From: o0Matthius0o
"what about this!" steven said. He continued the story. A wandering troll comes by the bar, the barmaid freaks out which causes a panic "OH MY GOD! ITS A TROLL! KILL IT!" And so everyone did. In a hellstorm of fury everyone stomped the troll to death. Feeling bad for the troll Matthius picked him up and buried him under a bridge with all the other dead trolls. "Everyone, lets honor the dead" Matthius said, and everyone grabbed candles to hold a cangle light vigil at the bridge. But cosmasjdz got too close to the old bridge and it set fire. "QUICK! GRAB SOME WATER!" cosmas said. "There is none!" one of the bar patrons that showed up shrieked. Looking around frantically matthius did the only thing he could and started to pee the fire out. Everyone else followed suit only to realize after 5 minutes that the fire was too big to pee out. Everyone cared for a total of one minute that they peed on the poor trolls grave and then stopped.
"Well what do ya think?" Spielberg asked ~
"No enough explosions!" a haggard-looking Michael Bay slurred as he staggered into the room. His hair askew and a tie around his head, he looked like he'd been out partying with George Lucas, eating paint chips and butchering Star Wars films.
Bay plopped down in the spare chair and scooted closer to Speilberg, clearing his throat and wiping his nose. It became apparent that he was about to weave a masterful tale of how the candlelight vigil
should have unfolded…
"The scene: a lively tavern in a quiet, sleepy town. Light winds caress the long grass in the communal-field, and the sun is beginning to wink below the horizon. As the landscape outside grows ever darker, the lamps in the tavern are turned up, fools strike their lyres with greater enthusaism, and pints are passed around by increasingly inebriated men.
A yound barmaid, Clarissa, tired of being heckled and pinched by some of the tavern's more rowdy patrons, has temporarily retired to the far room, where the servants' supplies and surplus cookware is kept. She cracks the window and peers outside, letting the breeze caress her face and ruffle her hair over her eyes. She enjoys these moments of solace, when the hustle-bustle of everyday life wears out its welcome.
Wrinkling her nose with displeasure, Clarissa sweeps the hair from her face and begins searching, for the source of the new, sudden, and unplesant odor assaulting her olfactory senses. Confused, she wonders, "
Has the new girl been tossing the giblets out of the window again? Cook told her off for that last week, but it's quite a bit easier than using the compost pile, which smells tenfold as bad…It was then that a horrible realization came to light: the giblets and waste-bits from the evening has
not been disposed of yet. More, the smell had grown stronger, and more rancid, and moved closer to where Clarissa stood, suddenly feeling cold and vulnerable in the silhouette of the open window.
Hurriedly, Clarissa decided that she
didn't care what the source of the smell was, that it
didn't matter right now, and that it
wasn't something that couldn't been looked at tomorrow, whatever it was. Suddenlt foreboding, she quickly retracted her body back into the building and slammed the window shut, rattling the fragile panes and catching her sleeve in the process.
"
Shit," she thought, hands latching the window, then swooping down to tug the fabric free. She was panicking now, the atmosphere in the tiny room had adjusted visibly, and the blackness outside no longer seemed peaceful. She tugged on the fabric, but it was stuck fast, and wouldn't come free.
As the bloodshot-red eyes loomed from the darkness and peered through the glass that suddenly seemed all too thin, Clarissa knew she had made a grave mistake.
Her scream echoed throughout the common-room, causing all motion to cease. As fools strummed their last note, and men guffawed their final guffaw, the door to the servants' supply room slowly creaked open. A squelching sound precipitated a sign made more monstrous by the mangled, bloodstained servant's apron disappearing into its mouth…"
~
(ideally I would have actually gotten to the candlelight vigil like mentioned before but I kinda got carried away lmao)
e: apoloigies for any misspellings, firefox's spellcheck isn't working for some reason