig in mud. Speaking of pigs and mud, it will not be easy to offer true constructive criticism – listening to the whole issue, recognizing the problems, recognizing what is being done right, and getting involved to help remedy the problem. Nevertheless, we must attempt to do exactly that, for the overriding reason that it's really not bloody-mindedness that compels me to tell you things that it doesn't want you to know. It's my sense of responsibility to you, the reader. In closing this letter, let me point out that I would be remiss if I didn't remind you that I never asked Jagex to tell me how to live my life.

Am I the only one that read all of it to find it was a joke? :(

From: The Un-Named
Am I the only one that read all of it to find it was a joke? :(

Lol, no, i got more than halfway down before i realised i was laughing to hard for this to be serious. I love it.

Wow, lol, that's so hard to understand!! Hahaha awesome!

I occasionally receive inquiries from people who have read my previous letters and want to know why I feel that behind Jagex's mask of benevolence stands a complete plan for world government, world power, world conquest, and the promotion of foolish McCarthyism. I always try to answer such inquiries to the best of my ability and that's precisely what I'm about to do now. Let us note first of all that Jagex's stories about fetishism are particularly ridden with errors and distortions, even leaving aside the concept's initial implausibility. Jagex's beliefs (as I would certainly not call them logically reasoned arguments) share a number of characteristics. They subordinate all spheres of society to an ideological vision of organic community. They scrap the notion of national sovereignty. And they subordinate principles of fairness to less admirable criteria. Put together, these characteristics imply that Jagex insists that it's merely trying to make this world a better place in which to live. This fraud, this lie, is just one among the thousands they perpetrates.

When Jagex tells us that antinomianism is the only alternative to vigilantism, it somehow fails to mention that it should scarcely seem questionable to anyone that it treats serious issues callously and somewhat flippantly. It fails to mention that it fails to consider the consequences of its pronouncements. And it fails to mention that it would have us believe that it is beyond reproach. Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages from any book on the subject. Because I unfortunately lack the psychic powers that enable Jagex to "know" matters for which there is no reliable evidence, I cannot forecast when it will next try to burn its opponents at the stake. But I can unequivocally say that I have always been an independent thinker. I'm not influenced by popular trends, the media, or even so-called undisputed facts when parroted by others. Maybe that streak of independence is what first enabled me to see that Jagex's rejoinders are more than just diabolic. They're a revolt against nature.

If you want to hide something from Jagex, you just have to put it in a book. Hey, it's not my fault that if I try really, really hard, I can almost see why Jagex would want to sacrifice children on the twin altars of paternalism and greed.

You may be wondering why shabby goofballs latch onto Jagex's hatchet jobs. It's because people of that nature need to have rhetoric and dogma to recite during times of stress in order to cope. That's also why we have to start talking with one another honestly, in honest language. Now that's a rather crude and simplistic statement and, in many cases, it may not even be literally true. But there is a sense in which it is generally true, a sense in which it certainly expresses how Jagex has been known to say that I'm too gin-swilling to pronounce the truth and renounce the lies. That notion is so wily, I hardly know where to begin refuting it. Some would say that this is a platitude. Would that it were! Rather, Jagex's hariolations are not our only concern. To state the matter in a few words, Jagex appears to have found a new tool to use to help it up the ante considerably. That tool is masochism, and if you watch it wield it, you'll indubitably see why it claims to have turned over a new leaf shortly after getting caught trying to rewrite and reword much of humanity's formative works to favor tribalism. This claim is an outright lie that is still being circulated by Jagex's dupes. The truth is that according to Jagex, "the norm" shouldn't have to worry about how the exceptions feel. It might as well be reading tea leaves or tossing chicken bones on the floor for divination about what's true and what isn't. Maybe then Jagex would realize that when I say that its platitudes are phlegmatic, I mean it. I don't mean that they remind me of something phlegmatic or that they have one or two phlegmatic characteristics. I mean that they are phlegmatic. In fact, the most phlegmatic thing about them is the way that they prevent people from seeing that Jagex has a knack for convincing dysfunctional lowbrows that divine ichor flows through its veins. That's called marketing. The underlying trick is to use sesquipedalian terms like "counterdisengagement" and "protobasidiomycetous" to keep its sales pitch from sounding xenophobic. That's why you really have to look hard to see that Jagex insists that mediocrity is a worthwhile goal. How can it be so blind? Very easily. Basically, we must remove the misunderstanding that Jagex has created in the minds of myriad people throughout the world. Only then can a society free of its foul, recalcitrant obloquies blossom forth from the roots of the past. And only then will people come to understand that I am not concerned with rumors or hearsay about it. I am interested only in ascertained facts attested by published documents, and in these primarily as an illustration that those who fight against Jagex's resentful, overbearing theatrics are inevitably branded as soulless and unreasonable by Jagex's lackeys. I trust that I have not shocked any of you by writing that. However, I do realize that some of my readers may feel that much of what I have penned about Jagex in this letter is heartless and in violation of our Christian duty to love everyone. If so, I can say only that given a choice of having Jagex displace meaningful discussion of an issue's merit or demerit with hunch and emotion or having my bicuspids extracted sans Novocaine, I would embrace the pliers, purchase some Polident Partials, and call it a day. I can guarantee the readers of this letter that my love for people necessitates that I take a strong position on Jagex's sermons, which, after all, twist the truth. Yes, I face opposition from Jagex. However, this is not a reason to quit but to strive harder. Let's just ignore Jagex and see what it does.

What I call malicious flibbertigibbets are sharply focused on an immediate goal: to wiretap all of our telephones and computers. Because we have the determination to see the truth prevail, we must never forget that Jagex likes convictions that cover up its criminal ineptitude. Could there be a conflict of interest there? If you were to ask me, I'd say that it wants to inspire a recrudescence of confused fatuity. What does it think it is? I mean, the agenda that it is attempting to advance is one of fanaticism, repression, and cronyism. We can therefore extrapolate that sometime in the future it will deny citizens the ability to become informed about the destruction that it is capable of. Fortunately, that hasn't happened…yet. But it will indeed happen if we don't challenge Jagex's misinformed assumptions about merit. I believe, way deep down, that Jagex's words are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're entirely pertinacious, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, certain facts are clear. For instance, Jagex deeply believes that its intimations are Holy Writ. Meanwhile, back on Earth, the truth is very simple: I want my life to count. I want to be part of something significant and lasting. I want to acknowledge that Jagex uses a litany of euphemisms, buzz words, and doublespeak to help it sell otherwise perfectly reasonable people the idée fixe that this is the best of all possible worlds and that it is the best of all possible organizations. More often than not, if the past is any indication of the future, Jagex will once again attempt to intensify or perpetuate interdenominationalism.

Jagex is controlling and demanding. If that fact hurts, get over it; it's called reality. And for another dose of reality, consider that Jagex has for a long time been arguing that embracing a system of fogyism will make everything right with the world. Had it instead been arguing that I must fight the good fight if we are fully to appreciate the entire menace represented by scurrilous wimps, I might cede it its point. As it stands, the leap of faith required to bridge the logical gap in Jagex's arguments is simply too terrifying for me to contemplate. What I do often contemplate, however, is how I can say one thing about it. It understands better than any of us that psychological impact is paramount – not facts, not anybody's principles, not right and wrong. I'm not suggesting that we behave likewise. I'm suggesting only that I once overheard Jagex say something quite astonishing. Are you strapped in? Jagex said that everyone and everything discriminates against it – including the writing on the bathroom stalls. Can you believe that? At least its statement made me realize that its premise (that it can make all of our problems go away merely by sprinkling some sort of magic pink pixie dust over everything that it considers uncompromising or brazen) is its morality disguised as pretended neutrality. Jagex uses this disguised morality to support its belief systems, thereby making its argument self-refuting. I oppose Jagex's propositions because they are longiloquent. I oppose them because they are untrustworthy. And I oppose them because they will alter laws, language, and customs in the service of regulating social relations some day. We should not concern ourselves with Jagex's putative virtue or vice. Rather, we should concern ourselves with our own welfare and with the fact that several things Jagex has said have brought me to the boiling point. The statement of its that made the strongest impression on me, however, was something to the effect of how the majority of merciless traitors are heroes, if not saints.

I challenge all of the humorless propagandists out there to consider this: Jagex exhibits an air of superiority. You realize, of course, that that's really just a defense mechanism to cover up its obvious inferiority. As one commentator put it, I'm sure Jagex wouldn't want me to eavesdrop on its secret meetings. So why does it want to grant the worst kinds of disloyal rumormongers there are the keys to the kingdom? I can give you only my best estimate, made after long and anxious consideration, but I do not pose as an expert in these matters. I can say only that inasmuch as I disagree with its accusations and find its ad hominem attacks offensive, I am happy to meet its speech with more speech and, if necessary, continue this discussion until the truth shines. There are two flaws with Jagex's causeries: 1) it's time to step things up a notch and offer true constructive criticism – listening to the whole issue, recognizing the problems, recognizing what is being done right, and getting involved to help remedy the problem – and 2) Jagex complains a lot. What's ironic, though, is that it hasn't made even a single concrete suggestion for improvement or identified a single problem with the system as it exists today.

Let me try to put this in perspective: The main dissensus between me and Jagex is that I assert that Jagex's newsgroup postings are grounded in phony acts of kindness. It, on the other hand, contends that our unalienable rights are merely privileges that it can dole out or retract. What I have been writing up to this point is not what I initially intended to write in this letter. Instead, I decided it would be far more productive to tell you that at this point in the letter, I had planned to tell you that Jagex's treatises represent the most pea-brained form of moral turpitude conceivable. However, one of my colleagues pointed out that it can be distinguished only with difficulty which of its yes-men act out of inner stupidity or incompetence and which only pretend to for whatever maladroit, gruesome reason. Hence, I discarded the discourse I had previously prepared and substituted the following discussion, in which I argue that everybody is probably familiar with the cliche that an increasing number of people abhor Jagex's slovenly theories and are looking for alternatives, like the truth. Well, there's a lot of truth in that cliche.

Almost everyone will wholeheartedly agree that Jagex enjoys the sense of control that comes from forcing someone else to do things the way it wants them done, but the only weapons Jagex has in its intellectual arsenal are book burning, brainwashing, and intimidation. That's all it has, and it knows it. Jagex ignores the most basic ground rule of debate. In case you're not familiar with it, that rule is: attack the idea, not the person. Would Jagex like it if I were vulgar and quixotic, too? I don't think so.

Jagex would sooner get a lobotomy than get the facts out in the hope that somebody else will do something to solve the problem. From this anecdotal evidence, I would argue that if we let Jagex enshrine irrational fears and fancies as truth, then greed, corruption, and isolationism will characterize the government. Oppressive measures will be directed against citizens. And lies and deceit will be the stock-in-trade of the media and educational institutions. What I think – and I'm no specialist – is that I do not find suggestions that are rapacious, hectoring, and mentally deficient to be "funny". Maybe I lack a sense of humor, but maybe if you've read this far, then you probably either agree with me or are on the way to agreeing with me. Whatever your age, you now have only one choice. That choice is between a democratic, peace-loving regime that, you hope, may make this world a kinder, gentler place and, as the alternative, the delusional and crafty dirigisme currently being forced upon us by Jagex. Choose carefully, because someone has to be willing to stop the Huns at the gate. Even if it's not polite to do so. Even if it hurts a lot of people's feelings. Even if everyone else is pretending that Jagex acts in the public interest. Just think: There are some simple truths in this world. First, nobody ever went broke underestimating Jagex's intelligence. Second, my motivations for writing this letter are not of insult or hatred, but of the deepest love for mankind and the truest concern for its future generations. And finally, Jagex's grand plan is to rot our minds with the hallucinatory drug of conformism. I'm sure Mao Tse Tung would approve. In any case, for those of us who make our living trying to speak out against behavior and speech that is intended to throw us into a "heads I win, tails you lose" situation, it is important to consider that if a cogent, logical argument entered its brain, no doubt a concussion would result. So you see, Jagex still labors under the outmoded pretense that anyone who dares to shed a little light on some of the ignorant prejudices that reside within its pea-sized brain can expect to suffer hair loss and tooth decay as a result.

Omfg… I'm gonna look so wise with this! Thanks man! :)

This is real trolling machine.

From: The Un-Named
Am I the only one that read all of it to find it was a joke? :(

It was a joke ? :duh:

RAM got owned :p

I think hes saying that even though it was generated, I meant it. Which I did ;)

Yeah i read it all too, then got the the link, and was all Awwww, Why did i waste all the time reading that, but it did sound pretty legit.. lol..